Heya guys,
I'm new to this emailing, but have been going through the pain of self harm and domestic violence for the past ten years. I have come to the stage where i no longer understand what is what, i've lost track of who i am and what is the purpose in being here in the first place, i work hard, play hard, but in a false sense. Always a long sleeve shirt, if not a long questionaire from people. I,m sick of being so different, seeing people with no scars, scared to show people who the real ****ed up person is dwelling within. What do i say?
To me i'd rather be taken by the grim reaper, and my god i have tryed, screaming, pain, mental homes, does it ever stop. For twenty years i have been brought up with the domestic violence that no one should see, and for the past ten years i have brutally indulged self harm, to the extent of hospitalisation and major surgery. I now want my scars to disappear, hence i have more surgery coming up. Why can't people understand? I would love to meet someone near me who i can talk to, its ****ing lonely out here. I can only hope that the second lot of surgery makes a difference, or else i'll always be a freak.
Thanks. NBN..
Hey I don't really have any advice for you, but I think you will find a lot of people here on RYL who understand what you have been through. You are definitely not alone. Hopefully you will be able to find the support you need here. Feel free to PM me anytime if you need to talk. *hugs*
Laura
"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." ~Mother Theresa
I'm waiting for my last SI to heal. It can be hidden by short sleeves but on the one day a week I teach, i use special double sided tape to make sure my sleeve doesn't ride up. In some respects I'd like people to see my marks so they know what a mess up I am.
I'm coming to terms with a childhood full of violence, emotional abuse and incest. This 18 years after I left home?!?
I often feel different too. I have a good idea about who I am but no idea of my place in the world. I so often feel like a stranger in a strange land not able to speak the language, not able to learn the language and no guidebook ever.
I'm here if you want to talk to me. PMs welcome.
*gives you an accepting welcoming hug*
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
hey hun, I really understand how lonely things can be and how painful that is. I just want you to know that you are not alone, and that there are always people on RYL that understand.
I hate feeling different, and like you said, I, too, am tired of always seeing people with no scars, people that are fine, and sometimes i just want to scream and shout and tell the world that Im very much not Ok, instead i hide it.
*reaches out and holds you*
Im always around if you want to talk
Love Lora xx
Ps. Welcome to RYL
I scream for the sunlight, or a car to take me anywhere, just get me past this Dead and Eternal snow.
And if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere, just take me there, and lie to me and tell me it’s gonna be Alright.
- Conor Oberst
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