Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - can I have some hugs?
this morning we were woken by a knock at the door... it was a flat inspection... we failed...
now all that's going through my head over and over is that I fail as a woman and need to be punished... that's what used to hapen... it the flat was untidy or dinner was late, or anything else like that, I would be punished... beeten... hurt...
Now I am cleaning like a mad person...
but I can't stand silence so got on Greys anatomy on my laptop in the background. Second episode... and a rape victim is a patient...
The following content has been hidden - Reason : very trig
she's smaller than I, weighs less then me, and do you know what? she fought the guy off and bit off the end of his penis!!!
*hugs tight* Don't you feel bad because you failed inspection. I'm messy and that doesn't matter. Also, physical size doesn't matter! Just because someone has more fight in them doesn't mean someone who freezes or is terrifed is weaker. She probably hadn't had lots of trauma in childhood like you did. *snuggles* It's harder to fight off hurt and danger when you're used to it, it feels normal. It's not your fault and you're not a failure. *hugs*
Farewell the Ashtray Girl
July 12, 1987-April 30, 2010
It's kind of like with money. You get a new crisp dollar bill or coin. It's clean, straight, untouched. Then as it's passed around a lot it gets stained, wrinkled, torn, written on, whtever people do to it. Each one is different. Some are kept in better care than others, but in the end? We all end up getting crinkled up and torn a bit.
Farewell the Ashtray Girl
July 12, 1987-April 30, 2010
anything and everything, even things that seem to have no relation to anything, is triggering me in one way or another... I constantly either want to SI, am having flashbacks, am seeing things, am dissocosiating or am switching... it's almostconstant :(
*cuddles tight*
I'd just like to add to Tracie's awesome analogy that even if you are a bit crinkled, youre still always accepted as money and youre still a dollar
try and have fun :) whats the worst that could happen? just sit back and enjoy it and stick close to the people you trust if you get paranoid or upset ^_^
then you can come on tomorrow and tell us about it on the Love Yourself thread x
didn't g too badly... Jess made a few appearances, and Michelle came out to yell at people... but I think people excused it all (possibly excusing it for alcohol lol)
I was naughty and drank not meant to on my meds... but meh, seemingly my meds have made me immune to alcohols :/
Though I have an assessed lab starting in 6 hours lol
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
