Triggering (Substance Abuse) - my partners alcohol problem

[angelang42]

hi been with my partner over 5 years now hes gone from drinking at the weekends to drinking every 2nd day this has been going on for a year now now hes starting to get pains in his stomach and diahorrea he cant just have a few drinks them stop he has to finish the bottle!
he also works in a distillery and he gets free issues twice a year to the value of £200 worse still he buys drink every month totalling the value of £100 ive tried to discuss the problem with him but he just ignores me and gets mood swings and he is in total denial he risks losing everything!my sister is a recovering alcoholic and is going back to aa and she cant get through to him either!i also have crohns and an underactive thyroid i really dont need the stress hes bringing everyone down with him!any advise would be extremely appreciated.

regards angela

[Minty]

It's hard when someone is an alcoholic especially in this age. All you can do is try and educate him as best you can, until he is ready it's hard to get through. Maybe you could contact his work regarding his problem and see if they can withdraw the free issues from him, instead providing a bonus of some sort. Im sorry I can't offer anything else, there are groups that help people who live with alcoholics

My partners father suffers as an alcholic and found this site quite useful http://web4health.info/en/answers/ad...-alcoholic.htm

[angelang42]

hi minty thanks for your reply i tried to discuss going to meetings with him today and the reply i got was no i even told him i would come along for support so thats out of the question1
if i called his work it would only cause problems and he would know it was me he cant afford to lose his job as he is a single parent to a 13 yr old child!when my sister talked to him today he said it was due to boredom i know thats a poor excuse!
he never used to drink during the week its just began this year so there must be a problem he sits in the house and drinks alone ive told him i cant compete with a drinker he has to admit he has a problem but hes not prepared to do that!
I live in aberdeen and he lives in edinburgh but i share my time between aberdeen/edinburgh
If the worst comes to the worst then im going to call it a day because its just putting more and more stress on me when i call him i know hes drinking but he always denies it he has said hes going to cut down but it never results to anything same old same old so not sure which way to turn now!not only that but his 13 year old son has started drinking cider hes in denial and he wont admit he has a problem he does not seem to realise he has his whole life ahead of him as for myself i was diagnosed with crohns disease 2004 then underactive thyroid 2008 he needs to stop feeling sorry for himself try living my life!

[angelang42]

minty it would be pointless calling his work regarding the free issues because he gets a drink sheet every month to order so im on a losing battle unfortunately but thanks for the ideas!

[brom100]

I am really worried here for the child in this situation. Can you appeal to his parental side and point out what is happening to his son. The only other thing I can say, is that you need to take care of yourself, if that means going it alone then that is what you have to do.

[shadow-light]

problem with this really (as has been said) is that unless he'll admit that he has a problem there is vvery little that you can really do...

I agree with the Al-Anon idea. do you know if there are any near where you live?
oh just noticed you live in abereen lol, therefore al-anon meetings are;
Monday - 8.00pm - Queens Cross Church Hall, Albyn Place
Wednesday - 7.30pm - Portlethen Church Hall, Portlethen and - 8.00pm - Clerkseat Building, Cornhill Hospital
Thursday - 8.00pm - Beechgrove Church Hall, Midstocket Road


this http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/about/f/faq12.htm may be helpful, had a quick look and it looks like some of the advice if pritty good.


eventually he will break out of this denial, and when that happens you'll need to be ready as he'll need/want support. so at the moment the priority is to take care of yourself

[blondiebear]

Let me add another vote for Al-Anon. Whatever happens to him, those meetings will help you take care of yourself.

*hugs*

[-Asphyxia-]

I don't have much advice to give, though I agree with what others have said about Al-Anon. I just wanted to send some support your way; I'm not dating an alcoholic, but my friend is a serious drinker, so I can kind of relate. He admits he has a drinking problem but still refuses to stop...He wants to at times, but physically can't. I've tried reaching out to him too, but it's difficult. We didn't really speak for about 2 years because of his drinking and the way his personality would change (he would be brutally mean to me). Sometimes it feels like a lost cause. It's the worst feeling when you want to help someone but they won't let you in.

Take care, and I hope you're doing okay.