Multiple diagnoses

Steel Maiden · 23-09-2011, 08:30 AM

I was recently told that there is a 90% chance I have dyspraxia and mild OCD. I was talking to my dad's secretary (she's a good friend of mine) and I told her this. She then said "oh no, you don't want any more labels!". I told my mum that the physiotherapist said I have patellar tendonitis and my mum got angry with me and moaned about labels, multiple diagnoses etc.

I don't understand why they reacted like that. Why did they react like that? It made me rather stressed out.

In fact, I cannot even mention my Asperger's to my mum because she gets very angry and tells me to stop blaming everything on my diagnosis, even if I haven't blamed anything, I was just telling her something that I read about it, or something that I find interesting about it. She also, sadly, thinks Asperger's is a curse....

Why are some people so sensitive over me mentioning diagnoses?

Kitkat :) · 23-09-2011, 09:46 AM

Maybe it's because they can't handle it. Maybe they don't want you thinking of yourself like that; my mum couldn't accept my diagnoses.

Steel Maiden · 23-09-2011, 11:00 AM

I suppose my mum wants me to be healthy. I want to be healthy. But Asperger's is not a curse, I wouldn't be studying pharmacology if I didn't have my intense obsessive interest in the subject, and I wouldn't be studying so much without it. I know that there are bad things to it, like sensory overload etc, but in my case the benefits outweigh the negatives. Although I do know that Asperger's/autism is a spectrum and everyone with it is affected differently.

I'm sorry to hear that your mum couldn't accept it, that must be hard.

I understand now, parents want their offspring to be healthy.

Kitkat :) · 23-09-2011, 11:58 AM

I guess they just don't understand that and see any kind of "label" as something that would constantly hang over your head. It may be because they're not experiencing it that they don't understand how it could be beneficial; maybe they only see the negatives to it.

It was, but then she went on AD's and they made her a lot more relaxed and open-minded about it all - like a completely different person.

Steel Maiden · 23-09-2011, 02:50 PM

That's fair enough. I have tried to educate my parents about Asperger's but they're quite resistant and have their preconceptions.

I'm glad that the ADs helped her.

Ellyx · 23-09-2011, 02:59 PM

I have aspergers aswell, as well a psychosis and borderline personality disorder, and i hate the whole multiple lable thing...

Steel Maiden · 24-09-2011, 08:25 AM

Multiple labels are not nice but it feels worse when my parents make a huge point of it or call me a hypochondriac when I didn't diagnose myself, a professional did.

shadow-light · 24-09-2011, 08:33 AM

my parents kind of do the opposite... mental health wise they ignore any stuff, but when it comes to things like dyslexia my mum is constantly using it as an excuse for me or talling me how I am incapable of doing X because of it... I am also still awaiting an assesment for aspergers, but even now my mum says "it's because you're aspergic" to things constantly... it's like as far as she is concerned I am a disorder and nothing more and I am incapable of living the life I want to because of it (she never supports things I want to do education wise telling me I would not be able to do it because of my issues).

Think sometimes the best thing to do with these people is to try to ignore them

Steel Maiden · 25-09-2011, 06:58 AM

Shadow Light, I am sorry to hear that she is doing that.

If only parents could find a "middle ground", as in not over-exaggerate and not under-exaggerate.

roiben · 27-09-2011, 01:55 PM

Maybe the way to put it to your parents is that the labels are there to help direct treatment that is best fit for you. They also help you to better understand yourself, and so you are bound to see them in a more positive light.

Parents often feel a sense of guilt and dread with labels. They feel bad that their child may not be healthy, and powerless in helping them. It can also be frightening to hear certain labels for some people.

I know my parents understanding of mine is very loose and thin. They get the physical stuff, but not the mental side of things - and I have multiple diagnosis on both side... My Mum is very against psychological medication, but understands that meds such as insulin, are life-saving.

Everyone is different, I suppose (sorry, am rambling) and needs any new idea to be presented in the way they see it from.

Roiben x

Steel Maiden · 27-09-2011, 09:08 PM

Thanks Roiben, I understand more now.

I am not sure whether I should stop discussing any of my conditions with my parents at all or to force them to accept it.

My dad still calls me a hypochondriac or says that I am "in danger of becoming a a weirdo" every time I mention health problems. My mum tells me to stop talking about myself.

roiben · 28-09-2011, 01:46 PM

Depends very much on your definition of weirdo. I already am one according to some people. It is a sad label built up of preconceived ideas and not at all a real fit of what it makes you as a person.

I think that you should not try to force your parents to understand, as unfortunately you have no control over that, and will only end up upsetting yourself. Instead, try to accept the labels for yourself and work on accepting the fact that right now may not be the best time to bring them up with your parents. I wouldn't say never say anything to them, more leave it to rest for the time-being and focus on getting yourself as well as you can.

*safe hugs*

Roiben x

ferretmonster · 28-09-2011, 06:24 PM

As other people have said, your parents probably find it hard to take in that their child has problems, and mental health problems are even harder for some people to understand.

There is such a stigma attached to MH problems and I have to admit I find Aspergers very difficult to understand because it is to do with removing or changing parts of my perception that i see as fundamental to me.

There is also a whole load of guilt for parents who made their child wondering if its their fault their child is not 'normal' (sorry i hate to use the word but i hope it makes sense).

Maybe don't bring these things up as often? I'm not really sure how to make your parents understand, perhaps if you haven't already, leave them some written information to help them understand and read in their own time?

Steel Maiden · 28-09-2011, 06:53 PM

Thanks both of you.

My mum, sadly, will never understand Asperger's because she is the complete opposite (full of emotion, loves social situations and going to parties, uses her emotions instead of logic etc).

But I'm going to give my dad the Asperger's book I have by Tony Attwood.

But I won't discuss it with my mum at all. I will ask my dad what he understands about it after he reads the book.

I found it hard to accept my schizophrenia diagnosis at first, but now I'm somewhat "used to" it. As for Asperger's, I am quite proud of it in some ways as it has qualities as well as disadvantages.

Ellyx · 28-09-2011, 07:02 PM

I am, in a way proud to be aspergers. I don't discuss it with my dad, becuase he doesn't belive in "syndromes" as he calls them. He just thinks it's bad anti-social behavior.

My mom is abit more understanding, though she think i should have it becuase "its only boys who get aspergers" and she don't want to admit there is a problem.

And i have that book :D

Steel Maiden · 28-09-2011, 09:02 PM

Ella, yup, there are good points about Asperger's (although I hate the sensory overload and panic attacks I get). I'm sorry to hear that your dad doesn't understand. Your mum doesn't sound too understanding either tbh. I think there is a general misunderstanding about Asperger's. It's a good book :)

ironholly · 03-10-2011, 02:24 AM

tbh i have freinds with aspergers and i see it can be quite a advantage in some aspects as majority of people with it have very high IQ and the fact that they have some for of obsessions meen what ever you choses to go into you will excell highly in it and can become one of the best. Some people of an older generation though see mental health still as a taboo and they are scared that others may be unfair to you becasue of this. That might be why. But just rember dosnt matter waht lables you have it dsont define you or group you, your still a fantastic indervidual.

Steel Maiden · 03-10-2011, 05:01 AM

Thank you Ironholly.

I call my mental illness and AS combed "neurodiversity", even Meares-Irlen syndrome and possible dyspraxia fits in there. It's easier than saying the whole lot.

I did a google news search on "paranoid schizophrenia" and I got the word "killer" so many times that I got angry.

ironholly · 03-10-2011, 08:09 AM

its been proven that people with paranoid scizophrenia are just as risk of being vilont as the rest of the people in the world

ironholly · 03-10-2011, 08:13 AM

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http://www.thomson-software-solution...en_tinter.html

you can get it out the downloads bit :)