Eating making you feel dirty?

[belladonnakitten]

When i feel full with food, i feel really dirty, but sometimes almost in a sexual way, like someone has touched me and i didn't want them to. I don't know why i feel like this, anyone else get like that?

probably sounds really weird.

[shadow-light]

I have issues with food making me feel "contaminated" it's not quite the same but kind of similar? I can never eat until I am full due to this, I just hate the feeling so much, and I started avoiding certain ingredients/foods due to it too


Have you spoken to anyone about this?

[belladonnakitten]

I've never actually seen anyone about my food issues, because i am kinda scared they would force me to eat? I just know if i do then my bf who i live with will watch that i eat three meals a day and that is too scary for me. He was once monitoring what i ate, and it was so stressful, i almost felt like running away, so now he doesn't make me eat as much, but he makes me eat something in the day, which i guess is good. My bmi is high though, so i am very scared of gaining anymore weight.

I eat quite well now mostly anyway, i just get scared of the thought of someone making me eat when i don't feel like it. I remember i told my therapist about it once and he seemed really concerned so i got kinda worried and the next week told him it was all sorted.

I do want to get better, but i feel like i want to do it in my own time, without anyone controlling what i eat.

[when.will.it.end]

You shouldn't have to lie to your boyfriend or therapist or be forced to do something that's not good for you. It's helpful to get support with eating when you feel like it's hard but being forced is sort of the same thing as the reasons behind it in the first place, if that makes sense.

I completely relate. I feel the same when I eat, it's horrible. I think you should get help though, you deserve support for it. Do you know what it's linked to? Do you still have a therapist?

[stellaforstar]

I used to feel this way all the time; like I had done something really awful, like...masturbatory or something. I feel this way now when I have a GOOD meal, like when I am taking care of myself. Taking care of myself=something shameful...definitely a lesson I learned growing up. The feeling is lessening as I begin to understand the distortion in my thinking.