Is it just me, or does anyone else find some overused words are kind of... I don't know, condescending? Patronising?
The ones I'm talking about are things like 'hun' and 'sweetie'. I really don't like being called things like that, and to me, they just seem like the person is somehow looking down on me or something. Does anyone else feel like that?
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
I don't mind from people I know. At times, from strangers it's a bit O_O especially if it's every other word. Other times though, it's just what's needed.
I don't mind if it's from people I know && I use them sometimes (in most cases where I know or am close to the person) but I've seen some posts where it looks really condescending, I mean them being used like multiple times.
I don't think a lot can really be done about it though?
I find it uncomfortable, especially when I don't even know the person. I don't think there's anything to be done as such, but by raising the issue people may take into consideration that such overly affectionate language can make people feel patronised etc.
I tend to sort of skim over those words. Some people just use them alot, I doubt they are trying to be patronising its just how they speak (/type). I know someone offline who uses "hun" constantly though so maybe I just got used to it
I find it hard, because I use words like 'darling' and 'love' in real life, so I don't think twice about using them online - but I think that's slightly different, because I don't use it unless it's somebody that I know reaaally well.
But I do find 'hun' and 'sweetie', in particular, quite annoying; I think you're right in that it comes across as patronising and condescending. But people use it as a term of affection, and of reassurance. The challenge is, we don't want to discourage positive and reassuring replies, and there will be people - for example, me when I first joined RYL - who really do appreciate the comfort and support. Perhaps we could just ask that people think a little about who they're replying to, and whether the term is appropriate for the audience? I don't know.
Owh I call people 'babe/darling/sweetpea' all the time and Im not patronising I dont think?x
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I call my fiancee baby girl/baby/angel & I call my friends/close friends honey/sweetie/lovely/babe, & they like it & don't mind it.
If it's used by a stranger/overused, ie; It's okay hun, don't worry hun, I'm here for you sweetie, then that's a bit ... o.O weird. But, yeah. I don't mind it & most if not all people I know don't mind it either & actually like it/prefer it than without those use of words.
I think it depends where you're from as well, round here everyone says "chuck" and "love" and things to women and "mate" to men, even strangers in the street or shops.
I tend to use affectionate language because it's what I'm used to and was brought up with, and because when I'm replying to posts on this site I'm usually trying to reassure someone.
I'd actually find it a bit hurtful if someone turned round and accused me of being patronizing when I was genuinely offering support and reassurance.
This doesn't really bother me all that much. But I know it bothers quite a few other people so I try not to say things like that unless the person says it's okay to do so. xx
