Coping with neighbour noise

[Stellata]

Earlier, next door [in their kids' room] had music on WAY too loud, in the room next door to my bedroom. I was kind of losing it, and have been yelling, slamming doors etc. I moved to the kitchen [where it's exceedingly freezing] to try and calm down. I was really losing it. Can't I have some peace and quiet? Can't they move a stereo away from a wall? Or use ear phones? Or just, like, have it on in a different room?

They went out, thankfully. I hope it is quiet this evening. I can't go round there and ask them to turn it down. It's probably not even THAT loud. Not to other ears. I can't go round after losing it. They'll have heard. And my flatmates are all keep in with the neighbours and be nice and he is the one that goes round cos he can like mediate and such. I'm on my own here until Tuesday.

I just go into fight mode and feel powerless and helpless with noise. It pushes into my boundaries and I don't feel safe. It feels like they're doing it to upset and bully me. I know that's unlikely, but it's how it feels and I just bypass any sensibility and go into primitive defence angry mode.

If it happens again, how can I cope without losing it? I'm so much better at regulating my emotions generally, and now this again. [PMS doesn't help, heh.]

Ideas welcome, please. Thanks.

[Steel Maiden]

I have hyperacusis. I bought some industrial-grade ear mufflers. They're big but they're pretty good. I wear them at home if there is loud noise around me. If I'm out I wear earplugs and/or my noise-cancelling headphones. I completely understand your pain; I get reactions to even someone shouting in the same room as me

[shadow-light]

eugh I can relate. Back home I have very noice naighbours, and at the moment I am staying with family and they are A) noicey and B) never seem to give me a second to myself. Literally feel like going a bit mad, all my muscels have been clenched and it's almost as if things are louder/fashers/somethinger than they should be. I feel like my family are purposely tryig to push me over the edge then though I know that's stupid.

Back in London I tend to go for a walk to calm things down a bit, also I find that listening to my own music with headphones helps (can't cope with ear plugs as they make me anxious that something will happen that I won't hear and so will end up in danger).
Here though I cant go for a walk nor use headphones, so really not sure what to do .


I find that often just knowing that there's somewhere I can go where I'll be alone and in the quiet helps.

[Stellata]

Thanks.

It's been quiet all day. And now the kids are home.
It's almost worse today - bad rap. I literally cannot stay in my room with that coming through the wall.
It's gone quieter now. Maybe they heard me slamming my door as I went to the kitchen. [No yelling today, I am trying.] So I'm back in my room.
It is literally 8 degrees C. in our kitchen, no joke. So it's either peace and freeze or noise and rage, at times.

One of my flatmates is back on Tuesday. Maybe he can have a word with the neighbours. But it sounds so controlling to ask them to move a stereo or to use headphones if they must have it loud, or turn it down.

I can't wait to get back to work!

Oly, where would I get mufflers from? We have some builders type shops and a Wickes near me, could I get some from there? [Or maybe ask my flatmate to do the errand for me, heh. Me not being a builder type. lol]

[Pomegranate]

Hi Katie :)

I have this problem as well. In fact you kindly commented when I was upset about my neighbours too. I was just wondering, if until you got hold of the mufflers (incidentally I would like to know where to get them as well), if there was anything else you could do. Do you have any calming music you find helps relax you generally? I don't know where your bathroom is but maybe you could run yourself a bubble bath and listen to some music, just to kind of try and remove yourself from the situation for a while? Its just that I tend to feel safer if I am in one room, as far away from the source of the noise as possible and trying to focus on something else.

Sorry I can't be more help. Maybe the kids noise levels will calm down when they go back to school?

*leaves some safe hugs*

[startingagain]

You could call the council, but if you can't hear it in the kitchen I suspect it isn't loud enough to make a complaint. It could be that they have the stereo next to your wall and your flatmate could ask if they could move it and that will reduce the vibration. Earphones and listening to 'white' noise can help.

[Leni]

I wear earplugs quite often. You can get them from pretty much any high street chemist, but I tend to buy quite a lot at a time online. They're not ideal but can give you a bit of quiet when it gets too much.

[offlineforever]

Quote:

Originally Posted by startingagain

You could call the council, but if you can't hear it in the kitchen I suspect it isn't loud enough to make a complaint.

Depends on the council I suppose, in my hometown (York) my neighbours music was keeping me awake, but everyone else in the family was asleep however it was 2am and I wanted to sleep. So I rang a special noise environment line for weekend evenings and they came round and listened to it in my room, they agreed that it was too loud for me to sleep with. They went round to my neighbours and told him to turn it down, and he got a verbal warning for it.

It's worth looking at what the council can do, as you shouldn't be disturbed by noises from neighbours

[startingagain]

You were lucky. I had to keep logs and that was even after calling at 4am, 6am etc and it was so loud you could hear it through the whole house. Thankfully they moved. If different councils have different rules it is certainly worth trying.

[Stellata]

Thanks everyone.

When they're back at school, I'm back at work.... sigh.. But at least they'll go to bed earlier. They're about 9 years old, these boys, and they were still chatting away loudly last night at gone 10. [Unfortunately I'm an early to bed person, especially in the Winter. Also I have to take my meds by 10.30pm at the latest.]

I did buy myself a new pair of ear plugs today [my old ones were pretty good, but have only been using one for a while - in the ear that's not on the side on the pillow! - since the other disappeared into the far off bed ether somewhere!]. Am sat wearing them now. They're not perfect, but muffle things a bit.
I also have assorted calming music on my mp3 player. :)

I think, bottom line, I really do need some kind of prn type medication when I'm pre-menstrual. And especially when I'm stressed about the future of my employment AND pre-menstrual...

The reason why I can't hear them in the kitchen isn't really anything to do with the noise level as such, more a result of the layout of the flats - ground floor Victorian terraced maisonettes, where the kitchen is an add-on at the back, and not attached to any other house.

I work in the same building as a One Stop Shop part of the week, I'll have a chat with one of the ladies who run it, as they're really nice.

[startingagain]

You could hear my neighbours several houses away, which is why I don't have much faith in the council doing anything. As different councils appear to have different policies if the earphones or mediation don't work then I hope your council is more effective.

[Stellata]

Thanks.

The earphones are helping quite a bit. I'll see how things go.

[Steel Maiden]

Katie, I'm sorry for the late reply. I ordered my ear mufflers off the internet. I can't remember the site though, sorry

[hidingme]

hey katie we are replying late to this too..sorry.
we , too, have loud neighbors. we have thin walls on our mobile home and we can hear our neighbor's talking on their porch, yelling, closing car doors and even when they go trhu the man's tool box on the truck or take things from the back of the truck.. it really makes me mad cause its usually early in the morning or after dark. sometimes thet really freak sarah out too esp if she is one of her agoraphobic/paranoid moods.
All we can do is mention their loudness to the landlords and hopethey will have them be quieter.. sometimes we don't even mention it and the landlord will ask us if the neighbors have been loud or disturbing.. i suposse sometime thimes their neighbors on the other side of them complain. *shrug*
anyhow we can sympathize.. hope the neighbors have quieted down now for you.
we miss you, katrina and trini and hope ya'll are doing alright.
SADIE

[Stellata]

Thanks.

You know, it's weird, because all my flatmates are now back, and I'm fine with their 'noise'. It even helps me feel safer. But then, maybe it's not so weird...

[EndOfDaze]

I have really noisy neighbours too and I did infact lose it once and went mad so my mum ended up asking them what they were doing that was so loud etc - turns out they were making a bed!
But in all serious I know how you feel with loud noises like banging etc. I can't stand them and someone shouting gets me anxious so I start shouting myself! I usually close my eyes and try to think I'm somewhere else for a while till the noise stops - it usually helps :)

I hope you don't mind my post

Tasha xo

[Stellata]

Thanks Tasha, no, I don't mind at all.
Seems like hormones are the real nasty trigger in me to being more sensitive than my already intense sensitivity to noise.... I haven't found a way around that yet.

[worthless x]

Hey honey, I understand 100% how you feel about the bullying. Why can't you ask them to turn it down? Is it because your alone or because your flat mates are friends with them?

They actually cant have music blasting at all, I mean why do you may for Rent & Tax etc if you can't even have quietness in your own house??!

If your in the UK you can phone the "Anti-Social". You can maybe get your local "Anti Social" phone number from your Council Web site. I seen mine written on a wall in my Local "Citizens Advice Bureau" building.

On here: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/crimejus...ion/dg_4001652 it says night time noise is only between 11pm and 7am. However, I don't think anyone in the world has the right to make a lot of noise or have music blasting in their house if there are other houses around you, especially if its in a flat.

You can take this matter to your local council, anti-social, and local Police. You can do all three of these in person or by telephone. When you talk to them, bring up the matter that you had to go into your Kitchen where it was very cold. Also say that you just wish your neighbours could "move a stereo away from a wall? Or use ear phones? Or just, like, have it on in a different room?" Because I think your council/police would see that from your side.

My older brother has Tinnitus which is a loud ringing noise in his ears, so he seems to talk "louder" and when he has the "TV on it is loud", however; He lives in a house not a flat, so no one is around him or near him and the tv would be 3 rooms away from another house. Even so, he never has the TV up that loud, its just louder than I would have it up, but its not exactly loud, so no one can even use the excuse of their Music has to be up loud, especially if they don't have any problems with their hearing.

I hope this advice/talk helps. Sorry if it doesn't.

Hope your well. KEEP SAFE! Don't let anyone get to you!!! xxxx.

[Stellata]

Thanks.
It's been much quieter the past little while. So I'll see how things go.

[Steel Maiden]

I hope it continues to be quieter