Triggering (SI/OD) - A form of self help *poss also substance abuse*

[ThinkingofRecovery]

Don't yet have the energy or inclination to post re the difficulties over christmas/new year period. Back at home (having been at mum's) and have also brought back a weeny stash of diazepam - not prescription meds for me. I've been so ****ing down and sick of fighting for such a long time. No suggestion of anything of practical use, no acknowledgment that it is not a satisfactory state in which to be in. The thing is, I was wondering whether me taking diazepam every now and then when things get really bad is a form of self help isn't it? It would be me recognising getting to that point and doing something about it. Supposed to use my prn AP for that but sometimes just need a little of something extra, something that will zonk me out more quickly. I can get alot more of the diazepam and I suppose it is another risk of OD but at the moment, using is sensibly. What would happen if my psych found out that I was using it occasionally? I don't think there is a way she would out anyway, is there? Do you think that this is a form of self help and do you think it is OK?

[shadow-light]

first off you really really shouldn't take drugs that weren't prescribed to you...
you'd be far better off going to speak to someone about gettign your own if you think they could help

[Misunderstood.]

I think that as long as you are careful and manage to stick to safe doses it is ok.

[teenytineytori]

if your current prn is not working fast enough or is not strong enough talk to your doc about it. I would say it is not okay because it could ahve interactions with your other medications, you do not always have access to it, you said you are a possible od risk, and it could interact with foods you are unaware of. also, if it is helping to reduce stress you are not giving your doctor the full picture of where you really are when you speak to them because you ahve this medication to take the edge off. i don't know if I would consider it a form of self harm but i would consider it dangerous. and i am not familiar with that particular drug but many drugs that reduce anxiety can be habit forming and you don't want to add substance abuse to the problems you already have. I suggest getting rid of the pills and telling your doctor that you need a stronger prn. ((hugs))