I've been looking through loads of sh sites and I'm getting very mixed ideas and opinions about sh.
Some people say self harm was the worst thing they ever did, they regret ever starting it and pretty much hate themselves for it. They're ashamed of their scars and cover up at all times.
But others say what they've done has made them stronger and put things into better perspective. I even saw one site which was pro scar saying "scars are sexy". They don't seem to feel any shame or self consciousness over their sh and are not making any effort to keep it that secret.
Personally, if I had to choose one side it would be the first... but what does everyone else feel?
I think, for me, anyway, it's a bit of both. I hate self harm, and that I've had to resort to this horrible method of coping, but at the same time, it's helped, it's got me through tough times, and the scars are terrible, and a complete inconvenience a lot of the time, but they do help to remind me that I don't want to do this anymore, I'm pretty sure I'd still be SI'ing far worse if it wasn't for the scars and not wanting anymore. They help to validate my feelings, like, whilst they are there, I know that what I've put up with hasn't just been a big over exaggeration in my head, I'd still rather have a positive reminder, like a tattoo or whatever, but I've just got to learn to live with them.
Sorry for the essay, I'm in a rambling mood, not even sure if I make sense to anyone else but me.
I'm not ashamed of them... I don't really see why I should be *shrugs* I mean I do hate them: thay're annoying, the hurt, they itch, they rub against clothing and get sore, etc. but I'm not ashamed of them, I don't go out of my way to hide them. I don't go about pointing them out either, but I don't chose my clothing according to what would hide them.
In a way I wish I hadn't started, but on the other hand there are points where I honestly believe that it kept me alive, was a lesser of 2 evils I guess.
If someone comes up to me and asks about my sacrs I will be honest to them about it. But if someone doesn't ask or whatever I would never bring up the topic myself. I did used to go round schools and give talks of mental health and abuse though, and when doing them I wouldn't hide them as I wanted people to know the reality of selfharm.
To be honest to only scars I am honestly ashamed of and will hide no matter what are ones that were not caused by myself. Ones caused by others who hurt me I am ashamed of, but ones caused by myself I am not. Some people say that I have that backwards but I don't think so, I think that in reality I shouldn't feel ashamed of any of my scars, just the abuse scars are taking longer than the selfharm ones to accept
My scars are a part of me. Self-harming has kept me alive and serves a purpose (I do it very rarely now). I used to feel terribly ashamed about my scars, but it got to the point where they stopped me doing things I enjoyed. I now swim and wear short sleeves in the Summer. If people have a problem with them then that's their problem, not mine. I am no longer ashamed, but neither am I proud. I have just accepted that they are there, they are not going to go away, and I need to learn to live my life regardless of the fact that they are there. I would never show fresh wounds however.
There's one opinion for you
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
I dont think SH's the worst thing i ever did, i dont like the fact that its happened but you cant change it. I dont hate myself because of it, ive got other reasons for that.
The scars are a pain and i cover up all the time but im not sure id take them back if i could. The thought of having more scars has never stopped me doing it, i just dont care anymore. Ive sort of gone past caring about all of it to be honest, i dont regret it but i dont show it off either. Its just my secret.
I'm a bit mixed I suppose. I wish I hadn't started self harming, but it did help me through a tough period of my life. I'm left permanently scarred, but they are reminders that I survived. I still am very wary of showing my scars in public even though I haven't self harmed for coming up to two years.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
A little of both I guess, but at the same time not much of either. I regret starting because it's hard to deal with, but at the same time I don't feel that ashamed of it. Or at least, I know I shouldn't feel ashamed of it :P However, I feel condoning scars/self injury is stupid, and feeds the whole idea that people who injure themselves are looking for attention.
Personally, I'm a bit of both - I'm definatley not ashamed of my scars and I do feel like they've made me a stronger person, but at the same time I want my scars to fade so I won't have the life-long reminders of who I used to be.
I hate them, and myself, for ever starting it in the first place.
Yet it has also kept me alive.
About covering up: It depends, really.
I've got some awfully obvious, colored ones I cover up at all times, avoid swimming due to them, etc. Though the less obvious ones I do show, especially if it's bloody hot and I just want to enjoy the summer in a t-shirt or whatever, and people (Not even my family so far) have never noticed them :)
Tell me that past times won't die.
Tell me that old lies are alive.
I don't regret SH any more than I'd regret getting drunk as a way of drowning my sorrows; what I do hate is the affect it has on my family & friends. Despite the fact I don't regret it I would have prefered it if I'd used a different coping mechanism.
The only times I'd make an effort to hide my scars is when I go for a job interview, just started a new job & if another self harmer asked me to cover up as they were finding my scars triggering. Apart from that I don't see the need to cover up; they're a part of me just as much as my non-SH scars are & I'm not embarresed/ashamed by them.
I'm pretty open about my SH & don't feel much shame about it at all but I'm not pro-SH & wouldn't recommend it to anybody at all.
I hate the scars, I don't hate the self-harm but that is purely because my mind is messed up in such a way. I think the thing I dislike about self-harm is, like others have said, how it hurts other people. It does prevent you from talking to people and is, quite honestly, a dangerous coping mechanism because of what it can lead to. It can solidify your thoughts and make you struggle more.
I have mixed feelings about my scars / self-harming.
Sometimes I can feel very ashamed of them and the reasons they got there. I constantly have to hide and it makes the simplest things so difficult. Even trying to find nice tops to wear gets me down because of my scars. They've made me secretive and deceitful and I'm embarrassed about how little I can avoid doing it. To me, they're a sign that tells other people I'm weak.
But saying all that, without them I wouldn't be here today. Self-harming has literally, kept me alive. So in that sense, I could be almost, grateful for them? There has been some days that I don't care about them or I can look past them but mostly, I don't really like them. But on the other hand, I'd be devastated if they started to fade..
I don't regret starting though. Not for one minute.
I probably just rambled about nothing but that was my opinion on them. (:
I'm upset that I have my scars and how extensively my self harm went over my body. I attempted to wear shorts in the summer of 09 and got a few stares, but tbh, it felt so nice to have the breeze on my legs that I just brushed it by. I feel that when I was actively self harming it helped, I don't know if I would be here if I wasn't doing that, it kept me alive. Now that I no longer want to hurt myself the scars upset me, but they are a part of me too. I don't feel ashamed about them, in a way the portray just how far I had to go in order to stay in this world, but I would love not to have them. Once my scars from the burns start to fade a bit I will wear shorts again =] I wear short sleeves around my supported housing and at my dads/when friends come round to mine but it feels scary wearing short sleeves outside in public. I think it's easier to have my legs on show as they are further away from my head - if people were looking at my arms then yeah, just don't like being seen outside in general, but thats something else.
I used to be proud of my scars, they were proof of how 'powerful' I could be in terms of doing what I did to my body and my personal relationship with self harm. I'm at the stage now where I am trying to accept what I've done and can realise what I was actually doing and how cruel it was to treat myself in that way.
Have decided though that in the summer at my gardening course (it's run by mind) I will wear short sleeves and shorts. These are going to be with me for the rest of my life and I can't be excruciatingly hot every summer for the rest of my life.
I think though, if you were to go into a nursery or with young children it should be covered. Just they are too young to be exposed to this and for me, I would find it hard explaining.
Thats my thoughts anyway and where I am at with my scars.
sticks and stones may break your bones but words can tear your heart out.
i'm not ashamed of them. they are a part of me. but i do regret starting self harm.on a good day a scar reminds me how far i've come, on a bad day it triggers me. but i dont like them.
i managed to keep clear for about 2 weeks so my scars arent to obvios and i feel relatively comfortable wearing short sleeves etc. but its not so much the scars themselves that make me want to cover up, more peoples reaction : either taunting or worse the hurt it causes the people i love.
so im not proud, but i do want people to know self harm shouldnt be taboo. but most all i dont want to hurt anyone who isn't me. hope that made some sense.
jen x
i am a bit embarassed of my scars at time, but, at others i don't mind so much. i try to hide them so nobody asks... idk :/
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
The scars are, on their own and just shown to me, okay I guess. I like them some days. Sometimes it's just… comforting to have them. I admit I even have one I like the look of.
BUT the idea of showing someone, for me, is mortifying. Scars… they are personal. It's like, if someone sees my scars and knows I SI they'll know not every thing's okay. And there's also the shame of how pathetic it is to cut instead of just… dealing with it. It's not right, but that's how it feels. And what if people see them, and the scars are just pathetic. Like, they're not that deep and there's not that many of them and I don't really have problems - not like other folks - and yet I cut… so I guess I'm not at all okay with showing my scars to any one because I have yet to accept why I cut and that I cut… so I guess until then I won't be okay with my scars.
I would like to get to a point where I am comfortable showing my scars at least some of the time, but on a personal-opinion note, I don't think scars should be shown to children.
This was a good thing for me to answer. Glad you asked and glad I thought about it. :)
Silence can be golden but gold can sometimes suffocate
Like that girl in that James Bond film, too late to respirate
Tragedy can be plain to see with lights and sirens
But sometimes it ain't quite so clear, Domestic Silence
~Scroobius Pip
I'm more towards the 'This is proof that I survived' side. However I often wonder if it depends on if you know why you did it in the first place. My SH is more about keeping me alive than anything :/
I hate it. It is the worst thing that I have ever discovered as a coping method. Its a temporary solution for me.
I don't put my scars on show for people because I don't like people making assumptions about me based on y scars alone. But the things I went through when I got them, Those things have made me a bigger, better and stronger person. Each one of my scars tells a story of something I survived, that I shouldn't have had to endure in the first place. and For that. I like them. They show ME I am a survivor and a fighter.
From Nymph to Dragonfly, I know my place.
Call me Bee. =) Like it or Lump it.
‘Cause the passion and pain are gonna keep you alive someday
but I don't think so, I think that in reality I shouldn't feel ashamed of any of my scars, just the abuse scars are taking longer than the selfharm ones to accept
