I just lost this all and have to type it out again
Gah, just my luck.
Anyways, this is a pretty complicated thing, so sorry if I confuse you. I'm in recovery at the moment, and hope to be completely recovered by a year after this September as I want to go to university to do mental health nursing. I have a few major worries going through my head at the moment, and I thought it would be best to get them out and get another view on things. First I have to do the course that will lead me onto university, which is a year long, and I hope to start it in September (just when I remember to put the application in -_-). I'm not worried about that at all at the moment, its just the university stuff. For people who don't know, I'm in recovery from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, depression and severe self harm. I've been in quite a few places over the past 3 years, units/A&Es/wards, because of it. So here's whats in my head.
(1) I'm worried that they won't let me onto the degree course because I am recovering from CPTSD and the self harm thing. I haven't self harmed in just under two years, and I've heard that you have to be self harm free for two years to be allowed on. By then I'll be 3 1/2 years free. But its down in my notes that recently I've had some thoughts of self harm, and I'm not sure if they'll be able to hold it against me, and say that I'm not stable enough to go onto the course. I know it's unlikely but its just going around in my head. I don't plan on self harming ever again and I'll hopefully be completely recovered by the time I go to university.
(2) I have some scarring on my arms. I've been using bio oil for the past three months, with no luck so far. I'm worried that that if/when I go on placement with the uni, everywhere will reject me for having scars on my arms. When I was in one of the units, they made all the patients with more than mild scarring (including me) to cover up all scars with sleeves/long trousers/high tops. I'm scared that I'll trigger patients, or the other staff will think I'm triggering patients with my arms. I could just cover up. If I get onto this university course, I might think about having laser treatment on them. I don't want to be not considered because of something thats happened in my past. Because that's exactly what it is, in my past.
(3) I want to work with adolescents in inpatient units/wards/hospitals and/or possibly specialise in self harm. I want to go to university in Wales. Hopefully in one of three in South Wales, or as a back up one in North Wales. I've been to both the main adolescent inpatient units in North Wales and South Wales. Will this mean that I won't be able to work with the staff who treated me two years ago? Both units have/are being moved to new places, but a lot of the staff are staying the same.
Gah. I had a lot more than this written down. I forgot it all. Boo.
Anyways. Can anybody answer my questions/worries that are hidden there somewhere? =) Thanks for reading all this.
