Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - Not doing so great :(:( *Graphic maybe?*

Lyssie · 17-02-2009, 12:41 AM

I've started cutting in the places that I was abused (down there)

I feel so screwed up, I hate myself so much!
I am seeing my CPN on friday! Then my psych next week, wednesday!
God I feel sick just thinking about it let alone talking about it!

Make it stop!?

shadow-light · 17-02-2009, 12:47 AM

I've been tempted to SI in that area too... I sort of feel as if (this is going to sound mad) that area is bad and betrayed me, or if it wasn't there those things would never have happened... generally though I manage to just cut elsewhere instead as I'm scared of the damage I could do if I gave in to these urges...

maybe you coul call your psych?
i know it's hard to talk about, but I think that a change in area like this probably means something, maybe you culd write it down and give it to your CPN on friday?

I'm not sure how I can help... the best I've managed to do is just sort of transfer it and cut somewhere else (generally worse than I usually would-probably due to not doing it where my mind wants to...). I guess try using the normal distractions, do you have any that used to help with other areas?

troubleshooter · 17-02-2009, 12:51 AM

*hugs* Sweetheart you're not the only person to ever do that, lots of people who went through sa do. But since that is such a sensitive part of your body do your very best to not hurt it, even if you have to sit on your hands. Like it was said I would def talk to your psych about it and just to your best to let it alone. It might feel like a really bad place but it's just another part of you. You aren't sick, and it's ok to tell us. --this hasn't been the first post of this nature on this forum either! *gentle hugs* It'll be ok honey.

Lyssie · 17-02-2009, 01:30 PM

Thank you for your messages, they mean a lot to me! *hugs*
I think I will call my CPN in a minute,
I shall let you guys know how it goes...
Part of me though...
doesn't want to call my CPN and wants to do it really deep
so I need stitches or something, I know it's bad, but..
I canny help it! I think I need something to eat...xxx

shadow-light · 17-02-2009, 01:34 PM

well done on deciding to call them. try to hold on to the part of you that wants to call, and that doesn't want to do this damage.

Spoons · 17-02-2009, 02:28 PM

ive already pm'd you but yeah.

pm if you need anything

whirlpools · 19-02-2009, 04:25 PM

i do that. it's important to tell someone because if you cut there you are at risk of a very serious and unpleasant illness/infection called peritonitis. so if you cut there you really ought to get it seen by a doctor.

*hugs* i know how hard it is. xxx