A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I'm really proud of Ayka, she's come so far from how she first started out. I think I've avoided situations that would get her angry, apart from when I was in Butlins a few days ago and some random girl called me a sk*t as I walked past her and Ayka got really annoyed so instead of letting her fight the girl (as she would've liked to have done) I let her punch this old wooden shack a few times. Bruised my knuckle a bit but it was the lesser of many evils.
umm.. so hard to keep up here.. but someone said I messed up some kid's head? wtf? i dont get that. I dont purposely try to mess up anyones head.. cause well we had plenty of that with ex's head games/emotional abuse for all those years .. I do get mad at Hiding alot and sometimes Sarah but I am getting better with that believe it or not.
I am not trying to cause issues or trouble here on this forum. we are all here to support and be supported and try to understand everything more..right?
but I dont freaking get why people are judging me.. what gives you that right?
sorry a little pissed off. SADIE
Last edited by hidingme : 08-07-2010 at 11:38 PM.
Reason: corrections
ok sadie will get upset with me for apologizing for her but i will anyhow. we have big issues about people judging us.. even if we just think they might be.
anyhow today has been another difficult switchy day.. today is my daughters birthday and sarah is super hyper excited over it.. we made her a card at work today and we all signed it and sarah colored it.
tell ya what.. im not trying to be directly aggressive here or scare anyone or make anyone not wanna post here,, but well we have nothing else.. no dr. no counselor and frankly we are all somewhat scared especially hiding..
but if it will make others feel more comfortable.. we will go. Goodluck to all SADIE
No one wants you to go Sadie,
We don't know who told you to stop messing with a kids head, but it was out of line. You've come a long way in the short time we've known you which is great :)
Hiding,
Sorry your day has been so switchy, it can be really disorienting. If we had a child we're sure we'd go crazy over their birthday too!
We're tired, our body and mind won't seem to slow down until after 3am, which makes for a very long day when we start up at 6:30am.
We have art therapy today, from 10-3 and then T straight after. Last week at art therapy we had a pretty rough time, this week we hope it is better.
We tried telling T on Tuesday about the phone calls/threats but we couldn't, couldn't get the words out...today we will try again.
it's great that you tried to tell your T, even if you didn't quite manage it it's still a possitive step. Good luck with telling them today, and hope art therapy goes well
we just feel unwanted. we dot have many resources for support and understanding and well sorta feel unwelcome here now too. we had another chat we went to on irc but well its complicated but dont think that is an option for us anymore either..
feeling so lost alone and rejected and with sadie it comes out as anger sorry =( Hiding
well sarah is in her room now sleeping i think..or hiding..i dont know.
i dont mean to scare her but Hiding just..GRRRR..
The following content has been hidden - Reason : SI trigger
Hiding has been so depressed tonight and wallowig in her pathetic depression that ive resorted to pinching our arms since well mike and hiding wont let me do anytihg else. pinching is my last resort to try to "snap"her out of these pathetic moods.
sorry if i am blunt but that is how i am.. Hiding is never blunt.. and well it falls back to me..my job i guess you could say. SADIE
no one really has been posting here much since my.. whatever that was yesterday.. Iam sorry.. didnt mean to alienate or scare everyone away.. *feels guilty* Hiding
p.s. gona try to be more quiet here for a while i think..i am so so sorry..to everyone
Last edited by hidingme : 09-07-2010 at 02:05 PM.
Reason: added p.s.
Like has been said, there are different times due to different locations.
I just feel like this thread is becoming fast and aggressive. We need to remember that our alters/others/ whatever you like to call them are responsible just like any other member on this site.
Also, it's important to remember that alters are a part of you, not separate people. They are fractured identities that hold certain things that they were created specifically to deal with. But regardless, they are parts of us. And since they are parts of us, we are held accountable for what is written.
This is a thread full of people who have experienced things that can make them more sensitive than most to a lot of things, among them tone of speech and the feelings of others, etc, or how things are interpreted over the internet. Therefore I feel it is pretty important to maintain a somewhat calm and managed atmosphere, within reason. Of course, alters should be able to express themselves.
Also on an unrelated note, and this is just me, but I become confused when I see people "finding" or knowing so much about their systems and more names being added to signatures, but then again I'm not sure who has actually been diagnosed or not. I am just very sensitive to the diagnosis, because it's one that people usually perceive to be "unreal" and "fake". I myself have been diagnosed, but it has taken a lot of therapy to learn how to know and work with my system, and to know who was out or who did what, even to learn names.
Therefore I become suspicious of people who seem to know so much about their systems, etc, and I'm not accusing anyone of lying or anything, I'm just stating how I feel. There are a few people on here who I know have been officially diagnosed, and I just worry about being seen as a "faker", even when I have received the diagnosis of DID from three professionals. And yet I feel awkward because my alters don't post here much, and I don't seem to "switch" as much or as fast as some posts here do.
Just something I needed to say, and I'm well aware it will most likely be found to be offensive to some, and I'm sorry, but I just needed to speak my mind.
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