so i know people self harm for different reasons, whether it be because they want to feel something, or whether it be a way of release, etc.
so why is it that YOU self harm? what does it do that makes it so important ur unable to stop?
for me, its because i hate myself and in the pain i find comfort. it feels good to hurt myself. it takes away some of the emotional pain. is there anyone else who feels this way?
i am not saying SH is a good thing or in anyway glamourising or encouraging it, just wondering what the others out there are feeling becoz no one i know does it and i have no one to speak to. i feel very lonely :(
hey this site is here so you dont have to feel lonely.
I guess when I started it was because I was numb. I was so depressed I didnt feel real, but I new the pain was real, it made me real it made me know I existed. I felt like such a ghost in my own life.
But skip ahead a few years and over the last few years I say i did it because I hated myself, and recently it was because I hated myself for not respecting myself and because I feel lonely being stuck at home all day
Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are
It relieves anxiety. Blood helps me relax. I think i am a bad person so I feel like I deserve to punish myself. I hate how it calms me down so much...Such a bad road to go down...
Hi hun , hopefully your arent feeling as lonely as there are alot of times when you think ' am the only one who does this' when really alot of people on this board could have done in the past / or present , so try not to feel as lonely.
As far as the reasons why i cut, i do it for a number of reasons normally emotions am finding hard to deal with eg, angry, sadness, hopeless, depression if am frustrated sometimes if am bored sometimes i use it as a punishment alot of the time it is for control. These are only a few though pretty much every emotion i have come across i have sh because of that emotion even when am happy.
1. It's something that I feel (or at least used to feel) that I could control
2. It's a form of self-punishment for things, and to punish aeras of the body that feel like have betrayed us
3. In an attempt to make the body disgusting and awful so that noone would ever want to be near it and so noone could hurt it/us
4. To feel that people care and that we matter - as we generally only feel loved or cared about when hurt/ill/injured
5. As a sort of grounding method for flashbacks and dissociation
1. To control something
2. To punish myself
3. To justify the pain I'm feeling
4. To see the blood run
5. Endorphins?
May you grow up to be righteous,
May you grow up to be true,
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you.
May you always be courageous,
Stand upright and be strong,
May you stay forever young
Feel free to message me if you ever need ANYTHING
Most of the time I SI to make myself a better person. It's like, if I punish myself when I do something bad, or even feel bad, I'll not do it again. But when I do it wrong again, I want to hurt myself worse. So it's not a good idea… it just never feel like anything will fix me besides hurting myself.
And sometimes I just hurt inside. Like an deep ache in the center of my chest and it lessens when I hurt myself. It moves to the surface. I think it might be like what you were saying about the emotional pain stuff.
Silence can be golden but gold can sometimes suffocate
Like that girl in that James Bond film, too late to respirate
Tragedy can be plain to see with lights and sirens
But sometimes it ain't quite so clear, Domestic Silence
~Scroobius Pip
o hunny dont feel lonely!! i feel the same way,,but ive come to a point where i just keep telling myself that i dont need it and dont like it, my heart says no but my mind says yes..its confusing as you probably know..but dont feel lonely kid!! you can definatley talk to me whenever you would like k?? (:
You're not alone, there are millions of people who can understand & relate.
Please keep posting & talking about how you feel.
It helps a lot to talk.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : May trigger, wanted to put a warning just in case.
For me I SH because of;
Abuse, neglect, bullying, fear, anger, anxiety, feeling broken inside, grief & loss, feeling depressed, feeling out of control, cutting on impulse, feeling numb, feeling disconnected, a need for release, an urge to see blood, an urge to see wounds, needing to just get through the day, punishment, quite a lot of reasons, they vary, as you can see.
I've been self harming since I was 7, so the reasons have changed a lot over the years, but these are the ones that come to mind first.
I hope the above if you've read it helps you feel less alone & more understood & please feel free to talk to me anytime if you'd like to.
You're not alone, hun - we're all here for you.
There are so many threads like these about why do 'you' self-harm. You could find other people's answers there too.
I self-harm to get rid of tension, stress, pressure, to feel something when I am 'numb' and 'empty', to see blood, to feel 'alive', to gain control. Lots of other reasons too, but those tend to be my main ones.
don't feel alone :) i agree with you about how its easier, so so so much easier, to feel physical pain rather than emotional pain.
i guess my reasons are:
1. it's something i have control over, entirely my decision.
2. i feel bad for the things i think/the situation i got into, i feel i deserve to be hurt.
3. it's become a habit.
The closest I can get apart from that it's now become a habit I crave is that at the point of cutting it's cos I want to show people how much I'm hurting. I don't tell people, I cover it up but at that moment I'm sure I'm craving them to find out.
You're not alone. *Offers hugs* Just to say - I'm here if you ever want to talk or anything.
What I get out of self-harm has changed a bit over the years.. when I first started it was really just that I was very unhappy and self-harming took the focus off that.. it made me feel calmer and made it easier to sleep at night.
I stopped, and started again a year or so later - I was 16 - and then, it was mainly about validation. I didn't tell anyone, but I had a lot of stuff going on in my life and I was hurting a lot and seeing how much I could hurt myself on the outside.. it was confirming to myself that my emotional pain was real, what I had been through was 'a big deal'.
Then stopped for a good while and when I started again it was at a time when I was feeling worse than I ever have, and it was all very messed up and a case of "bargaining" with - myself, I suppose - "If I do X, I won't have to kill myself" and so on, which was again, a way to take the focus off all the negative stuff, the result of an incredible amount of hatred directed towards myself, and kind of seemed like something I "had" to do and something that everyone wanted me to do..
And now I'm trying to stop. And I can kind of see that it isn't actually going to help with any of those feelings in the long run.
Started with frustration and feeling depressed, nowadays it's to feel like i'm in control of something, something nobody can take away from me, ever, it's mine, but also to get rid of feelings of hopelessness and frustration, sometimes anger.
