sorry stress has boiled over now..i dont mean to lose it just wanted to ask a simple question and it turns into a big thing and somehow i dont feel anymore. *sigh* but hey maybe i'm just being oversensitive now
Just to clarify for the million and oneth time- all I am advocating that where possible try to develop a sensitivity and awareness that other people feel differently than you. That people may not feel that things roll down their back.
The ginger card- I saw it as a mother protecting her kids from a very real threat- which from my links before is perpetuated by ignorance. A sitcom for goodness knows what reason has an episode about kick a ginger day for entertainment. A kid watches this and starts a Facebook group to prepare for kick a ginger day. Kids join and then go to school on said day and physically attack the red heads at the school in acknowledgement......
I guess I know that I unfortunately come from a different perspective. But I am happy to inform you who actually care that there are actually ways to be aware of others in mental distress on a daily basis, and be aware of people being discriminated against and act to put things right.
I didn't actually get ginger day/ ginger rage.......uh my hair not ginger- but I have experienced many forms of racism, bullying, discrimination- and thank God, have friends and adults over the course of my life who didn't let me get away with statements and belief systems that hurt other people. Some I still have- but at least I know that I don't have a right to hurt another person because they are different.
The vignette wasn't meant to be harsh- but the original story shocked me so much that I have risked my life and reputation several times because I know that I don't want to die knowing I could have done something to stop ignorance from gaining momentum as in the Kick a Ginger Day.
Not saying Tesco shouldn't have sold it- it is corny. But I am sooooo proud of what that mom did. I think she would be the one I would want next to me if I was some of you guys who have experienced attacks. She is brave and we need more people like that so that you don't put on that facade/ show of indifference.
Last edited by bitomato : 18-12-2009 at 11:32 PM.
Reason: Because everyone is mad at me
~Happy tomatoes together we will be~
You say toe- may- toe, I say toe- mah- toe:
Let's call the whole thing- red
“It’s time to lead the third revolution, which is not to say we want to be at the top of the world, but to say we want to change the world. Because the way the world has been designed by men is not working. It’s not working for women, it’s not working for men,
it’s not working for polar bears.” Arianna Huffington 2014
There's a person on MSN who I don't want to name, well she keeps asking who I am and won't acknowledge that we've spoken before. She asked me my name the other day and I replied, 'Katie, why did you want to know?'
And then she launched into the biggest f*cking rant you've ever seen about how I don't appreciate her and how I'm being mean and hurtful and if I hate her that much why don't I just block her. She said me asking why she wanted to know my name was the most horrible thing anyone's ever done to her.
That's over-sensitive, I only ask why she wanted to know my name. People have reasons, right? For instance, maybe she was from some internet forum and had forgotten me? I didn't mean it to be nasty. God.
Edit:
Just realized that I wrote something that wasn't on the subject! I read the article in the link and I'm not offended by it at all.
x
Last edited by PrincessVegeta_x : 19-12-2009 at 12:04 AM.
"How can I be a gynecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!"
♥
Totally taking thread offline hijacking and then will leave because I am offending everyboday and I am too tired to try to clarify- damage done.............I will continue to put my foot in it up to my knee if you don't mind
Yeah JK tried to delete that crap and the forum logged me out.
I just re read how upset I am making everyone and my point is that I know that this thread was upsetting people who have been bullied because it is like a gateway. I have a concern that some people who are abused tend to become abusers- I am over analytical about most basic things- just bad habit of reading between lines of maybe what isn't there.
I have lived in the UK and I know that it is really hard to be different there. I took a bit of concern from the amount of people that said they had been bullied for their hair and how they laughed it off. It is great to be able to laugh at yourself. But people also do really mean things when they are drunk and in large groups.
Ironically, the discrimination I experienced in the Uk was more subtle and institutionalised and I would otherwise roll my eyes at the card, because it doesn't seem to offend the majority of the people who replied on the thread and to whom it actually attacks.
All I was trying to do was voice my opinion and sensitivity which someone quite rightly pointed out it is an individual choice- and belief that being drunk or in a group would not excuse you from making any worse a decision than on the average day.
My point is that the non drunk but group of teenagers still made a really bad decision in the States and the Facebook adults and teachers didn't see it coming. Blamed the kids and Southpark.
I am sorry that my links offended people so much. I didn't blink at some of the discrimination I experienced in York- other people had to tell me that was what it was. I just thought it was ignorant of them. But the thing is they are still ignorant because I never confronted them. And it was scary because it is not just York or the UK, the whole world can be just as ignorant.
And happier so apparently- and maybe I could learn something from you- and this time I mean you on this thread.
I do take myself so seriously so I am sorry that my comments evoked such an emotional response.
So I had the thread controls back to you- sorry again.
Last edited by bitomato : 18-12-2009 at 11:40 PM.
Reason: Trying to edit for some save of face
~Happy tomatoes together we will be~
You say toe- may- toe, I say toe- mah- toe:
Let's call the whole thing- red
“It’s time to lead the third revolution, which is not to say we want to be at the top of the world, but to say we want to change the world. Because the way the world has been designed by men is not working. It’s not working for women, it’s not working for men,
it’s not working for polar bears.” Arianna Huffington 2014
I still don't get what the idea of this "yob, binge drinking" culture has to do with it, or how it's the most prominent factor in bullying over appearance, etc. I really can't see what you're getting at, at all
I thought it was a bit funny :/ I dont think it shouldve been pulled because a couple of people complained.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I think that a group of people are getting way to easily offended while the other side of people are hating this and not caring no matter how offensive it is. Turning more black and white instead of just steadily grey.
"It is possible to make no mistakes and lose. That is not failure; that is life."
-Cpt. Jean-Luc Picard
I realise that this thread has brought up a sensitive issue for some people on RYL, but I really dont want to see this thread locked or removed because it was causing offence and people were getting upset by it.
If everyone can take a bit of extra care to be sensitive towards the feelings of people who are bothered by this issue .... and if those people who are upset by this thread, can try not to read insults or offence in other RYLers' replies if its not obviously stated, and perhaps to avoid this thread if it really is a triggering issue for you, then hopefully this thread will be allowed to remain active.
thanks everyone!
Shall I save up a hug each day until i next see you? :P
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I do believe she was being WAY oversensitive. People need to learn not to take themselves so seriously. It's destructive. It's easier to accept your imperfections hen making fun of it with people who just don't care but accept you for who you are. And all the rest can go **** themselves. There will always be someone who will have something negative to say and we need to learn to disregard it and not to let it affect our self-esteem.
And how flippin' boring and depressing would life be without humour...it's already depressing enough when you really get to thinking about it...
I mean there are extremes, but minor jokes like these don't hurt anyone... and if they do they need to toughen up, for their ow sake.
Sarah: Give me the child.
Jareth: Sarah beware. I have been generous up till now. I can be cruel.
Sarah: Generous? What have you done that's generous?
Jareth: Everything! Everything you have wanted I have done. You asked the child be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?
there are different types of humour... some people cannot laugh at thereselves. I know for me laughing at myself would actually be destructiv as others inside would take it personally and lash out at others or the body... (though I know I'm a rare/extreme case).
When a person has been bullied or verbally abused past their ability to cope they can become "sensitive"... this card could have stired up all sorts of memories for this woman, you don't know. None of us know, so in reality none of us can really judge. I know for me there are certain words within the english language tthat can trigger me, many triggers to many people can seem really small or usual to others, sometimes they can be nearly impossible to understand. This woman may have seen this card and had the memories and feelings of years of bullying resurface, people heal at different rates, she could easily be still suffering from her past, and at the same time trying to protect her children
i have such a strong opinion on this. political correctness to me is one of the stupidest most ill conceived way to protect children/people from being discriminated against. if you teach children that calling a person a ginger is wrong they will identify with this and believe that something is wrong with red-headed people.
seriously all it does is draw more lines between me and someone else. a real life example for me was once whilst catching a packed bus with my mate (who is black) and he got the last seat. i laughed and called him a black bastard for getting the last seat. within seconds i had an older black lady ranting and raving at me calling me a racist white man just like my father and his dad before him. i have absolutely no sympathy for people like her. im sure in her life her opinion of white males may have been deserved but if you are going to judge my comments on youre experience with someone else you had better have a damned good reason.
if i call you black and you take offense to it then its your own fault, but if i call someone white and its doesnt bother you, all thats show is that you, yourself are racist, and that you believe in an inequality between races perpetuating the same god damn thing you are raging against. if i call you a ginger and you are you had better get used to it, because to me that isnt racist/discriminatory, to me thats general smack talk that comes from interacting with each other. its only when you make the distinction between black/ginger/female being unacceptable that this actually matters. everybody is different form everybody else and untill people accept this things will never be equal between the sexes, races and just general people in society.
i have such a strong opinion on this. political correctness to me is one of the stupidest most ill conceived way to protect children/people from being discriminated against. if you teach children that calling a person a ginger is wrong they will identify with this and believe that something is wrong with red-headed people.
seriously all it does is draw more lines between me and someone else. a real life example for me was once whilst catching a packed bus with my mate (who is black) and he got the last seat. i laughed and called him a black bastard for getting the last seat. within seconds i had an older black lady ranting and raving at me calling me a racist white man just like my father and his dad before him. i have absolutely no sympathy for people like her. im sure in her life her opinion of white males may have been deserved but if you are going to judge my comments on youre experience with someone else you had better have a damned good reason.
if i call you black and you take offense to it then its your own fault, but if i call someone white and its doesnt bother you, all thats show is that you, yourself are racist, and that you believe in an inequality between races perpetuating the same god damn thing you are raging against. if i call you a ginger and you are you had better get used to it, because to me that isnt racist/discriminatory, to me thats general smack talk that comes from interacting with each other. its only when you make the distinction between black/ginger/female being unacceptable that this actually matters. everybody is different form everybody else and untill people accept this things will never be equal between the sexes, races and just general people in society.
i have such a strong opinion on this. political correctness to me is one of the stupidest most ill conceived way to protect children/people from being discriminated against. if you teach children that calling a person a ginger is wrong they will identify with this and believe that something is wrong with red-headed people.
seriously all it does is draw more lines between me and someone else. a real life example for me was once whilst catching a packed bus with my mate (who is black) and he got the last seat. i laughed and called him a black bastard for getting the last seat. within seconds i had an older black lady ranting and raving at me calling me a racist white man just like my father and his dad before him. i have absolutely no sympathy for people like her. im sure in her life her opinion of white males may have been deserved but if you are going to judge my comments on youre experience with someone else you had better have a damned good reason.
if i call you black and you take offense to it then its your own fault, but if i call someone white and its doesnt bother you, all thats show is that you, yourself are racist, and that you believe in an inequality between races perpetuating the same god damn thing you are raging against. if i call you a ginger and you are you had better get used to it, because to me that isnt racist/discriminatory, to me thats general smack talk that comes from interacting with each other. its only when you make the distinction between black/ginger/female being unacceptable that this actually matters. everybody is different form everybody else and untill people accept this things will never be equal between the sexes, races and just general people in society.
I'm confused by this. For one, the card was actually giving a negative message about "ginger kids". So it was already putting it out there, where the child's hair colour shouldn't have come into it at all.
Also... why would you refer to someone's race at all? Why would you call someone "black"? It seems like a really... I can't think of the word... one-dimensional way to view someone. It flummoxes me completely. Surely the way to get rid of the divide between races, hair colour and the like is to not focus on it at all.
I'm glad the card got onto the news. Because, otherwise, the debate would never have begun.
