i keep seeing vanishing cats

[Arienette]

and i don't know what to do about it

i've put off going climbing tonight incase i get distracted whilst i'm climbing or belaying someone,

because in my room today i've seen about 7 cats who vanish, all different and brief but distracting and weird at the same time.

my mood is a bit on the up, but i managed a 13 hour sleep last night (natural, no meds involved)

and have a drive to do loads of projects and seek out money making ideas

and i've been spending money like crazy

i dunno if i should speak to my team or my support worker but i don't know how to broach the topic.

x

[not_so_insig]

I would definitely speak to a member of your team. Even if they say it's nothing to worry about its best that they're informed.

[Arienette]

I spoke to my support worker about it. He said it could be flashbacks maybe.

It's freaking me out now.

[shadow-light]

Firstly yay another climbing AND tough murder runner! *high fives*


Secondly speaking to your team sounds wise. What do you think of their flashback theory?

[Arienette]

i don't know what to make of it

it could be

i have no trauma of a cat

but one that died a few months ago and immediately after his death i had the same thing

and i would hear him

it's quite distressing for me now because i don't want to think about him because i miss him

but maybe thats just the problem

i don't know

i want to OD to make it stop

[shadow-light]

it could be linked to your missing the cat that died. I've heard of people seeing people who have died after their death due to greif, esspecially if that person has a history of psychosis or dissosiative episodes.

I can understand wanting to OD to make it go away, but in the long run that won't help. Best plan is to speak to members of your team and try to get the the bottom of why it's happening

[Arienette]

thanks,

i think i'll try and go to sleep. i do have a history of dissociation, so it could make sense

like when we were talking about him i did start crying so maybe i'm not over him yet.

i dunno.

i just want it to end.

[Serendipity.]

Well done for speaking to your support worker. Did he have any suggestions for coping with it?

I'm really sorry about your cat. It's okay to still miss him. Pets end up being family, and losing them is awful.

I hope you're managing to get some sleep. I understand wanting it all to stop, but can you think of anything that could help you feel a little better and give you some respite without doing anything harmful?

[Arienette]

I didn't OD much. I took a few and slept them off. Just to numb myself to it after breaking down in the middle of my floor.

I'm really low this morning. I just want to stay in bed and OD mini again, but I'm going to try and drag my bum out the door for a run to se pe if it helps.

I see my support worker later and I messaged my group therapist asking for a 1-1 because I'm struggling with my mood and stuff.

I just want to curl up and wait for it all to pass in an out of it state.

[~SuNsHiNe~]

Please look after yourself. Hope you can get through it without hurting yourself, keep talking to us *hugs*

[Arienette]

My cc phoned. I contacted my therapist about it and am having a 1-2 on Monday.

She contacted my cc who phoned me and I told her.

I've had my extra meds taken off me and my support worker is throwing them away.

We had a1-1 talk and she said I need to talk to staff more when I feel like that

Now I just want to ligature but my friend is over.

I feel so bad. I've been crying loads.

X

[Ballerina123]

Hugs
I'm sorry you feel so bad.
Wish I could make you feel better.

Message me anytime xx

[Arienette]

Thanks.

I can't believe I'm hearing voices again. Like what?!?!

I hate this. I just want to know what's going on.

I see my therapist on Monday at least.

Xx

[Arienette]

i had a good day, a bad morning but i pulled it back and a nice day,

then i come home, and not quite bam, but for an hour or so i've been hearing voices laughing at me.

i don't know what to do about it.

[Ballerina123]

Can you listen to music or an audio book for the voices?