Why can't we swear? Is there a reason, is it just the way that Harley built V3?
I guess that, to me, swearing is a mark of expression, and on a website that encourages expression (to an extent) and contains adult content, it seems weird not being allowed to swear. Plus, I personally think that it looks pathetic when people say 'f*ck' or 'sh*t' rather than **** or **** - if you're going to use it to be expressive, be expressive rather than trying to show that you know adult words (personal view, apologies).
I dunno, I just don't get why swearing is an issue? We could run with the younger age people line, again, but in that case why is there an adult tag rather than an adult board with proof-of-age entry?
I love swearing. In moderation, usually. I think what I like about it most is that, used infrequently and with good timing, it can add a lot to a conversation :D
I don't tend (not by decision, just by nature) to swear on the boards that don't allow the full swearword, but if I were to, sometimes there is importance of a specific swearword to me, so I might just use the one asterix.
I guess if it's making a point, it's important - and now you've said that, Laura, I kinda understand that. But for the most part, it just seems somewhat immature (as if to say 'I know how to swear so I'm gonna swear but I'm gonna make it clear that I know how to swear so I'm only going to hide one letter).
I just think that it's a healthy part of conversation, to swear every now and again. Swear words can be important, in context, and can add to the emphasis or point you're trying to make. They obvs aren't essential, but then we don't only use essential words to make a point.
i have "issues" with swearing... even when a few letters are *ed out it makes me cringe... but I am curious as to why some are banned and others are not :/ seems a bit inconsistent lol
Swearing is a bit vulgar, but regardless I don't think it encourages much expression at all.
To me, it's just natural language, and I don't see why we should discourage that, or indeed why swearing is perceived to be a bad thing? (but saying that, I'm also one of those pain in the bums who believe that as soon as you make a word a taboo, it gives that word far more meaning and power than it should have)
If you don't mind my asking, why don't you like swearing?
Last edited by Dreaming. : 14-02-2011 at 08:51 AM.
(Weren't you part of the "lets beta test v3" crew jo?)
Last edited by Freedom Fighter : 14-02-2011 at 02:00 AM.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
I think along the line of some are banned/some are not, it's more that most are banned in some forums (general ones perhaps) and then some are allowed in the more expressive boards like ranting and maybe serious, I don't know, I can't recall where it actually is allowed.
It's changeable, though. But it did arise from, as Tom has said, the forum testing and early discussions.
I curse, and I also do use the *'s when forums other than R&V don't allow cursing, for example, when I'm angry or upset with a certain situation, particularly when giving support to others, I do remember saying things like "they're f*king idiots" to people who's professionals/friends/family members have done something that is unprofessional/hurtful/ignorant, etc.
I'm more likely to & have done the above in regards to my Fiancée's situation(obviously), & I've seen a lot of other people do the same.
I don't get annoyed by the *'s, if it's used in moderation that is.
A star shows what you do want to say but are restricted in saying, and if you say the full word, all of the stars will show, which if you get annoyed by them, then that will annoy you even more?
I don't think it's a case of "'I know how to swear so I'm gonna swear but I'm gonna make it clear that I know how to swear so I'm only going to hide one letter" - It, to me, can be seen as making what you say more expressive, showing you really are upset/angry etc, whether it's in the R&V forum or otherwise.
I do curse a lot though, however I don't like it when people swear all the time, that can be very annoying and it may also lose it's effectiveness, but when angry, upset etc, I think cursing can help in expressing feelings like that, & personally, it does help me feel better too, but that's just my personal opinion.
[Sorry it's so long! I tend to go on & on to try to make sure others don't get the wrong idea about what I'm saying.]
To me, it's just natural language, and I don't see why we should discourage that, or indeed why swearing is perceived to be a bad thing? (but saying that, I'm also one of those pain in the bums who believe that as soon as you make a word a taboo, it gives that word far more meaning and power than it should have)
True :D
And yeah, as long as it isn't used to excess then I think it's a form of language and is greater expression.
The thing that amuses me is sh-it doesn't show up but bullshit does.. I'm sure it's just the way the programming is done in regards to swearing. But there's no way around fu-ck, even adding an extra letter in. It feels a bit childish really. I know most forums I've been on won't allow the big bad c word, but I think that's mostly due to the people who serve the forums, not the webbies and suchlike.
Still, I don't see swearing as a big deal, and think we should be allowed to. Personal opinion though. The words are only as bad as the meaning you put on them.
With regards to the younger ones- they probably know more swear words than I do anyway.
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain.
That's true about the younger members, I know when I first went on forums at 12-13 yrs old(not this one), I was swearing A LOT more than I do now - and in this day & age, I think younger people are more likely to know a variety of cursing words, & use them frequently.
I tend to use swearwords universally, I know what you mean about a lot of particularly vulgar and derogatory words being used towards women, so I think when I swear (although anything vulgar I do say is directed at myself, I do think it's incredibly disrespectful to swear at someone) any word can be used with regards to any gender.
I respect that you find swearing unpleasant though; I know often when I'm lying in bed at night and hear people walk up the street outside shouting strings of expletives, I don't like it.
Now see, I would be offended if anyone responded to a thread I posted for support and called my friends or family "f*cking idiots" because of something they'd done. As a general rule I don't use words like that to describe people and if someone else did, especially if they were describing a person I cared about, I would be fairly riled up.
I make sure it is okay to say things like that before actually posting things of that nature, but most of the time, it's to people who I'm close to, and of situations I know about, and where they themselves call the person/people in question "f*king idiots", and others do as well, they have had no problem with others saying so, which leads me to believe I can freely express my opinion about the treatment they've had from others - and to be honest, if I think that they are acting in that way & in other ways & other names I can think of calling them, which I can think of many especially regarding my Fiancée's "family" & "friends", I will say as much, whether it be on here or elsewhere, I will be honest & blunt with how I think people are treating my friends, and especially my girl.
I've had no problems arise from saying such things, & they don't appear "riled up" about me saying things of that nature, or others saying those things either, and even agree with me/others. So. Yeah.
Please don't assume I'd just go around to any odd person & simply say things like that & say no further.
I'm more likely to be that vulgar with people I am close to and who I have feelings of care for, or love in the case with my girl.
Either way.
If someone had a problem with me saying such things, I would apologize that I upset them & state that's just my take on the situation, & say no further on that subject - this hasn't happened yet though, and I doubt it will in the near future because, well, re above.
If someone had a problem with me saying such things, I would apologize that I upset them & state that's just my take on the situation, & say no further on that subject - this hasn't happened yet though, and I doubt it will in the near future because, well, re above.
How do you know though that someone is not offended by what you say on a forum? Yeah you might be "close" but even more to not tell someone that they found what you wrote as offensive..
wth this guy I was close to he said some right stuff half the time and coz we were "close" I didn't say anything...
if my best mates who used to be on this site go Your father is a F*cking idiot. I really would take offence because he is my dad whether I like it or lump it. And parents/friends sometimes do not understand the full concept of self harm/ED.
I am now not going to use this account as my main one from now on.
If you want my new account PM me. xxx
I don't fully understand the point/need for swearing... maybe because I hardly ever do it myself and most people I know don't either around me after they saqw my reaction the first few times they did, but really I don't see why being unable to is a big deal... there are other ways to express annoyance (or whatever) surely?
I may just be biased here due to my own dislike for swear words so if I am being slow/dense just let me know:P
In school, especially in sixth form, we were told off if we were swearing for swearing's sake - but we were allowed and encouraged to do it if it were to add to the discussion. Obvs. a rule like that would be totally unenforceable, and I wouldn't want that rule anyway, but it seemed to make sense in school, and was good for developing language skills. We certainly didn't rely on it, but it was a part of language just as any other word is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yourockmysocks
Sure, maybe swear words do help release a bit of frustration sometimes. But in conversation they add very little. Why risk offending someone if it's just as easy not to?
With the exception of Hazel, who I know has personal feelings about swear words which comes down to her own experience, I guess I just don't understand how they can be offensive. Obviously some offensive words are offensive, but they are so because they're offensive rather than because they're swear words - so saying the N word isn't offensive because it's a swear word, it's offensive because it's an offensive word that happens to be used to swear sometimes. Bad example, but hoping you get what I mean?
As for adding to conversation, this is where I'd disagree with you. I think banning words does far more to limiting conversation than allowing swear words does. I'm not saying that everybody should use a swear word every other word like Trainspotting, but to allow them into conversation every now and again can be expressive. It's more than just releasing frustration, too - why did you write 'a bit of', 'very' and 'just as' in your post there? It was clear what your point was, so why did you use those terms? They aren't essential, just as swearing is totally not essential, and I completely understand that some people don't like these words. But then, as has been discussed earlier here, it seems unfair to outlaw something just because a minority don't approve of it.
Tom and Aimee - I don't know. I definitely don't remember these conversations, but I may well have been a part of them. I think I came quite late into the V3 discussion though.
Also, I don't think I'd be cool with anybody saying that my dad was a '****ing idiot' - but in saying that, I'm not cool with somebody insulting my dad, whether or not they use swearing. The swearing is irrelevant there, it's the insult that's the problem; there needs to be that distinction in language.
On a practical note, I started this thread primarily because I am genuinely interested in the thought process behind the idea of censoring swear words, because I'm just not sure I get it and am keen to understand why they are banned.
I don't have an issue with swearing, it conveys someone's thoughts. My thoughts can come out of me as a running commentary when I have ranted in the past. Take out the swearing and I am not expressing my true thoughts.
I see no NEED for swearing so to speak, but I equally see no problem with it either, if that's the word you choose to use, you should be aloud to use it, its not harmful unless directed at someone else.
How do you know though that someone is not offended by what you say on a forum? Yeah you might be "close" but even more to not tell someone that they found what you wrote as offensive..
wth this guy I was close to he said some right stuff half the time and coz we were "close" I didn't say anything...
if my best mates who used to be on this site go Your father is a F*cking idiot. I really would take offence because he is my dad whether I like it or lump it. And parents/friends sometimes do not understand the full concept of self harm/ED.
Long ass ramble.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : long ramble. -.-
If I was judging a situation say for example on neglect from parents, or someone who is abusive to them, whether it is through ignorance or otherwise(being ignorant to mental health problems/medical health problems etc is no excuse & I still find it ... disgusting in how people can behave&act with that), then I would say they are "so and so", & explain my reasons for that opinion, as well as offer support & such.
I wouldn't just come along&say "Oh your father is a f*king idiot" - & say nothing else.
If they are offended by it, then they are in turn responsible for telling me that to avoid future offence if it is repeated, they can either reply saying so, or message me privately about it - but at the end of the day, I am not responsible if they are not willing to say they were offended, how could I know & put things in place if they won't tell me?
Not my place to do so.
If people were not to tell me, then I'm afraid what I said that offended them, I would most likely repeat in the future.
So far, like I have said, I mostly only stick to saying such things about close friends & my Fiancée's situations with people who hurt them/attack them/upset them, etc etc, which they have agreed in what I consider their "friends" or/and "family" to be with their actions and behaviour towards them, and when speaking with me, they do express many curse words with how they feel about certain people - & I most of the time do agree with those words too.
Friends come first for me, and my Fiancée comes before anything, so I suppose she comes first first...
and if I think that the people around them or people they interact with are being sh!ts, I'll say as much, but I don't just leave it at that, I do also offer support & comfort & advice in dealing with people who act/behave awfully towards them.
But I do also have my own personal opinion on the situation too, and I will share it.
If it isn't wanted, so be it, but I'm not responsible for them to choose to tell me if they are upset with what I have said, that is their responsibility, I can't mind read, and as far as I know in that case, as well as others who say vulgar things to that person, it's acceptable to that person & may even possibly be how they feel about the people/person in question that the vulgar language has been spoken about - in my perception of the situation if I was not told what I said offended them.
I ramble.
& I probably said that in so many ways there, but yes, getting it across as much as I can right now as my mind is like a muddled puzzle, so, yes, trying to get what I want to say "right".
I do actually think this is getting to be just a tad ridiculous thread(got those words from another friend too, ha, she gave me an idea - to further ramble about something).
Some people swear. Some don't. Some like to swear. Some are in between. Some don't like swearing at all. Some feel they are expressing themselves better when cursing. Some don't find that they experience that kind of thing. etc, etc, could go on & on about this, but I'll stop there.
Everyone is going to be different with the subject of swearing.
In the end, I wasn't aware that this was going to be some sort of debating thread over cursing... or people nit picking at what others have said.
So, I'll ask, what exactly would you like done here Dreaming.?
