N.u.m.b

[Slip]

I’ve just become an aunt for the first time.
My sister In-law had a baby boy this morning.
I should be excited – I’m expected to feel excited.
But I feel nothing.
I don’t understand.
The thing is I don’t think its because its her. I think I would feel the same way if it was my own sister.
I don’t understand.
I'm such a bad person
Why don’t I feel anything?
So selfish

[shadow-light]

not feeling anything doesn't make you selfish... could be any number of reasons for not feeling anything... may not have sunk in yet, or you may not feel much until you actually see the baby... or if you have depression it could be merely due to that... but I highly doubt it's due to selfishness

[Margo]

Why does that make you a bad person?

Going over and sticking pins in the child would make you bad. You been having a really shitty time of it. If you are anything like me there just gets to a point where you brain goes "**** it" i cant handle anymore and just switches off. Puts its self into protection mode to stop it from just exploding.

When you feel crap nothing makes you feel good.

Alternatively perhaps this baby has stirred something in you thats triggered off this numb response?

what ever it is you are NOT a bad person. A bit of a loon -YES! bad - NO!

Love and hugs and mild pokeage

Matthew xxx

[88shelz]

how do you think you should feel?
there is no particular way that you should be feeling.
dont be thinkn bad of yourself

[Stellata]

What does a new baby mean to you?

[Slip]

I just don't know.

We went to the hospital last night & he was only 8 hours old & I held him in my arms & I felt all "aw isn't he cute" but at the same time I still didn't feel anything.

Maybe it is just because it stirs up things I don't want to think about - but it didn't feel like that either I wasn't sad or anything.

I guess I should feel more than I do, but maybe thats because I'm surrounded by, mum, dad, grandmother & granddad...

I just don't know - maybe your right Matthew, maybe my brain just shut down...

oh well
xxx