im 18 and ive been thinking about my scars and my future recently. like when i get married people will see them unless i wear a long sleeved dress. what do i say to my children? (if i have them) what about going on holiday with them? taking them swimming? what about when im pregnant and i have scars on my tummy? will they take any children i have away from me? its really been playing on my mind so i was just wondering what you older members do and your experiences? do you cover them? sorry im just getting a little anxious. thanks in advance.
My scars are faded now and I don't cover them or hide them... People don't even notice in day to day instances. I have 3 children and no one has even tried to take my children away because of this. My children haven't asked about them either. *huggles*
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
I dont think you have to worry about your children been taken away as if they are healed then they just show what a strong person you are for overcoming stuff. Scars are just a part of who you are x x
perhaps you could use these thoughts as a reason to try refrain from self harm i find that people dont ask about my scars i have no children but i think that as long as you are no risk to your children then there is no reason why they shouldnt stay with you, by that stage hopefully you wil have stopped
i really doubt if you have children they will be taken from you. SI is a mental illness but you can still be a great Mom.
also, my sister's wedding is this July and im wearing a summer dress and i have horrendous scars on my hands and arms but there is no way to cover them. and my family know about my SI. i havent done it in months and the wedding helps me not to do it.
and as far as getting married. whoever you marry should acknowledge your illness for what it is and love you anyway. if he doesnt , he's not worth marrying(thats just my opinion).
scars fade in time. They may be bearly nticable by the time you get married/have children. You can even help this by taking vitamin-E tablets and massaging the areas with moisturisers (or bio-oil maybe)
and you can always get some camoflague make-up if they really concern you.
I very very rarely get people asking about my scars, and even when they do hey rarely assume self-harm, I think we only think that way as we are part of this "world" as it were.
I used to feel like that, but I think I'd kind of miss my scars now. I had some melanomic moles and the nurses photographing them said 'oh, lots of scars here' but then left it. The only person I think they really bother is my mum, but the number of times she sees the ones other on my arms and legs in minimal. TBH I have relapsed a bit and I do scar whether it's an operation or a papercut, but I see them as part of me. Bit of a ramble but, do you get what I mean? x
I used to feel exactly the same as you, but I have learned to accept my scars and that they are a part of me. I no longer feel ashamed about wearing short-sleeve tops when it's hot, and I swim aswell because I love it. I have had no uncomfortable questions asked yet, and my scars are very obvious. I want children, and if they ask me about them I will tell them the truth (in a child-friendly way). There is no need to feel ashamed or to let them stop you living your life the way you want to.
I hope that you can come to believe that too.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
I agree with the fact that scars are nothing to be ashamed of but mine have made my professional life a nightmare. It's worth remembering you will have scars even if it doesn't stop you from SHing, if you think about scars before you do it one day you might decide the relief you will get won't outway having a scar xoxo
They won't take your children away from you because of scars. As far as displaying scars in public, just pretend they weren't there. My scars are on my upper left arm, so their only visible when I don't wear a shirt or wear a shirt that is sleeveless. If anyone asks (and it is rare), I tell them to not worry about it, if they persist, that I fell of my bike when I was young and landed on a broken bottle.
wow guys. thanks so much for the advice. you have all inspired me that when i recover will not boil in long sleeves. i will ignore them. they are part of me and if you dont like it then tough! thanks sooo sooo sooo much. i feel better now. every one of you are amazing and strong. i am so grateful to be part of such a community. RYL is awesome :) :)
RYL is indeed awesome. I've tried lots of support sites in the past but only ever come back to two... RYL and LifeSigns (Now FirstSigns).
But always remember... the more you notice them or hide them, the more attention you draw to them. I wear short sleeves often (all summer and some of the rest of the year if I'm not going to be out in the snow much) and my coworkers assumed I was referring to marks from blood draws and insulin and the like when I referred to the scars on my arm one time. My scars are on my wrist and a couple are raised even if they are faded. The reason is I act like they aren't there. When I slipped up and had a small cut that was a scratch really I hid it which made everyone ask about it.
:)
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
I havent read it all, but htis thread has stayed with me..why?
Because my scars affect my everyday life...if you can stop now, minimise the damage..do anything you can to make that happen...it only gets worse, sad to say...
I wish I could have known how I would feel, years later...when it was too late.
