As the title says, it's one of the nicknames people have for me..
You see, I have this thing about grammar and language. If it's not correct, I feel very distressed, angry, disappointed or anxious, without any good reason. (Well, it's incorrect, so that's a good reason, no?)
And, reading around here, I see it all the time. I see it everywhere else as well, and it just annoys me so frigging much that people can't write or spell properly (i.e. mixing "your" with "you're" or "it's" with "its"). Every time I come across a misspelled word or sentence in a post, I stop reading the entire thread/page, and if I see more posts from the same person, I don't read them. Even if they're the ones replied to, and the replies are perfectly alright.
Several of my friends have severe dyslexia, and I can't help but correcting them. When they have too many mistakes in one sentence, I fall into this... rage, and end up "shouting"/"yelling" at them about their mistakes. Hence the nickname.
I'm pretty sure I know why I feel this way about grammar, but it just keeps getting worse. For instance, I didn't go online yesterday because I was terrified of seeing grammar mistakes. What's wrong with me? Why can't I control this?
Does anyone have similar experiences? If so, can you tell me your tricks to somehow relieve the stress and/or be more tolerant towards grammar mistakes/wrong things?
Replies are welcome.. :/
Everything you need is around you.
The only danger is inside you.
So punch another pillow, to make the pain a little less.
And run another race, to make the pace a little faster.
Use another knife, to make the cut a little deeper.
Then shed another tear, to make reality a little truer.
Well I don't suffer with this in a severe way as you do, but it can be frustrating as can make a sentence difficult to understand at times. Maybe trying on here as a start, you could try acceptance that others may not be as confident with their language/spelling/grammer and may have issues with it that frustrates them, because they feel unable to do it as correctly as they would like.
Regarding their replies to posts, try to think of the effort they made in thinking of advice to be able to offer support and help for others when they too are struggling with their own issues.
As long as it is understandable and readable, then that is the main point for most people. Do you feel confident in your own abilities or do you have anxiety that everything is not right or "just so"?
That must be really frustrating for you, and really difficult to deal with. You can start exposing yourself to the feelings and learning that they will go away on their own eventually. You could start by just staring at a miss-spelled word until you no longer feel anxious about it. And then leave it for a bit and come back to it, and repeat the process. Eventually you won't feel anxious about that any more.
Then you work up to other things, like writing mistakes yourself, or reading long passages with bad grammar. If you work slowly with small steps, eventually the things that seem impossible will be managable.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
I get a similar 'grammar nazi' attitude to people not speaking correctly.
there are times when i get the urge to scream their mistakes at them even if they are a complete stranger. I try and handle it by not bursting either calmly pointing out mistakes or concentrating on trying to write out what they should have said.
I find writing more challenging, especially on the computer mainly because i'm not a great at typing, so I tend to notice mistakes less when reading.
Not sure what might help online but thought I would share and try to help.
Jen x
I really wanted to find a mistake in your post so I could correct you.
Same.
But seriously, it sounds very frustrating for you. What is it that you feel when you see a mistake? You say that you get a sudden rage or fury that you end up yelling out at your friends, hence the name 'grammar nazi', but it doesn't seem that it is within your control. It seems a bit like you are more irritated that you react like this to simple mistakes that cannot always be helped. Is there something about control or perfection that you wish to link to?
I've found with things like this, that you have to adjust yourself to being able to 'cope' with the mistakes. I had to do it with plug sockets - I know... but I sort of began by fixating about the fact that they were there and weren't right' in how I wanted them to be. It still annoys me but I can leave a room now because I've played mind games and know that my body will not shut down and the world won't end by leaving one empty plug socket on. I haven't expressed myself terrifically but maybe this is something you could think about?
I hope I have no grammatical mistakes in my post. I most likely have, so apologies for that! Feel free to PM me if you need. Take care of yourself :).
Were you made to behave 'perfectly' as a child, and lived in terror of making a mistake because you feared the consequences?
I grew up in an environment of intolerance where everything I did, even existing was, like, 'wrong', and this has had a reactive impact on me similar to what you describe.
Well I don't suffer with this in a severe way as you do, but it can be frustrating as can make a sentence difficult to understand at times. Maybe trying on here as a start, you could try acceptance that others may not be as confident with their language/spelling/grammer and may have issues with it that frustrates them, because they feel unable to do it as correctly as they would like.
Regarding their replies to posts, try to think of the effort they made in thinking of advice to be able to offer support and help for others when they too are struggling with their own issues.
As long as it is understandable and readable, then that is the main point for most people. Do you feel confident in your own abilities or do you have anxiety that everything is not right or "just so"?
Yes, frustrating indeed! I'm glad I'm not alone in this. *hugs*
I am working on that... but some seem to just not care (i.e. shortenings, incomplete sentences, no apostrophes, or hardly any punctuation marks).
I do. I do... most of the time, at least.
I wouldn't say "confident", but I do try hard to make everything as perfect as I can without overdoing it. Most of the time that's what I do, though. If some things aren't perfect, they're...failed, in need of a better word.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PastExpiration
That must be really frustrating for you, and really difficult to deal with. You can start exposing yourself to the feelings and learning that they will go away on their own eventually. You could start by just staring at a miss-spelled word until you no longer feel anxious about it. And then leave it for a bit and come back to it, and repeat the process. Eventually you won't feel anxious about that any more.
Then you work up to other things, like writing mistakes yourself, or reading long passages with bad grammar. If you work slowly with small steps, eventually the things that seem impossible will be managable.
No, you think? xD I'd underline that first sentence.
And thanks for the advice! I tried that with the one word you misspelled, and it did work... at least a little. After the third time it wasn't so intense, and I did not correct it.
Just wrote that last paragraph down, and I'll give it a try!
Quote:
Originally Posted by long road
I get a similar 'grammar nazi' attitude to people not speaking correctly.
there are times when i get the urge to scream their mistakes at them even if they are a complete stranger. I try and handle it by not bursting either calmly pointing out mistakes or concentrating on trying to write out what they should have said.
I find writing more challenging, especially on the computer mainly because i'm not a great at typing, so I tend to notice mistakes less when reading.
Not sure what might help online but thought I would share and try to help.
Jen x
Yayyy, I'm not alone in that! Except for that the correct spoken language depends on the language. For instance, I don't allow spoken mistakes in English, but I have to allow them (except for cases mistakes) in my mother tongue since there's hardly any standard in it.
Same here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by -Choley
I really wanted to find a mistake in your post so I could correct you.
Hahahahahaha, understandable!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shine.
But seriously, it sounds very frustrating for you. What is it that you feel when you see a mistake? You say that you get a sudden rage or fury that you end up yelling out at your friends, hence the name 'grammar nazi', but it doesn't seem that it is within your control. It seems a bit like you are more irritated that you react like this to simple mistakes that cannot always be helped. Is there something about control or perfection that you wish to link to?
I've found with things like this, that you have to adjust yourself to being able to 'cope' with the mistakes. I had to do it with plug sockets - I know... but I sort of began by fixating about the fact that they were there and weren't right' in how I wanted them to be. It still annoys me but I can leave a room now because I've played mind games and know that my body will not shut down and the world won't end by leaving one empty plug socket on. I haven't expressed myself terrifically but maybe this is something you could think about?
I hope I have no grammatical mistakes in my post. I most likely have, so apologies for that! Feel free to PM me if you need. Take care of yourself :).
I feel like I HAVE to correct it to make it good. To fit it into my system. And when it's someone else's mistake, I'm usually unable to correct it (like in chats, I can't edit shouts), and that... well. It does something to me. There's the perfection thing, I need things to be sorted. I need everything to be placed in some sort of system, no matter how silly it looks or seems from the outside.
As I said earlier, I'm trying to do just that. But it takes so much time... and effort.
It's okay. And alright, thanks :) you take care too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stellata
Were you made to behave 'perfectly' as a child, and lived in terror of making a mistake because you feared the consequences?
I grew up in an environment of intolerance where everything I did, even existing was, like, 'wrong', and this has had a reactive impact on me similar to what you describe.
No, it was more like the other way around. Very few things were certain in my life, and I needed to hold on to something. Eventually, that became language as it was the first thing I really mastered. At some point I was blamed for starting a whole lot of stuff, and I became even more fixated on the idea of making everything perfect. Yes, to avoid the consequences, which were.. terrible :/
Oh my, I'm so sorry to hear.. *hug*
Things can change, though! And usually for the better.
Everything you need is around you.
The only danger is inside you.
So punch another pillow, to make the pain a little less.
And run another race, to make the pace a little faster.
Use another knife, to make the cut a little deeper.
Then shed another tear, to make reality a little truer.
I also have a high standard for grammar and spelling. I very rarely use "text speak", even in text messages! Luckily my boyfriend is majoring in English at school but even my own mother misspells and uses grammar that would offend some sensibiilites. ("I might can help you with that", "You might could take him", etc)
Although I see awful spelling and grammar EVERYWHERE it doesn't quite drive me berserk.
No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.
I also have a high standard for grammar and spelling. I very rarely use "text speak", even in text messages! Luckily my boyfriend is majoring in English at school but even my own mother misspells and uses grammar that would offend some sensibiilites. ("I might can help you with that", "You might could take him", etc)
Although I see awful spelling and grammar EVERYWHERE it doesn't quite drive me berserk.
Same here! I avoid all forms of text speak except for when I want to be funny or something..
Wah. Damn, that must be tiring... for me, it would, at least. And then you're lucky!
Quote:
Originally Posted by lostandalone3
Shouldnt Nazi be spelt with a capital????????
Should it?
Everything you need is around you.
The only danger is inside you.
So punch another pillow, to make the pain a little less.
And run another race, to make the pace a little faster.
Use another knife, to make the cut a little deeper.
Then shed another tear, to make reality a little truer.
I have been following this thread but have been too scared to post... my spelling and grammar are awful, I actually have a computer programme which writes for me as I speak, but even it gets things wrong as, well computers are limited and my speech is not amazing. I have a feeling though that if I turned it off and just wrote myself you may have a heart attack or something :P
I guess, though, that everyone has things which frustrate or annoy them. As far as language goes one thing which really annoys me is when people say "a" instead of "I" (when people say "shouldn't a?" I feel like screaming at them - especially problematic as I used to live in York and everyone there seems to substitute A for I). I also hate "text speak", but that is mainly as I just cannot read it... To me "text speak" just looks like a mess of random lines, then again I cannot read uppercase writing so I guess I am not a normal case.
I like the suggestion of trying to slowly build up your tolerance, although I am not sure on how you would go about doing that. I guess by things such as purposely reading things written incorrectly or even writing things incorrectly yourself.
How are you with things such as old English, or even Shakespearian English? As those can be correct for the time they were written, but technically incorrect by today’s rules/standards.
Just thought cos Nazi is a "name " of something it should be. I just googled it haha and from what I can see most of those websites have Nazi with a capital N.
