Triggering (SI/Suicide) - Sick Leave

[half rainbow]

I'm so sorry, I've not posted here in ages, and I've not been supporting other people. I feel so so guilty. I really want to be able to help you, but I'm desperate for support too. I'm in such a mess. I've not cut, apart from one slip up in 9 weeks, but I'm desperate to do it. I feel like the longer I go without doing it the worse it's going to get, and the more I'm likely to do it, and cause more damage if I do...

I'm in so much pain. It hurts so much.

My therapist got the doctor to sign me off sick for two weeks from work. Thats nearly through and i'm no where near ready to go back, and saw him tonight, and he's getting me to take another two weeks off. I feel so guilty about taking the time off. I feel like such a fraud. I'm not really ill am I? No one can see it. No one sees the pain... I hate myself for taking the time off, and I'm worried they're going to fire me because I'm not doing the work I should be doing there. I'm in so much pain. It hurts.

I just want to die. I love my boyfriend so much, and he's keeping me alive. I can't tell him I want to die can i? It's just not fair. I feel so guilty for feeling this way. I shouldnt' I should be ok.

Please please help me

[shadow-light]

just because it isn't visible doesn't make you any less worthy of sick leave. no, people cannot see what is wrong, it's no visible like having a caste on your leg or whatever, but that doesn't make it any less real, and in the end if you cannot face work right now then you should be off. And they can't fire you for having sick leave, it's not like you're just not turning up without telling them

you you speak to your therapist about the wanting to die feelings?

do you know why you're feeling this way? is it in part guilt of being off work?

[Katiee]

Hun,
If time off work is going to make you feel better and help you then you shouldn't feel guilty for it at all. *HUGS* If you're feeling suicidal it's impotant you speak tp your doctor and/or therapist. Take care, sweet. xx