I have already asked about this in general support, but I’m still fretting an unbelievable amount and thought you people may have some other advice/ideas to what I’ve already heard.
Basically from this friday until monday (as in the 13th to 16th) I am going to be alone... my boyfriend is going away to visit his family (we live together) and I am going to be alone in our flat... For some reason just about everyone seem to have chosen this week to family visit or to go away for work... as such I really am going to be alone...
now I REALLY don't cope well alone... I mean SERIOUSLY don't cope well... I'm not really sure why... so I need ideas, help, advice, something to get me through this weekend... I know it may sound pathetic but I really need help here... I have no internet in my flat (well I do sometimes when I steal the libraries wifi) so I can't even come on here and speak to people... I just really don't know what to do... I'm so bad at being alone... I get scared and insecure and stuff... and seem to loose motivation to do anything...
I don't know... it's a problem which I have to deal with... just not sure I want to deal with it just yet. I’m so scared… I’ve been dreading it all so much…
I really have been getting better, trying SO hard… this is the only really serious problem I still have, everythingelse is ok 90% of the time, but when I’m alone it all comes back and I end up as I was a year ago all over again…
This is also causing arguments/stress to our relationship, he feels I’m being “possessive” and preventing him from doing things. I’ve tried to tell him I’m trying but he’s starting to doubt it :(
He’s told me that he won’t stay around forever if I can’t change, We’ve been together almost 2 years now, and I have been trying so hard for that time to get better… until recently he was been FANTASTIC about it all, but I think I’m starting to wear him down… I’ve been told that every time I have a episode he’s finding it all harder and harder… the other problem is on days when I get very down I get worse if we are apart and his being with me while I’m like that gets him down too, which usually ends in an argument…
I love him SO much…
I feel safe, secure and even confident when he’s around… I guess it’s the fear of loosing that feeling that gets me so het up about being alone? I’m really not sure…

sorry about the patheticness.... just thought someone here may have a similar issue or know how to deal with it productively rather than negatively as I usually do
I just wish I knew why I find being alone so difficult... maybe then I could find a way to get over it... I mean it's almost a week away, but I'm probably going to spend all week crying and being depressed dreading it... once he's gone it's never as bad as i fear... I have difficulty with 4 hours when he goes out on a monday night (which he does most weeks) so how will I cope with 4 days? It's almost a week away,yet I just want to sit here and cry... maybe the dreading will be worse than the actual event?
I just don't know what to do...






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