Found out at my dating scan at 11 1/2 weeks that the baby died at 9 weeks.
I'm not really sure what to say to be honest. i have made a video on youtube in memory of out angel and that can be found if you search : For our angel xxx
That's a really nice idea.
I often wish I had made some sort of memorial, as I don't really own anything now from that time....
Quote:
I called for help, the doctors could do nothing.
They still don't know what happened to her.
I can't help but feeling somehow responsible, if I hadn't done this or that, I would still have her.
But I don't.
I can pritty much promise that it will not have been your fault, unfortuantly these things just happen sometimes...
I can relate to a degree... My daughter was born prematurely, but alive. She lived for just under 3 hours before dying...
I'm so sorry for what happened Emily123, I can't begin to imagine how that must have felt. I'm sure she would have been so happy that you kept her and were holding her at the end.
Hazel, you don't really need things, I don't think. you could draw a picture or write a poem.. and i'm sure you have things that remind you of being pregnant :)
really missing emily/james at the moment.. a lot of anniversaries coming up :(
man am I relieved to find this thread! I had a miscarriage in Feburary this year and our due date is actually a couple of weeks from now I find it very hard to deal with and am currently having counselling but unfortuantely the counselling doesnt happen too often. It has all led to a relapse in my SH but know I will come out of this at some point Ok.
Hope its okay to post on here, I haven't actually had a misscarriage myself, but my mum has had 3. The last one was in May, and I had to deal with it.
Sorry if this upsets people. My mum rang me in the evening saying she had bad pains like labour pains, she didn't know if she was pregnant but thought she could be. I had no idea. I took her to A and E where we found out she was pregnant, probably about 6 weeks. They sent us home. I promptly drove my mum round to maternity, and she was given a scan.
There on the screen was the baby, alive, heart beating, my mum was in tears. Minutes later she misscarried, a perfect, beautiful little girl. She was 16-18 weeks. I saw my tiny sister die and it was horrific.
I haven't come to terms with it yet and I believe it may be what has triggered my recent SI problems. I named the baby Grace, my mum chose Mary, so she is Mary Grace.
I made a book, with photo's of her, pictures, poems, prayers, and letters to the baby. I can't begin to explain how I felt, it wasn't even my baby - I didn't even know there was a baby till it was too late.
I understand some of your pain, and I don;t know what I can do, but I am willing to support in any way I can. This is a serious issue and people don't realise how badly we are affected by the loss of a child.
I just wanted to add. I have lost a baby, but nothing too hard on me.
I post here because my mum lost twins at 5 months pregnant.
I miss them til this day.
x
thank you, Lily, for saving mummy's life*.
You are my one and only, you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight, and you'll be alright.
I had a miscarriage 5 years ago. Before I knew I was pregnant. I suspected it though. I then blocked the whole thing out (with everything else that was going on) and it was only at the start of the year I started to deal with it really.
To help me deal with it, I decided she was a girl caleld her Katie. She's my wee angel in the sky now. I miss her very very very much. I hate the anniversairy that she was concvied on, as it was through the r word *shudders* and I'm not particularly looking forward to 22nd November. Would have been her 5th birthday this time round. Well it will be, she's just not here to celberate it.
This year is first time I'm having to deal with, not sure what I'll do on her birthday yet. Started writing a letter, found it hard. One of my best friends has promised to be with me via msn etc. She's an absloute star. She knows what it's like (going through 5 miscarriages and a cot death herself).
I've just been sorting out my computer files, transering them from computer to computer and getting rid of ones I don't need etc... and I've come across a "memorial" I made about a week after Isabelles death... It's basicaly a collection of the pictures of the scans and then a picture of her with all the tubes, etc. attached in hospital with her name written over it...
iv had to miscarriages in 6 months my first was in April when i lost Morgan and my due date would of been the 4th of November witch is really close, and i don't really no if i should do anything for it?
but iv just misscaried agen and i just feel so alone and i hate this feeling, and there are so meny of my friends that are pregnant and i am happy for them but i cant help thinking it isun fair, why cant i have the chance to b a mum. it hurts so much.
I think it was my fault that Isabelle died... when I got to the hospital after going into premature laoure they gave me some drugs to try to stop the labur but it didn't work because it was too late... I culd have been there earlier... I could... and she'd have lived... but I didn 't because I was in an exam and was so determined to finish it and pass it...
had a dream that i had a baby it was horrible, she was a little baby girl and i was at the supermarket with mum and that was where i found out that dad didnt know it was my baby.. that was why i wasnt allowed to spend time with her... my sister had pierced her ears and she wasnt wearing any clothes and she kept crying and she didnt know me
and i was scared patrick wasnt there.. i dont know if he was even still in my life
but i had this.. baby. it wasnt emily though - it didnt feel like her
and there was something about a lift.. when i was in the lift i was on my own so i could pick her up and cuddle her and she was so small
sorry i needed to get that out thankfully i didnt wake up - i just slipped into a dream about the lion king ha
so i didnt have that moment where i woke up and thought i had a baby... but
i dont want to forget the dream but i can feel it slipping away already - i'd forgotten it until i was telling mum about the lion king dream.. i had to walk away and shut my door and cry
sorry
I had a son. I held him for 10 hours before his lungs gave in and he slipped away from me. Mickey was his name. Short for Michael. And everyday lately, I torment his father with his memory. His father doesn't know that Mickey was alive for 10 hours. I was sent into early labor 2 and a half months early, by my father who attacked me, and the doctors said Mickey had been developed enough to survive, if his lungs were a big stronger. It affects me because Mickey opened his eyes while I was holding him, about three hours before he died, and he stared up at me. His eyes were the exact shade of brown as his fathers, and I love his father's eyes so much.
Thinking about this is hard, but its helping, slowly.
I miscarried after being abused repeatedly and forced off contraception.. 2nd November last year.. for quite a while i blocked it out.. it was too painful that i caused the death of a human being.. i refused to admit i was pregnent and things went on in their destructive state and i started bleeding really heavily.. i think it took over a week for it to decrease and eventually stop.. i was so ill and i went round school normally like nothing was going on i never went to the doctors to be checked.. the shame of what i did was too great. Ive only started remembering it or more acknowledging it now and im so devastated.. even though the circumstances that i got pregnent were painful, i now long for it back just because i totally hate myself for doing that! I dont think i will forgive myself for doing that. I'm a murderer and i keep having nightmares about those weeks and im struggling so much to come to terms with it.. i dont know. Sorry just wanted to write it down
"It is not the strength of the body that counts, but the strength of the spirit"
-J.R.R Tolkien
BloodyRainbow - I suffered a similar loss. Though Isabelle was slightly more premature than your son, she survived only 3 hours as her lungs were just not developed enough...
domino_effect - you are not a murderer. misscariages happpen, it's possible that you have nothing to do with it at all.
Have you seen a doctor about it at all? Just asking as miscariages can cause complications which need treatment...
Before Isabelle I lost my son Sam. I attempted suicide while pregnant, was taken to hospital but miscarried that night... so I can really relate to the feelings of guilt and self-blaime... The circumstances of contrispection of both Sam and Isabelle was abusive, no matter how painful that experiance we can still feela connection tot he child and have every right to miss and greive them.
But know that you are not a murderer
I got pregnant whilst on the pill so although I didn't intend to get pregnant, conception happened. I began feeling very motherly during the pregnancy. It wasn't a long pregnancy as my boyfriend insisted I get an abortion. When I was given the first scan (at abortion clinic) my nurse looked odd. I knew something was up but she wouldn't say. I could see the scan but didn't really know what I was looking at. She said she would re-scan me in a couple of weeks. That day I bled a little... I told the nurse who then said I was miscarrying and to go home. I spent 2 weeks isolated in my room miscarrying. I live with a family friend who doesn't disturb me so I just dealt with it all alone. It was painful, horrific and emotionally draining.
I still can't really come to terms with the loss, I killed my baby by taking my pill. It stopped the proper growth resulting in the miscarriage. What was even worst was I buried, what appeared to be the embryo only to find 2 weeks later it had been dug up... It... well... He as I called him had been taken from me. I couldn't protect him in me... I couldn't protect him out of me.
I wish I could have saved them :(
Wilson:Ah yes, if it isn't Doctor "Ironside".
House:Ah, if it isn't Doctor "I Had No Friends When I Was Growing Up, So All I Did Was Watch TV By Myself, Which Is Why I Can Now Make Constant Pop Culture References Which Nobody Understands But Me".
I'm not sure, but it may be helpful for you to know that there is no conclusive evidence indicating that the pill will harm an unborn baby. The hormones in the pill work to prevent pregnancy by stopping ovulation or causing the thickening of cervical mucus, so they have no affect on a developing baby.There is a small amount of evidence suggestiong that the mini-pill while pregnant may have an increased risk of experiencing an esptopic pregnancy, but not a misscariage.
And either way, you had no way to kn ow that you'd gotten pregnant when you were on the pill.
You did not kill your baby, misscariages happen, there is little-nothing you can do about it
I find it very hard to deal with and am currently having counselling but unfortuantely the counselling doesnt happen too often. It has all led to a relapse in my SH but know I will come out of this at some point Ok. 
