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14-01-2009, 04:10 PM
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#1
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Time won't heal this damage anymore.
Join Date: Jun 2007
I am currently:  
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Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - Trying to have a relationship
It's difficult to have a relationship with my boyfriend after whats happened to me in the past. Like, I've told him what happened and about the abuse, and he's supportive, but I feel like he could do better. Idk, I'm just stuck. I cant even be intimate with him because I start to cry and remember things. It's not fair!
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RIP Mike [4.1.06] RIP Grandma [8.2.08]
Jon&Nicole[1.6.09]
Sometimes when i say
"oh i'm fine..."
i want someone to look me in the eyes and say
"tell the t r u t h"
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15-01-2009, 12:53 AM
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#2
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He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon
Join Date: Jul 2007
I am currently: 
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I know what you mean...
all i can advice is to stay open with him. maybe you could start slow? just hgging and stuff, go at your own speed and don't rush yourself. eventually you will be able to be intemate, eventually you will feel safe and comfortable with him
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16-01-2009, 01:02 PM
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#3
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angelic fruitcake
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: with the fairies
I am currently: 
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i totally understand. especially the he deserves better bit.
keep things slow, and eventually you will get there. dont rush it, and dont feel bad about him. he's with you for a reason, despite all the issues, they arent who you are. a part of u, but not the whole u.
sorry dont know if that made any sense. probably wasnt helpfull at all.
xxx
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ella1 is my twiny twin twin!
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16-01-2009, 03:56 PM
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#4
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Time won't heal this damage anymore.
Join Date: Jun 2007
I am currently:
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thanks
i totally just ranted to him yesterday about everything
completely broke down
it felt good to finally let someone know how much i've been hurtinf
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RIP Mike [4.1.06] RIP Grandma [8.2.08]
Jon&Nicole[1.6.09]
Sometimes when i say
"oh i'm fine..."
i want someone to look me in the eyes and say
"tell the t r u t h"
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17-01-2009, 03:37 AM
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#5
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Amarantos Everlasting
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: The collective unconsciousness.
I am currently: 
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Definitely start slow, like was said above. What worked for me was love. I loved him so much I loved every part of his body and in turn I loved how he loved me. How he touched me and everything else...also, I trusted him completely and felt safe with him. This, and only this, allowed me to be intimate with him. Also, he never rushed me, he waited until I was ready. I was ready when I felt safe and my love for him drove me to intimacy...not the other way around. Once you "make love" to that person you truly love (note the key word here is "love")...it will surpass all bad memories about intimacy and you'll be more comfortable every time you are intimate until it all runs smoothly. Once you get there you'll see there's a huge difference between what happened to you and being intimate with someone you love. It could never even compare so your mind won't associate it anymore.
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"...that incremental suicide of turning your life into a dream, to make being awake as similar to sleep as possible. Drowsily, lazily, dry-mouth your way through the day's ceremonies, fumble your way back into the dew-bather you never really left, draped in brown, brown now all around, the haze!" - Russell Brand on drug addiction.
"Si ma êkh gûndo piyiamásko...ándo bírto barruno. Bírto, bírto barruno."
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17-01-2009, 03:40 AM
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#6
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He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon
Join Date: Jul 2007
I am currently:
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well done for speaking to him (even if it was in rant form lol) did he say anything about it?
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