All-nighter

Steel Maiden · 20-03-2009, 12:21 AM

I'm doing an all-nighter. The cameras are pointing at me from the neighbour's window. The Voices are keeping me awake. If I can hijack a WiFi connection I will post later. I didn't take my meds tonight. Not allowed because They want to Kill me and I have to be Vigilant. Pretty scared atm. Tired but must stay awake throughout the night.

angel of despair · 20-03-2009, 12:47 AM

hi, can you phone your doctor or anyone, maybe taking ur meds is a good idea? they wont kill u i promise. i hope ur ok, x

Katiee · 20-03-2009, 12:54 AM

Hun, please try and take your meds if you can. I promise they won't kill you. *HUGS* xo.

Pomegranate · 20-03-2009, 12:55 AM

Oly, I think it is really important you call somebody and talk this through instead of staying up all night. I understand you are frightened but staying up and making yourself exhausted will only make you feel worse and will encourage the voices etc. You are ill sweetheart and it is really important that you take your meds. Please take care.

Steel Maiden · 20-03-2009, 01:10 AM

Ty for the posts.

I am seeing my psych at 12 today (as its after midnight now).

I am trying to utilise Logic to tell myself I'll be ok but every time I look out of the window, I see Their cameras.

Besides, I can't go to sleep because the Voices are keeping me awake.

My meds are not light yellow any more. They're an orangey colour. So therefore They have poisoned them.

Pomegranate · 20-03-2009, 01:15 AM

I don't think they have poisoned them. How would anyone know which ones were yours to poison? Could you shut your curtains or something so you can't see out of the window? I am glad you are seeing your psych tomorrow but I still think you need to rest if you can shut off the voices for a while. Could you try and take half a tablet or something just to calm things down?

shadow-light · 20-03-2009, 01:17 AM

could you maybe get someone else to look at your meds? like your mum or someone? so they can make sure that they aren't poisened and are the same colour?

Steel Maiden · 20-03-2009, 01:20 AM

I suppose I could. I will get my Mum to look at my tablets tomorrow. She's fast asleep now - she has insomnia so I can't disturb her while she's getting a rare bit of sleep. She gets really ratty if I wake her up.

I've got my laptop (music videos, games, internet) so I'm occupied.

I'm trying to not look out of the window.

The Voices won't stop screaming. I want to take Haloperidol but They're not letting me!!

I'm sorry I'm so useless. I shouldn't have made this post.

Pomegranate · 20-03-2009, 01:23 AM

You aren't useless! I am glad you made the post, just sorry about not really being sure how to help. I think shadow-light's idea is a good one for tomorrow but I hope you manage to get some rest tonight. Despite what it feels like you are safe.

shadow-light · 20-03-2009, 01:32 AM

maybe you could take like half a tablet as was suggested? it may help, but it may be a small enough amount for the voices to allow?

Steel Maiden · 20-03-2009, 04:21 AM

I am seeing my psych in about 9 hours time. I will tell her about this. The Voices said I can go to sleep at sunrise, so I will get some sleep. I will change meds and after that things'll be a lot better. Thanks.

sherlock holmes · 20-03-2009, 10:16 AM

Hope it goes well today.

Merc · 20-03-2009, 10:29 AM

Hoping it all goes well today. Please let us know how youare ok?
thinking of you
romp

sherlock holmes · 20-03-2009, 08:03 PM

How'd it go?

Steel Maiden · 20-03-2009, 11:15 PM

See my meds change thread: http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ad.php?t=88473

I went to bed at 6am and woke up at 8am. Not feeling tired at all though.

Thanks.