i started subconciously scratching my skin with a compass in maths and art and such, and ended up 2 months later as a full-on cutter...that was 3 years ago. i also feel like an addict, and also want to stop...it will happen, you just need to work at it.
forgetting, all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
pretending, someone else can come and save me from myself
i cant be who you are
I started 7 years ago. Theres been times Ive gone 8 or 9 months without doing it much. Other times every day. I started when things got really bad at home. At the moment I'm not trying to stop, but I dont like what I do
I started when I was 15 or 16, i'm now 22. i also started scratching subconciously then full-on pretty soon. i went 6 months w/o needing to do it, didn't worry about it much, but then my great-uncle died of cancer this february who i had been caring for for the last 8 or 9 months of his life...and i started again. now its worse than every.
i'm not trying to stop at the moment but people are pressuring me a lot to stop. i don't like that i do it either... kinda the same situation as the 2 comments above me in a few ways...
2 Corinthians 12:9 (RcV) My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.
Affirmations: *I now choose to release every negative, destructive, fearful idea and thought from my mind and from my life.
*I am willing to release the pattern in me that is creating any negative condition in my life.
*I release all struggle now, and I am at peace.
i started a year or more ago.
for me, it started as punishment. i was ashamed of myself for some things,
so when i got mad at myself, i'd punish.
then i turned to it for an emotional outlet.
i've been struggling on and off with it for a year now,
hopefully the worst is over with.
"its weird that photographers spend years or even a whole lifetime,
trying to capture moments that, added together,
don't even amount to a couple of hours." -james lairopul keivom
i started late last june.........everthing that i tryed as a outlet got me in troble......with no other otions left i truned to cutting....... by digging my finger nails into my arm so deep that they would leave little scars on my arm........im trying to stop before i go too far...................................
we are the fallen
we are the wounded
we are the shattered
we are the unheard
we are the brave
we are the strong we are Survivors. and..... we are the future
we fallen can still rise by the wings of hope that lifts us~
I started 4 years ago...Mostly because Ive had a lot of problems with my stomach in several years, which kinda f*ucked up my life and made me feel disgusting. And also, no one seemed to take me seriously, so I felt extremly alone and different. And I felt I would go crazy if I didnt get all this feelings and all the frustration out somehow. The first time I just did it for "fun" in class with a compass, and some months later I started for real, and then it wasnt fun anymore, and I would use all my time covering it.
It started with light scratching and ripping up skin and developed to cutting and burning.
Im not trying to stop anymore. I kinda want to, but I dont see how I would be abe to function without it, because ive tried, believe me. As half_rainbow said, im not trying to stop, but I dont like what im doing.
Last edited by Ghostface : 19-11-2008 at 02:05 AM.
I started last summer. Last year I was a senior in highschool and it was hard for me because my best friend died 8 yrs ago and I kept thinking how she should be there too. My parents got divorced, and my sibs and I are all over the place and I couldn't find someone to talk to. One day I couldn't take it anymore. Stopped after a few days, came to college, same problems resurfaced and didn't have any real friends and started again. Now I do it as punishment because I blame myself for my friend's death.
I find some of what you teach suspect
Because I'm used to relying on intellect
But I try to open up to what I don't know
Because reason says I should have died
Three years ago...
- Rent
I started when I was about 12 (6th grade). I honestly don't remember why or what gave me the idea. I just knew that I hurt a lot and needed some way to get the pain out and cutting made me feel better.
I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh, but God, I want to let it go.
If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can find out first-hand what it's like to be me.
You'll need a symphony to give sympathy to the girl with the worst luck in town.
When I care, it curls me up on the floor and I swear I can't do it anymore.
I find some of what you teach suspect
Because I'm used to relying on intellect
But I try to open up to what I don't know
Because reason says I should have died
Three years ago...
- Rent
I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh, but God, I want to let it go.
If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can find out first-hand what it's like to be me.
You'll need a symphony to give sympathy to the girl with the worst luck in town.
When I care, it curls me up on the floor and I swear I can't do it anymore.
I don't remember much, but I know it started in 7th grade. I'd been thinking about it for some reason for several days; planning on how to hide marks and what I'd say if people asked questions. I remember hating myself: my appearance, personality, just everything, and I felt like screaming all the time. I felt like no one around me would listen or care. I still don't. I didn't know how to tell people I was hurting so I figured I'd show them. Then one day I came home from school and just crashed. I took a steak knife, ran up to my room, and made marks all over my arm. That's the worst I ever remember feeling; I truly hit rock bottom.
I started cutting when I was 15, but I had been hurting myself in other ways for as long as I can remember. I did it because no one would listen to me, and I need some where to express the amount of emotional pain I was in.
It's easier to run; Replacing this pain with something numb;It's so much easier to go;Than face all this pain here all alone;
Some people say courage is diving infront of a bullet, or bungy jumping off a bridge, but thats not true courage, true courage is facing everyday knowing that it won't be a happy go lucky day, but facing it anyway. It's facing your past, dealing with the present, and looking forward to brighter days.
I started about 2.5 years ago... When I was like 16. I started because I was really depressed and loathing myself. I originally started by just scratching myself until I bled, then I moved onto using pins and things and then I moved onto razors. Razors were the hardest to get out of the habit of... I was also wise though because I always SI-ed in a place where I knew people wouldn't look.
I got myself out of the habit about 9 months ago (and have not self-harmed in 9 months. YAY!) but I still have days where I really want to SI. I think I still subconsciously scratch myself when I am really depressed but it's not as 'severe' anymore.
4 years ago... almost exactly 4 years ago in fact... so when i was 17
I started by accident if that makes sense... sort of got annoyed at myself one day and found myself digging my nails into my arm... and it kind of escalated from there
Hi, I'm new *waves* and too shy to start a newbie thread. I started when I was 14 or 15 in response to being bullied at school and hating myself, just by playing with razors and my craft knife. I more or less quit between the ages of 16 and 19, but this year it has come back. Now I do it to feel real, to feel something, and because it helps me concentrate on my work. I hope to be in a place where I can quit soon.
I started when I was around 13. I had a friend who's Mum was a chronic self injurer and I remember asking her about it once; she was always fairly open with her state of mind and such. She explained the basics to me (why she did it etc) and then ended with "but you can never really understand it until you've been there" and I suppose my natural teenage curiosity lead me to try it to find out for myself. I started off digging my nails into my skin, and scratching with nail files and stuff and then it escalated into what it is today.
I have self harmed as long as I can remember but the first time I cut 'properly' I was 10 so seven years and 2 months ago >.<
I have always self harmed as punishment.
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
The first time I SH'd I was in the quiet room at a halfway house type school for people too ill to attend actual school. Covered my left hand in cuts. I didn't know SH existed at the time. At the time I was extremely depressed and it just seemed to happen I didn't purposely do it to achieve anything at the time. A meeting was called with my parents, the staff and my psychiatrist at the time because they wanted to expel me as it wasn't allowed.
I was 12 [10-11 years ago].
A few months later a read an article in a magazine about it and it clicked that that was what I'd done.
Since then I've SH'd for all manner of reasons and never managed a decent amount of time free.
Happyness Is only Siknn Deep
