Addictions to helplines?

AppleJuice. · 30-03-2011, 11:32 PM

I'm worried I have an addiction to calling the Samaritans/ChildLine etc. and I am a little nervous that you guys will all think it's really stupid! I call them every couple of days and sometimes it can range to everyday or more. It has been happening increasingly over the past two/three months or so when things have seemed to worsen and it does depend on how bad my day is but I am scared that it is becoming quite irritating for them, even though it's anonymous and they don't know who I am, as I know I'm wasting time I don't deserve and blah blah blah. I know I shouldn't rely upon these services but I don't know what else to do. I just feel so alone everywhere else in my life. Is this really bad? What can I do to stop it?

ASkatersDream... · 30-03-2011, 11:46 PM

I used to call them everyday I used to alternate between childline, nspcc, samaritans and some other one I can't remember of.

I can't think of any useful advice but this is to show you're not alone xx

Fry · 30-03-2011, 11:55 PM

I can understand why you've been phoning them a lot if you're feeling so alone, but they're really only meant to be used in emergency.

It might be better to try and build a social life healthily so you aren't feeling lonely.

shadow-light · 31-03-2011, 12:09 AM

I used to be a childline volunteer and we had a lot of people who called regularly... we even organised with some people a particular time each week to call so that they could take to the same person. So you are defantly not the only one to rely on them heavily.

As has been said though in the long term it would probably be best for you to gain some real life people to support you. DO you have any interests that you could pursue? Often a "side-effect" of hobbies is to gain a social life

Sleepless123 · 31-03-2011, 02:26 AM

Yep ChildLine gave me someone to speak to at the same time every week [about ten years ago now when i was a lot younger lol!] so some people do need them a lot - your not alone.

i used to use helplines an awful lot when i was 17/18.And all different places too.ChildLine, Samaratians, loads of them all at different points but probably certainly too many to remember or mention. And apart from all the different people [cos i was calling various places at various points and obviously some like the Samaratians it wasnt always the same person for me in fact it rarely was] i actually found it really useful.

But i do too think i did get addicted/extremely reliant on these services and unhealthily so.i did need them and was often in extreme distress but there were times i probably should have sought other resorces closer in location to me etc and when i rang them/relied on them too much.And like you i actually became quite worried about how much i needed to rely on them after quite a while.

im not sure where this is going.im probably not gonna say anything helpful here - im trying to think what advice to give.

Maybe at least see if you could get into a regular slot with either someone from one specific helpline or with a young peoples counsellor somewhere for a bit and then know you have that each week or however you want to set it and then kind of make a deal with yourself you know the helplines are there and you will use them in an emergency, you can still have that but apart from that just know you have that time each week set up and knowing that might comfort you a bit too?And try to stick mainly to only seeking out that type of support at the agreed times.

But having said that i would hate you to feel you had to cope alone in dire crisis so its hard to advise on a balance really.And im gonna stop waffling.

But yeah if you wanna talk about this more feel free to PM.i can definitely relate even if it was some years ago!Its odd - i suffer from chronic anxiety and i really struggle to use the phone now.Oh how things have changed!

i hope things arent too bad for you right now and your finding you way through.

By the way i think you were really brave to make this thread and i dont think your stupid at all.i just wish i could help you more but well done for posting and as i said if you ever want to talk more im here and your definitely not alone!

Also of course dont feel that you have to answer this but do you currently have any professional support for anything your struggling with?If not would you consider this?

And im gonna shut up now!Sorry its so long.

xx xx

AppleJuice. · 31-03-2011, 02:39 AM

Thanks for your suggestions. Honestly, it's nice to know I'm not alone.

I-Heart-Hobbit, I'm trying to build up my social life as I realise that a possible lack of one is limiting me here, it's just difficult. I am out quite a lot considering, I'm just in quite a lot too and that means being alone with my thoughts. I can't be with people all of the time - perhaps I need a project, I don't know. I don't really know how to address this.

Sleepless123, I'll have a think about what you've said. Don't worry, you've said quite as much as you wanted to and that's fine. I have some professional support but I don't see the guy again for a number of weeks. This means that I'll be even more alone and I dislike relying on anybody else at all... :/

I think I'm addicted to talking... I might be talking nonsense but I never talk to people and bottle it all up so it's very different for me to talk to people non-stop. Maybe I find it relaxing and that's why I ring these helplines so much, to have someone listen to me. I am difficult to talk to in the outside world and quite resistant to help so having a place where I can let my guard down is quite theraputic. Though, I am stupid and useless so this might not really be consequential at all.

Snow White. · 31-03-2011, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AppleJuice

I think I'm addicted to talking... I might be talking nonsense but I never talk to people and bottle it all up so it's very different for me to talk to people non-stop.

Would journalling help you? I love to talk too - I love to muse through my thoughts and tell stories about my day and things that have been happening. When I can't get it out by speaking I write it down and it helps to get it out of my head - releases the pressure in my head going "must tell someone this!". Maybe you could start an online journal? (I have it on a computer so I can type as fast as my thoughts!) I know it's not the same but it might help to get the thoughts out.

lozza · 02-04-2011, 06:02 AM

no advice but I do understand

AppleJuice. · 08-06-2011, 11:01 AM

It's still a problem. I tried to cut it down more recently and went about a week but it got quite difficult and I had to give in again. I don't know what to do. I know I need to seek alternate and better support and I am trying really hard to sit with my friends or call crisis team (I've only done that once) or talk to someone else if I am in distress it's just, late at night, I don't want to annoy anyone and that's the worst time.

Then, I worry that if I keep talking to my friends and stuff (though I don't do it loads) they'll get really sick of me and it will get too much to them. It's my problem, I'm the idiot here and so I don't want to upset anyone else.

And sometimes it's nice to have a calm voice at the end of the phone when I'm finding it really hard to focus or be a normal human being.

I don't know whether to tell them the next time I call about the fact that I worry it is becoming a problem. They might laugh at me or something but I am sure that with some of them it is clicking that I call a reasonable amount. Or I could just try (after exams) to lessen this reliance a bit and stop being useless?

& I do journal, a lot, it's actually having someone care I think? I feel a bit of stupid saying that.