Are you back?

[xxjuliexx]

Are you back?
Or did you just never really leave?
Is it going to be like last time?
Are you going to make me sad?

I really don't want you to be back,
But you know, in a stupid way that I don't understand, i missed you.
You see what I've become while you've been gone.
i've been happy and "healthy"

why are you here?


I feel like it's back I feel like she's back. I feel like I did when I was young and I threw my lunch in the bin. I feel like I did when I was a teenager and I never went to lunch and only went to breakfast because they had me on the "to be ticked off list" the "make sure she's at meals list" (I was at boarding school) I feel like I did was I got back for japan on our big class trip and freaked out wen I was how heavy I was.

why is she back....
well I know why she's back because I had that freak out moment again because I am the heaviest I have ever been and even tho my bmi says i'm over weight I know in my logical mind that I'm only just over and if I am sensible about it I can get back to "average"/"healthy" and yet here she is....

i don't no why i said all this i just had to get it out and yea...

[Pi.R^2]

Hey there,
Sorry to hear you're being troubled by ED thoughts again. Keep thinking of all the crap stuff that comes with EDs and how good health and happiness feels. It's not worth throwing that away, even though the ED thoughts can seem so tempting.
Is there anyone close to you who could give you some support at the moment to keep you from slipping back into bad habits?

Take care.

[xxjuliexx]

i recently moved out of home and to a new country, i have a friend from here on facebook that i can talk to but thats really it and i have you guys :).
i know all the bad stuff that come with a ED.
and i dont want those feelings but...

[Pi.R^2]

but what?

What about seeking help from a medical professional in your new country?

[shadow-light]

as has been said can you look into how to get medical treatment where you live now? Or maybe look into some support groups and things?

[xxjuliexx]

i live on a little island in aussie because i'm not a aussie (i'm a kiwi) i think treatment would be expensive and difficult to get and i dont think there r any support groups near here, which sucks.
i'm just trying to push myself each day to eat right

the problem i'm having is this war in my head one side saying "you're over weight and your BMI is to high so you should restricted" and the other side saying "yes we are a tiny bit over but restricting is horrible and makes us so tired and it's a terrible idea"

[Pi.R^2]

I would listen to that other side if I were you, the side that's reminding you of all the negatives of restricting!

How are things going? Are you settling into your new home/country OK?