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Forum: Self-Harm Discussion and Support 11-10-2011, 09:39 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 469
Posted By quiet1
No more blades!!

um...yea. Today I threw out my last blade. I feel weird, but also kinda positive about it. :thumbup:
Forum: Veterans Board 11-10-2011, 09:26 PM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
thank you for taking the time to reply to my...

thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. i am in a much better place today then i was on friday. i threw away my blades. all of them. i know i can always get more but i am attempting to...
Forum: Veterans Board 07-10-2011, 02:52 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
i am not doing well right now and could use some...

i am not doing well right now and could use some support. the contract i have with my therapist in IOP is that i will not harm more than once a day. so far i have fucked that all up today. and...
Forum: Veterans Board 29-09-2011, 09:53 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 1,252
Posted By quiet1
Later Tater!

Later Tater!
Forum: Veterans Board 29-09-2011, 09:51 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 506
Posted By quiet1
hey there. i just wanted to post to let you know...

hey there. i just wanted to post to let you know that you are not alone. i am experiencing a lot of the same feelings you are. it is hard to see SH as a choice when it feels so compelling, like you...
Forum: Veterans Board 29-09-2011, 12:33 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
today was tough. but i told the truth about it...

today was tough. but i told the truth about it all. i told them how often i am cutting, what i am using to cut, where i cut (even showed them when they asked), where i keep my blades (which is...
Forum: Veterans Board 23-09-2011, 02:27 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
i fucked it up. i lied about how often i cut and...

i fucked it up. i lied about how often i cut and told them that i could contract for safety when i know i can't. i was too scared of going to the hospital. i feel like ripping myself to shreds...
Forum: Veterans Board 22-09-2011, 12:51 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
i am getting really nervous . i have an...

i am getting really nervous . i have an assessment tomorrow afternoon for an intensive outpatient program. i am kinda freaking out about it. i don't want to lie, but i don't want to be hospitalized....
Forum: Veterans Board 20-09-2011, 05:40 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
I said I wasn't going to harm again tonight. All...

I said I wasn't going to harm again tonight. All I have to do is go to bed. Why is that so hard? I have such a strong urge to cut right now. I had a long conversation with bill tonight and although...
Forum: Veterans Board 19-09-2011, 01:52 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
wow.i thought i was in a bad mood a few minutes...

wow.i thought i was in a bad mood a few minutes ago...nothing compared to how alone i feel right now.

my friend bill cancelled for tonight and tomorrow. the damage has already been done. whatever.
Forum: Veterans Board 19-09-2011, 12:50 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
OMG that is the most hideous dress! It was good...

OMG that is the most hideous dress! It was good for a laugh though. i went shopping with my mom and i did get a dress that is very nice. and shoes. gotta have the right shoes to go with the dress...
Forum: Veterans Board 18-09-2011, 03:34 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
i am now home alone. i spent all day babysitting...

i am now home alone. i spent all day babysitting and when i wasn't babysitting i was at my mom's house spending time with my sister. they don't know how bad things are for me, but it was good to be...
Forum: Veterans Board 17-09-2011, 08:41 PM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
i made it thru last night, but i didn't sleep at...

i made it thru last night, but i didn't sleep at all. my mind raced all night. i wish i could say that i didn't SH today when i came home, but i can't. at least i am being honest about it. i suck...
Forum: Veterans Board 17-09-2011, 06:03 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
Need someone right now. It's late and I can't...

Need someone right now. It's late and I can't sleep. I have a terrible urge to hurt myself but I'm not home. I am supposed to be good cuz I'm at a friends house. I'm just not sure I can make it they...
Forum: Veterans Board 16-09-2011, 06:29 PM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
i'm sorry to bump this up but i am having a tough...

i'm sorry to bump this up but i am having a tough time right now. i was on the phone with the intensive outpatient people and they said that my insurance company will not cover the program that i...
Forum: Veterans Board 14-09-2011, 01:27 PM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
thank you for the replies. i really appreciate...

thank you for the replies. i really appreciate knowing someone out there cares. i cut myself again yesterday worse than the day before. i am stuck in the loop again.

i did do a few things on a...
Forum: Veterans Board 13-09-2011, 05:20 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
I cut myself today several times. I couldn't take...

I cut myself today several times. I couldn't take it anymore. I told my boyfriend about it and he is blowing it out of preportion. He thinks that it means I need to be in the hospital. I don't think...
Forum: Veterans Board 12-09-2011, 06:24 PM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
i just woke up from a dream that was beyond...

i just woke up from a dream that was beyond triggering. i don't think i can do this.

i have my blade out and I'm ready to fuck up the 10 months i have put together. i don't want to hurt my...
Forum: Veterans Board 10-09-2011, 08:43 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
Want to be bad. Can't sleep. Feel like I'm losing...

Want to be bad. Can't sleep. Feel like I'm losing it. Shaking. Hate myself.
Forum: Veterans Board 09-09-2011, 02:30 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
i had therapy today and it was rough. right now i...

i had therapy today and it was rough. right now i feel raw and numb and maybe even sad. many times i get a delayed response from therapy where i feel tired and spacey right afterwards, but then the...
Forum: Mental Health Discussion and Support 06-09-2011, 10:25 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 767
Posted By quiet1
it wasn't made clear to me just how...

it wasn't made clear to me just how non-functional i was until i was rushed to the hospital via ambulance from my day program. that was a wake up call and i care to not repeat the adventure. its...
Forum: Veterans Board 06-09-2011, 09:22 PM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
thank you for the reply pomegranate. i made it...

thank you for the reply pomegranate. i made it thru the night and i think i can keep fighting these urges i just don't know if i want to anymore. its hard. there are several things eating at me...
Forum: Veterans Board 06-09-2011, 03:23 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
can't explain how much i hate myself right now. ...

can't explain how much i hate myself right now. need pain. want to see blood. fuck.
Forum: Veterans Board 03-09-2011, 01:12 PM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
I'm ok. Eventually went to sleep. Thank you so...

I'm ok. Eventually went to sleep. Thank you so much for being there for me. I didn't hurt myself. I made a promise that I wouldn't and I kept that promise. Oh what a difference a few hours makes....
Forum: Veterans Board 03-09-2011, 06:22 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 1,656
Posted By quiet1
Distressed *positive update*

Want to hurt self. Feel dirty and wrong and bad. Can't sleep. No more words.
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