Basically I live in a 5 bedroom flat for students. It is not a student flat in that it is not connected with any universities so we can't complain to a student union. I have checked this out and Shelter and the housing association don't cover it either, so there is no-one I can complain to about anything.
One of my flatmates, Lucy, she's 18 and has just moved away from home in September. I'm 21 and this is my second year, in the exact same flat/room. We paid a deposit of £250 which we get back in June. But they totally take the piss with it and take money off for the silliest things. I need that money back as I pay everything myself and have to work hard to get everything I have. Her parents pay her rent, food and clothes money and money to go out, and she doesn't have a job.
So she started stealing food and stuff off me. Me and this other guy have a fridge/freezer to ourselfs and Lucy shares hers with 2 other girls. So as far as im concerned, she shouldn't even be in my fridge. She takes whole meals such as pizzas and lasagne's and always rolls her eyes and goes "oh ill pay you back" but she NEVER does.
It really got to breaking point 2 months ago. I was working at a place and had to get up at 7am all week. I had bottled water in the fridge that I got delivered from Asda (£5 delivery) and I was down to my last pack of water. One morning I went to grab a bottle, and there was none. She'd left the empty packet sitting in the fridge. No shops were open at this time so it was an inconvienience to me. The next day she left a note "sorry i finished your water, ill buy more!" and I left her one back (because she wasn't in) saying that no, that wasn't ok. It was the 3rd time she'd taken my water, she never replaces it and she shouldnt take my stuff.
3 bottles of water were put back in the fridge with a note, "stop with the f**king rude notes". And apparently she was in tears to the other flatmates saying im such a bully.
She's taken 3 mugs of mine and a glass, plus a plate and a bowl because she never brought her own when she moved in. I've asked for them back but she claims she doesn't have them, I know she does. I've lost some mugs I loved and the glass was a tinkerbell one. I now keep everything like that in my room and anytime I accidently leave one in the kitchen, it walks.
Before Christmas, she covered the living room walls with wrapping paper (how mature!) and I took it down on boxing day. A couple of days later I got a text "what the f**k do you think youre playing at taking that down?" and I just replied "its not christmas anymore". May I also point out that the walls are stained from the blu tack and the sellotape shes used has taken the paint off. Bye bye deposit. She text back "you had no right, i spent time doing that and was looking forward to coming back after the holidays to see it, that was just f**king rude". I just didn't answer, and went to her room to try and sort it out. But she wasn't in, it was only the boy that lives with us that was home. He'd text her and told her. He was like "she'd have found out anyway".
Him and one of the other girls keep saying "this is between you and lucy, we're keeping out of it!"
I keep saying to Lucy I'd like to talk face to face about this stuff but she avoids me like the plauge and refuses.
So new years eve, they were having a party. I took all my fruit juice out the fridge because I knew itd get used as mixer if I didn't. I left in my food and 2 x 2litre bottles of water. Came back to a completely empty fridge. Just my stuff, not my other flatmates was gone. They never had a party because the flat wasn't messy. But "Lindsey is a dick" was written on the fridge in permanent marker.
I found out later, that Lucy was drunk and thought it'd be hilarious to pour both my big bottles of water down the sink, and all my food got tossed out the window. She's such a nasty vile person. I can't physically afford to stop eating again and I can't financially afford to keep buying food for her to steal. Before anyone suggests it, there is no space at all for me to get a mini fridge, my room is small and full.
I came home today and the front door is propped open. I shut it behind me and then when I go into my room I hear she has friends in the kitchen. She came out (while im in the room) and she screams "oh look, some C*** shut the door, WONDER WHO THAT WAS". I'm so not in the mood for confrontation. But I had an optic minibar dispenser that cost £50 and it got stolen out the kitchen which someone said was because the door was left propped open.
what a BITCH!!!! sounds to me like daddys little princess thinks she can act at home anywhere, without realising this is the REAL world. Im in a student house and im not gettin on with one of my housemates, but nothing like this.
She is being completely stupid, what i would do is take pictures of the stuff she has written in on the fridge and the marks on the walls, also keep any following notes she sends u. After u have a few take them to the agency. Tell them u want to transfer to another house, if they claim u cant for the contract tell them if they do nothing to resolve this fact that this girl is not only damangin there house but becoming abuse that you will go to the police on a case of harrassment.
it sounds petty going to the police but at the end of the day she is actually stealing, and being abusive. In my house we always kept the kitchen window open and plates pots and stuff would go missing, found out the boys nxt store who were also students had been jumping over the wall and taking our clean stuff coz they didnt want to wash theres. I work in a pub and a guy who drinks there is a police man, he went over scared the hell out of the boys they returned all our stuff. let this cow no she cant do this 2 u, she cant treat anybody like this. Im half temped to come find out where u live and go there and give this girl a peice of my mind, shes really really angered me!!!!!!!
hope my littlt rant has helped in some way.... xxx
' Your always going to have the hurt, you may as well use it'
'Writing can be a way of righting any wrongs that have been done to you'
'Scars tell a story of where u have been, but they dont have to dictate where u are going'
It has, it's let me know that im not alone in thinking she's a bitch!
This evening, her and her friends blew up 200 balloons and put them in our very small living room. You actually cant sit on the couches because they're everywhere. She's talking about filling the lifts with them so someone tries to get in and can't. I hope she does, because I will so be reporting that it was her.
I've taken a photo of the balloons. Wish I hadn't cleaned that off the fridge now, but im sure she'll do something else soon worthy of adding to my notebook of things lucys done!
I also dont think its fair though if I have to move. I've lived here a year longer than her. Toss her out!
I know she is stealing and everything, but id just feel so silly going to the police. She'd cry her way out of it anyway.
There's another girl in the flat she doesn't like. And this girl went home for 5 weeks over Christmas. Lucy emptied her fridge freezer and ate everything in it. She plans to tell her the freezer started defrosting and she had to throw everything out. This girl had a lot in there and it was like, marks and spencers food, not cheap crap. I really want to say to Jacqui that she just stole her stuff to be a bitch but it'll be obvious it came from me, and I really am trying to cause as least grief as possible
The others all know it's going on but seem to think im being really uptight about it. I'm the only one with a job, and the only one paying my own rent. Everyone elses parents pay it.
The guy I share a fridge with says he doesnt mind her going in our fridge. Probably because she never takes his bloody stuff.
ah this girl jst gets worse!!! i duno how you are keeping your cool. i would have lost it by now.... im still considering coming to your house lol. kwwp us updated pm me atall if u ever want to rant xxxx
' Your always going to have the hurt, you may as well use it'
'Writing can be a way of righting any wrongs that have been done to you'
'Scars tell a story of where u have been, but they dont have to dictate where u are going'
The others all know it's going on but seem to think im being really uptight about it. I'm the only one with a job, and the only one paying my own rent. Everyone elses parents pay it.
that in itself can be annoying, i know... sometimes feels as if i'm the only one at uni who's paretns don't pay for everyhing or at least send them money...
I've never lived in a student house, so can't really say much... but maybe you could have a "house meeting" or something? try to explain how much this affects you and how hard you work already to support yourself without having to unofficially support another... or maybe speak with the other person who she dislikes? see what her take is on all this, if 2 of you complain about it people may take it all more seriously...
Ooooooo this girl has gotten me absolutely FUMING!!
I hate people like that, they need to learn that they live in the real world now, not everybody is going to be nice and tiptoe around them while they throw their spoilt brat tantrums. This is Uni, not year 2.
And yeah I would agree with everybody else, take any evidence of what she is doing, make sure you include dates on EVERYTHING. Also about padlocking your fridge, but that could be awkward as your male roomate doesnt mind it.
Your not being uptight at all hun, to be honest I think you've held your temper remarkably well, if that was me . . . Well Im not the best at keeping my temper!!!
fakesmiler - fancy some help on going down there and ranting??
Please , please go at this girl with everything you've got and make sure she doesnt get away with this. Its abuse and theft, and you completely dont deserve any of it. You have every right to go to the police, shes not paying for anything, your paying for everything, and she's basically stealing your hard earned money.
*Is slightly calmer now*
Sorry for the rant!!
Em
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I don't know what advice to give, because I've never had this happen to me. I can understand how rough having a tight money situation is. I go to uni, and I live in the dorms, and I'm taking out student loans to pay for things. My parents help me, but money is tight at home, and so what little money I get from my job, and the few times they are able to send me some money, is all I have to get what I need. It must be awful to be supporting yourself completely and have people stealing **** from you.
All I can say is, if you tell the police, be aware of your local laws. In the states, the people you live with are domestic partners, and if you call in a fight, then it's considered a domestic dispute. In the states, that means that one of you has to go to jail, and both of you get the fact that you have had a domestic dispute put on your record.
I do not want to know myself. I do not want to be myself. I know better, so I will strive to be better.
I know it's not an official Uni flat, but are you sure the student union can't help? I mean, if she wasn't a student and you went to them for some advice because you're being bullied in private accommodation surely they'd have some ideas about how to help?
They may not be able to take action against her, but they should be there to support and advise you, and by having outsiders involved perhaps she'll realise her behaviour is out of order...
There's another girl in the flat she doesn't like. And this girl went home for 5 weeks over Christmas. Lucy emptied her fridge freezer and ate everything in it. She plans to tell her the freezer started defrosting and she had to throw everything out. This girl had a lot in there and it was like, marks and spencers food, not cheap crap. I really want to say to Jacqui that she just stole her stuff to be a bitch but it'll be obvious it came from me, and I really am trying to cause as least grief as possible
I'd tell her - after all, if you don't that's a bit like what your other housemates are doing with you. She's doing divide and rule.
Also, if the person you share a fridge with doesn't mind Lucy going in it, could you swap and share a fridge with Jacqui and then put a lock on it?
You know, if I locked my fridge she'd just find other ways to take things. I'm so paranoid about forgetting to lock my bedroom door when I go out.
I've thought about taking her stuff out the fridge and binning it, but as she shares with the 2 other girls I don't know what stuff is hers.
She hasn't done anything major the past 2 days. The other night me and the boy flatmate were watching a dvd, and it was on the last 6mins and she came crashing into the kitchen and he was like "can you keep it down for 6mins?" I tell you, she could not have made more noise She was yapping for the sake of it and banging cupboard doors and he told her again to shut up and we got "EH YEAH ITS MY FLAT TOO". But he still doesnt have a problem with her.
Then today I come in to find 3 binbags of rubbish piled outside my bedroom door. I asked her why they were there and she was like "theyre not exactly in front of your door, I just put them out of the kitchen cos they were stinking".
No, you put them in front of my door because you're an immature cow.
The student union say theres nothing they can do. The building I live in basically say its not their problem either.
I've been in this flat for a year longer than her so im not bloody moving.
The thing is..I know something about her that she doesn't want anyone to know. She's gay. I found this out, and she doesn't know I know, and she's still pretty in the closet.
But I wouldn't use it against her. I couldn't. I know if she found out about my SH she'd shout it to the world, but even with that, I couldn't use that as a weapon.
I'm sure that if mpre than 1 person in your flat complained they would have no choice but to transfer her to another house... happened to a friend of mine (I know a few people in student houses so asked them the othe rday about these things) apparently they had a person like this causing all sorts of trouble including damaging the house, so they took pictures and wrote down like a diary of what she did, then went to the "agency" (not sure that'sd what it's called... but anyway...) and they put her on a list for transfer, which basically meant that 2 weeks later she was moved, though those 2 weeks were apparently hell... it apparently works by putting them on a list and as soon as a room opens up elsewhere (from someone moving or dropping out or whatever) they get offered to go there. of course with the way student houses work I don't think that they can actually force the move nor evict them unless soemthing majo occurs or they severally damage the building...
She maturely blew up 200 balloons and put them in the living room with a note saying that we'd not to dare touch them. Then she was saying she was going to stuff them all in the lifts so no-one could get in.
I was PRAYING she would because I would have been so quick to report her and she'd get in serious **** for that. But she didnt because no-one would do it with her.
God. She sounds like a pathetic little child. I'd ****ing punch her.
But yeah, complain to your landlord/ agency that she's causing damage to the flat, or that she's bullying you and other housemates. The fact you've been there longer than her should put you in higher stead.
Basically, complain to everyone and anyone you can. I'd consider the fridge swapping idea too.
And, try and get this girl on her own and have a good talk with her. She sounds like a scared little kid, who's insecure about herself so she's taking it out on you. That's all bullying is.
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She was yapping for the sake of it and banging cupboard doors and he told her again to shut up and we got "EH YEAH ITS MY FLAT TOO". But he still doesnt have a problem with her.
