Just keep swimming
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: away with the fairies
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Survival guide to being bullied and abused
ok so obviously its horrible when you are being abused and bullied and seeing as im on an up ive decided to make a sort of survival guide to being bullied and abused, its just ideas on how to cope and deal with it and things to do that can help. anyone can adde any if they want to.
1- write out "this is not my fault" at least 50 times a day, i know it sounds stupid but if you write it enough and say it enough it will begin to sink in
2- keep a diary of the abuse and or bullying, this is so if you decide to go to the police or something they have somethihg to work from, also it helps to get things out
3- tell someone anyone, it will help you to get to talk about it, i used to tell my teddy what was going on because even though it was an inanimet object it helped that i had said it out loud
4- use RYL or any other site, yes i know if your reading this your likely to be a member but theres a different between being a member and acturly using the site, there are so many helpful people on here and so many people who have gone through it and can help you talk things through
5- always have something on you that makes you feel safe, anything at all, alot of abuse and bullying victims carry a whistle to alert people if it happens, it can be anything a small teddy or what ever, i always have something that reminds me of my childhood before the bullying and abuse got really bad. NEVER EVER CARRY A WEAPON, the majority of abuse that happens with weapons was the victims weapon, it puts you in more danger and you can get arrested.
6- light a candle and then blow it out, keep doing it, it will show you that even though you may not have control over everything you still have got control, its a big help because in the end of the day anyone can light a candle and blow it out.
7- have somewhere that is just a space for you, be it your bedroom or a special place you go to, everyone needs there own space and its yours you can make it safe, like in my room im able to hide under my art table when i get scared.
8- when you got to sleep at night make sure there is something by your bed that stimulates the sense, it can be something smelly or something that feels nice or what ever, your senses are the best weapons you have, they can lie to you, it will also help you feel grounded if you get flashbacks or nightmares because it brings you back to the here and now.
9- keep a positive diary, i know that sounds a little silly but when you are going through hell you forget that there are still positives and if you have a list of the positive things that happen then you can look at it and it will remind you that not everything is bad, now positive stuff can be anything, like if you have your faveourite meal one night, it may seem small and like its nothing but if it makes you smile it is positive.
10- try to stay away from mind altering drugs accept medication from doctors, i know some people struggle with drug abuse but when on mind altering drugs things are more at extremes like your either super high or super low, also alot of drugs can give trips and if your already struggling with flashbacks and nightmares it can be a living hell.
11- be mindful, that does sound a little silly but once a day just focus on what you are doing, like focus on your breathing, the sensation of cold air going in and warmer air leaving, now the aim isnt to just focus on that and dont feel bad if you get destracted just notice the thoughts and bring it back to what ever it is you are doing.
12- make a happy box fill it with things that make you happy, like your faveourite film, arty stuff anything thats special to you, but NO TOOLS IN WHICH TO SELF HARM IN ANYWAY.
13- do something each day for you and only you, be selfish even if its just for 5 minutes, treat yourself, you deserve it!!!
14- if you arent on any medication from your doctor, try Kalms, they are all natural and just help you relax ALWAYS READ THE LABLE!
15- try and see your friends at least once a week, if you feel you dont have friends, organise a meet on here it will help you meet new people, seeing your friends is an importan thing as your friends no you best, they know how to make you smile and will love you whatever you do.
16- make a plan to do something, like a meet on here, go out for a day, go somewhere nice, if you have a plan in the future then when you are down and possibly suicidal you still have something to look forward to and it really does help.
17- make a list of things you want to acumplish in the next month, it will give you stuff to aim for, fill your not, will take your mind off things even if for 5 minutes and if you manage it you will feel so proud, BUT if you dont manage to do it DONT beat yourself up0 about it, try again next month and evenutally you will bvet there.
18- have responsibilty for something, something that needs you to survive, if you cant get a pet by a plant and keep it alive, that way if you feel suicidal you have something that will die without you and it will help you feel like you are important because you are.
19- make a list of what you want a friend, boyfriend or girlfriend to be, and if they dont fit that list then they are not good for you, if you have a list of what you need and want then it is easier to see if this person is going to help you and if they dont fit then its time to end it.
20- ok so this is the most important of all HAVE FUN! everyone needs to have some fun in their life, go be a kid and jump in puddles, go to a play park (when no children are there as it is for them) do a sport anything you find fun that isnt going to harm you.
21- try not to listen to depressing music, find something fun, i listen to things i liked when i was a kid like S club 7. also try not to listen to songs about abuse it will just make you feel the pain more.
22- alot of people who have been abused or bulllied find it extremly hard to look after themselves like washing, get some dry shampoo (sold at asda for about £2) also get some intament wipes (designed for when you are on your period) this is just so you can freshen up. also get a strong deoderent and if you being bullied it wont help. also try to have a bath or shower at least once a week if you can handle that try having one every two weeks. YOU MUST REMEMBER not to beat yourself up about it, this just means that you find it difficult it doesnt mean your a bad person.
23- when you do have a bath or shower try and make it as comfortable as possible, i find having candles and bubbles in my bath helps, the bubbles are great because i hate seeing myself naked. if you truely cant stand seeing yourself naked, get a bikini or some sort of swim suit, put it on in the dark and then when you have the bath or shower you dont have to see yourself naked.
24- make yourself a reward chart, what ever you find difficult, amke a reward chart and when you have so many stickers or what ever you use do something nice for yourself, get a haircut, get your nails done, buy a new outfit anything that will make it worth it for trying. like with me for every 30 days i dont self harm i buy myself a new cd or new dvd, something like that.
25- THIS ONE IS REALLY IMPORTANT - stay safe, dont go anywhere at night that hasnt got street lights. NEVER take a short cut through an alleyway. ALWAYS tell someone where you are and what time you roughly plan on getting home. text someone or phone someone when you are leaving to go home and then text when you are home, that way if you arent home within a certain time limit someone can call the right people. if you are meeting someone new ALWAYS make sure it is in a public place, dont go anywhere you dont know or dont feel safe, if they suggest a walk in a quiet place say no. i know not everyon have evil intentions but they dont wear a badge saying "im a bad person" (would be so easy if they did though). if someone wants to meet at a really silly time like after 9pm say no, after that time there arent many people around and it is more likely that people wont notice if something does go wrong. take a whistle with you or something that makes an incredibly annoying sound, if something goes wrong or you dont feel safe use it. ok this one is quite important, if you are meeting someone new have a friend on standby so if you send them a text they send one saying there has been an emergancy, that way you have proof you have to leave. this can be used for extremly boring people but also if you feel unsafe.
26- and yes this one has been said before but it is the most important so im gunna say it again HANVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!
i hope this helps
Last edited by ladybug : 24-05-2010 at 12:01 PM.
Reason: added more