Unprepared... Help?

[Daydream]

I know I'm making too many threads and I'm sorry about that.
It started talking to me today. It has never spoken to me before I'm sure It is the one who called me the twice I heard my name called before. I'm pretty sure It is the one who is making me think I need to burn my hand too. I also think It has some connection to the rat/cat thing I saw before. I was not prepared for It to ever speak to me because I could only feel It's presence but I can't see It. Sorry if I confused you with this I'm confused too.

I don't know what I'm meant to do, I'm scared. It wants to take control over me. I can't talk to my fiancé who is the only one in the house because he will think I'm insane. I can't talk to anyone and I'm frightened. I don't know what todo. Someone please tell me what I can do

April x

[shadow-light]

does anyone know about what's going on?

[Daydream]

My GP knows I've heard things but she was not too concerned because it wasn't someone talking but now It has started. I don't want to go back to see my GP because she will ask what I want her to do and I don't know what I wanted her to do I want It to stop talking and go away. I don't see the psychiatrist until 5th March.

My fiance talked to me last night and I eventually told him I was hearing someone saying something but I didn't tell him all of it I just told him what It told me the first time which was "It doesn't need to be fixed". He isn't worred but I didn't tell him that It wants me to burn my hand on the cooker.

It talked to me last night and It said that if I burn my hand and bang my head until my nose bleeds then It will go away I don't think I belive It but I'm so scared. My head hurts because It keeps going on and on and on. I'm trying to keep distracted away from It but It always keeps on. It told me that banging my head until my nose bleeds will fix my head and then It would go away. I have no one to talk to about this. I have to try and keep it together for the next two days and I'm scared that I will ruin everyones lives if I don't.

april

[sum1helpplz]

just stay calm and try and distract i have heard the voices in my head talk for like 10 years just distract ursellf and be 100% honest with ur fiance and gp and stay calm hun and strong

[Daydream]

I feel like I can't be 100% honest with my fiance because I'm so scared of hurting him again. The sound of his pain when he was told I'd taken an overdose was too much and I can't do it again. That is the only thing stopping me from taking my life and that's sad. I should want to live anyway, it's not a good enough reason to stay alive. He threatened to call my parents earlier when I went to bed and wouldn't get out of bed and I said I didn't care. He didn't follow through. I was half hoping he would so that then everything would come out and I wouldn't have to be secret anymore.

I'm scared to go to my GP in case she says that I need to go into hospital because I won't go and I'll run away and that will hurt everyone again.

When It gets too loud I'm going to bed and hoping that I won't wake up. It has said that I don't have to do it on the cooker, I can do it another way just as long as I prove I'm human flesh and skin. I just want to give in and do what It wants so that I can breathe again. I feel like I'm going insane when I'm not.

I have to keep it together just for tomorrow so that i don't ruin my dads birthday then I can go to sleep for the whole weekend and hide away and I wont ruin anyones life that way. It only goes away when I sleep so I'm trying to sleep all the time and Im going to have to keep sleeping until 5th March when I see the psychaitrist. I don't think I'll make it to then but I'll try.

April x

[talaiporia]

I really do think you should go and see your GP. She won't panic and overeact, she'll have seen this before, and she'll know what to do. I don't think she would suggest hospital at this stage.

I don't think it's a good idea to try to prove you are human flesh and skin. We know you are, and that's all that matters.

Take care.

[Daydream]

I've been admitted to hospital yesterday. Diagnosis pending.

Love you all xxx

[Patent Pending]

I hope you're doing okay, and feel better in hospital. I hope they give you the support you need.

Take care.

x x x