Okay this is going to be a major rant but I do need advice before I do somthing unrealistic and stupid.
Okay im 16. My time to be in is 9.00pm if my dad is in work of a night or 10.00pm if hes in work of a day.
I think thats pathetic. Im sorry but my mates are actaully going off me because of the time I have to be in and I dont blame them cos they go out quite late and Im only actaully out with them an hour most. And because my dad hates my two best mates because they smoke my mum and dad won't let them in the house. And then I get moaned at because Im always out all the time. :S. My laptop also gets taken of me at 9.00pm + plus my fone.
Then I cant stay over anywere. Im 16 and Im not allowed to stay over at my mates for the night? :S.
I smoke. I hav smoked since I was 14. And my dads only recently twigged. But my mum and dad have started going through my room not just "tidying it" actaully going through my draws to look for anything like lighters ciggies, drugs ect (Im not even on drugs never have been :S). And then when they find somthing they FLIP.
Why are they looking in my room when they know they will find stuff they dont want to find and it will cause an unwanted argument?
And you might think there worried but I can assure you there just nosey. My mums the worst. Shes today found a ciggi packet in my room. And has out it on the side so as soon as my dad walks in he sees it and hes going to FLIP on me.
What the hell is happening to my life. :'(
And you can say that I need to prove myself to them but if theyd let me then I would. But they dont. So I cant.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Look, when I was 16 I wasn't even allowed out of an evening, because of my family being the way it was. It didn't even enter my mind to ask, push the boundaries, because things were so restrictive - mind you, I had noone to go anywhere with. I experimented with makeup, some bits got on the floor and they thought I was on drugs! I didn't even know what drugs were! You're lucky in so many ways more than you can see.
what would you be doing out the house until 10pm?
Do you still go to school/college? i dont think 10pm is early for a week day anyway if you have to be up the next morning.
What time are your friends supposed to be back at their houses?
Have you tried speaking rationally to your parents about this.. perhaps say that you want to go for a meal and to the cinema with your friends, but the film doesnt finish until 10:30?
Perhaps tell them that you will text them every hour if they want you to, or you will let them know what you eill be doing of an evening?
Same with staying over at peoples houses, perhaps they are worried about what you might be doing? perhaps they think that as you started smoking early, you'll start drinking at an early age too?
Have your parents met most of your friends? perhaps ask them if they could meet a friend at a time or whatever for about 10 minutes before you go out of an evening?
I honestly dont think 9 or 10 is early.. i was 16 a long time ago though.
I wouldnt mind them time if it was just on a weekday but its like that of a weekend as well. I am in ollege and placement, but I usally dont go to bed till 12ish or 1am anyway because Im watching TV.
I did that once at a film. My dad say be in for 10. So we missed some film which started at 8.00 because wed took ages getting ready so we got there at half 8 and decideded to see twilight instead. So I payed for my ticket then realiased it didnt finishs till half 11 so I texed my dad and he fumed and picked me up there and then. (This was on a weekday but It was orange wednesdays). My dads seen my mates and just dosent like them at all. Niether does my mum. I started drinking when I was 15 but didnt drink all the time.
Ive said that to my mum and dad ill text yas and they just dont wanna know.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
well.. do you have a job? or do your parents pay for you?
Do you do any cooking and cleaning in the house?
maybe if you proved yourself in ways like that, they would be willing to grant you a bit more freedom..
Yes and they dont like it. So I tell them when Im planning on having a drink. I get ema £30 a week. I clean my room cos thats the usally thing I get moaned at the most for. I dont bother with anything else because Ive tried and its not the way "they" want it so I let my parents do it. I have been tryin to get a job but no-were is taking on and I never heard back from any of the shops about christmas temps. And cooking? They wouldnt trust me to.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
hmm... well I'm probably an odd case as I no longer lived with my parents at 16 (they chucked me out). But before that I wasn't allowed out, eriod... I could go to school then had to be home straight from there, and I was allowed to go to work, but my parents had to take me, I wasn't allowed to get on buses or anything alone... even now (i'm 22) when I visit my parents it's the same
if you want to be treated more like an adult you have to earn it. Show that you can live by their rules, no boundry pushing, and then have a calm frank discussion about it with youer parents (without saying so and so gat's to stay out later as that argument never works) but point out that maybe your curfew on a weekend should be later than the one thrugh the week. Try not to get into an argument, stay calm. And then stick to whatever they suggest to show that you can, and in time the rules will ecome more lenient
I dont bother with anything else because Ive tried and its not the way "they" want it so I let my parents do it. I have been tryin to get a job but no-were is taking on and I never heard back from any of the shops about christmas temps. And cooking? They wouldnt trust me to.
wow, sounds exactly like my parents lol.
I found the thing to do is start small, like do the hooovering or clean a small area and see what happens. Or offer to help them while they're doing housework, sometmes just the ofer makes them see you differently and as more responsiable
i dont mean to sound preachy, but i think that if your parents know you drink, and know that you smoke.. they may be asking you to come in at what you see as an early time because they are worried for your safety, you arent legally old enough to drink, or to buy cigarettes, and perhaps they are worried about people that are your friends that are able to buy these things.
Im not sure how you could make it better, other than having a frank discussion about it.
Show them you are mature. Don't get into an arguement, when your Dad comes home, discuss it with him, rationally.
Just tell him that you smoke, don't lie or anything. Apologize too, maybe you don't feel you are in the wrong, but they are just looking out for you by the sounds of it.
Maybe they are a little over-protective... but they love and care about you, and want you to be safe, and smoking and drinking is giving them reason to be concerned.
Just talk to them. Tell them how you feel and don't get into an argument.
TBH, I think 9pm is pretty reasonable. Maybe you don't feel that way, but it's just in your best interest.
Try and put yourself in their shoes and take a step back.
What would you want to hear from your daughter right now?
How would you feel about her safety?
~Beauty without intellence, is a materpiece painted on a napkin.~
right, what do you do at 9:00-10:00 at night? Hang around the streets or what? I wasn't allowed to do that at 16. Yes my parents like my friends but there just here for your safety.
Would you want your child in todays society and dark nights hanging on streets? I wouldn't.
I'll tell you something. At 14 when your mates are all in town or going places on their own I had to be with an adult. I wasn't allowed to be out without an adult present. Just try talking to them. but unfortinately you'll just have to gain their respect...
Do your parents think your hanging out with the wrong crowd? Do you think you could quit smoking and drinking seeing as your only 16.
Even now but i do it out of respect for my parents I tell them where I'm going, who with, when I'm coming back and always have my mobile on me.
I am now not going to use this account as my main one from now on.
If you want my new account PM me. xxx
Yeah but thats the thing.
If I was allowed mates in the house wed just sit off in my room maybe go out for an hour and come back.
Thats what pisses me off the most.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Yeah but thats the thing.
If I was allowed mates in the house wed just sit off in my room maybe go out for an hour and come back.
Thats what pisses me off the most.
Again, i dont mean to be rude, but until you pay your way, or live alone, you cant really grumble about who your parents do or dont want in their house.
Again, i dont mean to be rude, but until you pay your way, or live alone, you cant really grumble about who your parents do or dont want in their house.
this.
at the end of the day, it's your parents rules & my parents wouldn't let me out late when i was younger, probably because i was smoking & drinking at a young age & they didnt want me ****ing my life up.
so i moved out.
but, looking back, i'm glad they were less lenient than other parents, it taught me a lot of very good lessons.
