was it my fault?

Stellata · 02-04-2010, 05:41 PM

I know I have a thing with getting hostile and aggressive at times about my space. But it's been much calmer lately.

Then this morning in Tesco I was walking around the clothing, which is pretty narrow. I turned the corner to be confronted by a woman with a huge trolley containing a child. She said "excuse me" and the trolley was practically in my stomach! I thought I was quite reasonable, and said "can you just give me some time to move back?" as she was edging her trolley further forward. I thought my tone of voice was pretty polite. But maybe not, because she said "you don't have to be so rude!" I felt ashamed and chastened and sad and hurt. Because the one time I felt I was being reasonable and not rude, I get told I am! And that ... hurts. It wasn't like it was easy to back up, the clothing section being somewhat maze like. It's not really wide enough for trolleys in the first place. Maybe I was rude, even though I didn't feel it, as, after all, I was tired, and had bad period cramps.

Was I being rude? Was I in the wrong?
Or was I actually being reasonable?

Sefka · 02-04-2010, 06:03 PM

It doesn't sound like you were being rude. Just... y'know, trying to get out of the way.
Just think of it this way - right now, she doesn't even remember who you are. If you could approach her now and apologise, she wouldn't have a clue who you were or what you were doing. It's gone, it's done with. Try to let it go.
Hugs.
xxx

Becca · 02-04-2010, 07:34 PM

Maybe she was having a bad day? It sounds like you were quite reasonable Katie.

Scarletdreamer · 02-04-2010, 07:37 PM

I agree with both Sefka and Becca. Sounds like you were reasonable, especially since you said that the clothing area is like a maze, not easy to back up in. So I don't think it was your fault at all. I think she was just cranky.

*gentle hugs*

Fry · 03-04-2010, 03:23 AM

it's hard to know, without hearing your actual tone of voice but i think the likelihood is that she was just being stroppy and impatient.

Mandimoo · 04-04-2010, 02:16 AM

hey hun, as a mother having been in those situations its easy to lose your rag. like oyu say its not big enough to get trolleys round and i bet every corner there was someone else, its hard to see when you have a child as well.

that being said, you weren't rude at all, its just the situation getting to the mother. mand x

akita · 04-04-2010, 03:43 PM

I'd say it was her fault and she was the rude one for pushing her trolley even closer towards you. You were never rude or at fault.

Eleanor Rigby · 13-04-2010, 04:49 PM

I know just how you feel. People like that drive me mad. I was walking along a narrow pavement one evening and three men were coming the other way, walking in a line. I had no way to move aside (unless I stepped into oncoming traffic or somehow miraculously managed to pass through a wall) and the guy closest to me was talking to his friends, not looking forwards (he was also holding a lit cigarette down by his side) and walked smack into me, bumping me into the wall and getting ash down my sleeve. He then looked and me and said FFS, as though it were my fault.

shadow-light · 13-04-2010, 07:27 PM

I don't think you were being rude. To be honest it that had happened to me and the woman had reacted like that I'd probably have burst into tears and run out of the shop. Actually that's part of the reason that I don't go into shops if I can avoid it lol

I guess maybe her child had been a pain (as they often are when shoping) and she was getting impatient generally... don't know