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Old 25-01-2009, 03:38 PM   #1
Porcelain Child
The Name Is Claire..
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Nightmares- Help and Understanding

Even though i have been away and kinda not been contributing like i used too.. i have been in a way...

I have finally finished this thing that i thought might help people... i know it has helped me..

Nightmares are just a means of allowing hidden fears and feelings to emerge, but because they emerge in the way they do, they can be extremely difficult to control or mask them.

Note the word can be, it does not say they cannot.
Survivors often relive the abuse they suffered in the form of nightmares, and often it can manifest into what seems almost real, in that they "dream" what might have happened, or could have happened, which is often even scarier.

Here are some of the factors that permit nightmares to occur

1. Meeting/seeing someone who resembles your abuser, allowing the memories to creep back, scaring you and putting you back a step or two

2. Hearing/reading another persons story of abuse, which mirrors your abuse, awakening hidden thoughts, fears and feelings.

3. Feeling ill, depressed, lonely, sad and afraid.

4. Being stressed, including holidays, visits to people's houses, etc.

Bypass the nightmares, simply by facing the problem, putting the 'ghosts to be put to rest' avoiding stalling tactics like alcohol, drugs, work, or whatever you've used in the past.

Many things daily can remind you, so you need to talk those fears through, and gradually see that whatever did happen to you, you were in no way to blame.

In order to release that feelings you need to let those feelings of blame move back to their rightful owners, which is the people or person who created them for you, namely your abuser(s)

Although the following sounds easy, it will take time, its not easy, but is possible and in doing so, you will get restful, undisturbed sleep.

To begin with, you should take a look at changing your bedtime routine; this can take many forms, so here are just a few that could work:


1. Changing the physical layout of your room, perhaps moving the bed to somewhere that feels safer, maybe facing the door.

2. If you leave a light on, turn it off, don't read before you sleep, or do if you don't.

3. Turn off the radio if you listen to one, or perhaps leave a radio on to help you rest, and feel safe

4. Instead of surfing the Net, watching TV etc, change the routine, read a book, listen to music, arrange things for tomorrow.

5. Reflect back aloud on the day you had, what went wrong, what could have been done better, and finish off with what you achieved, all this will work to put you in a calmer frame of mind.

6. Take a bath, with music, candles, incense sticks, whatever works for you.

7. Join a session of relaxation classes, and learn how to relax

8. Avoid sleeping in the daytime, sleeping at the wrong time upsets your internal body clock, so get into a routine, and sleep will come to you.

Above all else, make sure that you have enough sleep every night, otherwise you will feel too tired, physically and emotionally to be of any good to yourself, never mind others.

Learn to trust someone again, allowing them to help you go leave the past behind, and go beyond the destructive feelings that you have

You can kick the past back where it belongs, rest assured this method works, continues to work for survivors, and it can work for you, so re-read it again, making sure you don't skip any of the advice offered, unless you want to that is

Still stuck, try this then ~ Some tips to help you control the dreams that may haunt you

It can help to write down what you've dreamed, (have pen and paper to hand, so you can write it down and get back to sleep again.)


1. Free Writing

Start anywhere and just keep writing whatever comes to mind. Don't censor or edit anything out. It's like free associating onto a piece of paper. Record everything you are thinking and feeling. If you get stuck, simply write "I'm stuck, I'm stuck..." over and over again until a new association comes up. Then keep writing.

Or write down each element of the dream, then write a stream of consciousness for each one. Compare what your wrote for each element of the dream. Look for similarities and patterns. Hold onto these writings - and go back to them later on. Days or weeks later you may see something that you missed the first time around.


2. Free Association

To unpack the various meanings of a dream, take each object, person, situation, etc. and free associate to them, one at a time. What does it remind you of? What comes to mind when you think of that element of the dream? Let your imagination go. Let your attention wander. Come up with as many associations as possible. Do this in your head, or talk out loud. If you let yourself go with this, something will come up - a memory, an idea, a feeling. It may not tell you "The Meaning" to the dream, but it will give you pieces to the puzzle.


Stressed? Dreaming dreams you'd rather not?

If you're stressed during the day, that stress will, without doubt, emerge during your sleeping hours, as that is the bodys way of dealing with stress.

Sometimes the dreams you have can be in the form of symbols or as enactments of different scenes but ones which bring out the same emotions - anger, frustration, grief - whatever is causing you distress, and understandably, some of those dreams are extremely disturbing.

You can turn this around and learn to interpret these dreams to try to identify exactly what it is that is causing you problems, and k keeping a dream diary is often very enlightening.

If your dreams are really terrifying, they are deemed to be night terrors (nightmares) These can be a sign of more severe stress or a deeper emotional problem.

Normal dreams are a safety valve for the mind, allowing you to work through situations which have had impact on you during the day.

Don't expect your dreams to be make any sense or be coherent - they are usually a mixture of all sorts, and often fail to make sense, or can become confused with reality, making you doubt what you really think, plus you can get the odd few scenes which appear to come from nowhere!


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Old 26-01-2009, 01:39 PM   #2
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Thankyou Claire =]

You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

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Old 29-01-2009, 07:59 PM   #3
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thanks claire

Das Leben ich(The life of me)

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Old 29-01-2009, 11:26 PM   #4
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Thanks. this is helpful. I also think it could do with being stickied?

I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no-one would listen, cos no-one else cared

I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you

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Old 04-02-2009, 04:09 PM   #5
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RYL Family :
White_angel is my big sister
Bookworm3009 is my cousin
White_silence is my little sister
Bubblegum Netmeg is my pet monkey


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Old 07-06-2009, 04:38 PM   #6
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Really helpful stuff thank u


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Old 07-06-2009, 08:41 PM   #7
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This is reallly good advice: in fact i printed this off and i'm going to try some of these things.
Thanks a lot for posting this.

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Old 19-07-2009, 08:22 PM   #8
Porcelain Child
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Old 19-07-2009, 11:37 PM   #9
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Thank you for this <3

So you found a girl
That thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing
About really deep thoughts?

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Old 20-07-2009, 06:28 PM   #10
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This is very good. Thanks for posting!

Would maybe make a good 'sticky'
*hint hint*

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Old 06-08-2009, 07:59 PM   #11
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Thank you for posting. :] xo.


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Old 31-12-2010, 04:53 AM   #12
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Farewell the Ashtray Girl
July 12, 1987-April 30, 2010

Eva Flies Away
December 3, 2007-October 31, 2011

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Old 02-01-2011, 04:54 PM   #13
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i like the free writing idea.
i gets nightmares a lot so anythin that might help is good.

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Old 10-06-2011, 05:48 AM   #14
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Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief

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