I went to see my God-Son last weekend. Hes lovely. :) He's 5 now. He greets you at the door and in his overly expressive way tells you how much hes missed you and says how fabulous it is to see you and hugs you tight. The customary tickling and wrestling session ensues. I chase him around the living room making monster noises and he screams and giggles and runs off to hide in those ridiculously obvious hiding places that kids convince themselves adults cannot see.....We calm down and i ask how school is and the minimum of information is exchanged. I ask if hes been good and he nods. All is well, all is cool.
This exchange lasts for about 20 minutes at most. Then the parent steps in and takes him away, but this parent isnt my freind or his mother but something far more controlling over his actions. This parent is the giant 50" PLasma TV that sits filling the entire bay window of their house.
The TV is the dominant feature in the living room. Underneath the screen lies a Wii and a WDTV unit and a 500G hard-drive, a Sky+ box and dvd player.
Its all state of the art, its all black and minimal and i guess tasteful as Japanese technology can be. but its cold and unwelcoming and yet it holds my god-sons attention for hour upon hour. Cartoon networks and the miriad of films on the hard-drive to choose from. The TV is switched on at 6 AM and isnt turned off until everyone is asleep.
The boys (he has a 3 year old brother too), are mad on Starwars and LOtR. They have all the characters and they play for hours together, figurine in hand saving the world form Darth vader, Saruman and whatever else they decide is evil that day. But nothing and i mean NOTHING beats the TV. No matter how big the battle, no matter how engaging the wrestling or rough and tumble or colouring in, as soon as one of the theme tunes starts, everything stops and the TV takes over its guardianship.
On the saturday night im watching TV. Nothing special but im watching it. Its 6pm. We've taken the boys Ten-pin bowling for the first time and had a great time. PLayed a cool video game, eaten too many sweets from the sweet dispensers along the isles and then gone into Leamington Spa and turned the entire town into the Death Star and shot every passer by as either a spy, a member of the Empire or just cus we wanted to :P. Ive bought them a new whoopee cushion as the old one (that i bought also) is now ripped from over use :P. So back at the "ranch" im watching TV, drinking a cuppa and relaxing (kids are knackering). They boys have their bath and put on their jamas and re-appear, both tired but still excited.
Then the blood begins to boil and i can feel myself clenching my teeth and trying hard to hold back an objectional outburst to what ive just been asked to do....My Friend comes into the room and says "oh sorry Matt but your gonna have to turn that off now cus the boys will wanna watch a film or something else they will get bored and wont settle....you dont mind". I looked in disbelief for a moment, smiled and said "sure no worries". But i was seething with anger. I was filled with rage for two reasons. 1) because i was appauled at the fact these children couldnt be placated without the aid of this giant TV and 2). Im the adult in the house! I have priority as do their parents as to what goes and what doesnt!
When i was a child growing up the Tv was the domain of my father and my mother and the subsequent step fathers that ensued. The TV was not mine to control. it was a treat! It was something i was "allowed" to watch, not somethng i was "expected" to watch. Regardless of what medium it was the fact remained that i "did as i was told". There was no questioning it and it wasnt an option to question it either. Besides that if my parents had visitors i was taught that they were the guests and they had priority too.
There was nothing Dickensian or neglectful about this kind of mentality. It was about respect! I was told to make my own fun, and i would! Sure id grumble and moan but i knew that sooner or later i would find something to pass the hours. TV wasnt my surrogate parent. My parents parented me! they didnt plonk me infront of this giant passifier. They took time to play or gave me jobs to do or told me to write a story or whatever. Of course i was bored as a kid. I dont think a child in the history of the world was ever as bored as me, but i sure as hell didnt spend every waking moment hogging the TV. I remember crying as a kid when my Dads programs came on like world of Sport or some documentary and especially the news. But i learned to accept it.
Nowadays the News is switched over the instant Little johnny is bored. The moment the bottom lip quivers, the second the pencil drops to the floor and the patter of little feet approach. What happened to parenting? What happened to telling them they either like it or lump it?
What the hell happened to respect? ADULTS control and NOT the kids. Adults make the rules NOT the kids!
Im really quite angry about this. Obviously im not angry at the boys as they know no better, but im angry at my friends and im really dissapointed in them too. Dont get me wrong in thinking the TV is all they do because it isnt. They have their clubs and their dad takes them for a walk over the woods and around the castle every day (which is really lovely), but surely this isnt right? Surely its wrong to let the kids dictate whats on the Tv and what isnt? Surely its wrong to use the Tv as the fisrt line of action rather than the last resort? Is it me or is it just lazy parenting? Is it me or is this the wrong way to teach children the art of respecting their elders and knowing their place?
Am i out of tune with reality?
I have a feeling my friends arent the only ones who do this.
Am i the only one who is saddened by this and thinks its wrong?
My niece and nephew are 6 and 9 and they both have tv's in their room and the tv in the living room is their "domain". They fight over the control and hide it from each other so that one channel is on most of the time. Its a constant battle in their house. I've asked my sister why not just switch it off and she says "because its easier just to let them have it on". I also hate this mentality. Something is easier therefore the answer. The best things arent alwasy the easiest. My sister only has control of the tv on a saturday night and to be honest the kids watch the same stuff then anyway. like you said they have other hobbies, lots of them infact but the tv is always there and always on. my niece even watches tv in bed before sleeping and my sister sometimes finds her still watching it past 11pm.
I dont remember tv taking any major role in my life before the age of about 12. which is also the time i got fat (no coincidence). Me and the hubs both maintain we wont let our kids have a tv in their room until teenagers and the family tv will be for rainy days in and special occasions only. However as i dont have kids i shouldnt really comment as i might turn in to one of those parents too.
when I was little we didn't een have a TV lol. We got our first TV when I was 12 (and it was black/white :/ ) and didn't get our first computer until I was 15...
my half-brother on the other hand is 6 years younger than me, so to him the TV has been about from the age of 6. 10 years later and he has a TV in his room and more games consels then you can immagine... he has 2 PS2s for gods sake, why do you need 2?
He goes to school each day and when he gets in runs upstairs and locks hisself in his room for the rest of the night. He will not even eat dinner unless it's taken to him in his room... He'll be there fixed to the screen until 10 or 11 at night, then get up at 6 so he can fit in a few hours before school... and that is his life...
it seriouslly depresses me... whenever I visit I try to get him to do other things, but he gets actually violent over it...
I think what happens is parents see it as an easy way to keep children occupied while they get stuff like work done. But then as time goes on it gets more and more tempting just to appease the child with TV...
Me and my mum were just discussing this yesterday. When I was little I loved Button Moon and the Moomins and stuff but getting to watch them was a treat. After school we'd get to watch an hour of tv at my gran's then the rest of the night we'd do homework or play cos my parents watched their programs which never interested me. ON a saturday when I was home the tv would be off all day until 5pm and me and my mum would listen to music and play games.
Now i have baby cousins who get put infront of the tv and need certain programs to 'calm them down' i'm like NO. Some tv for a kid is fun and educational- but all the time and taking over their parents lives is wrong.
I think your friends (although i'm wary of criticising parents being that I dont have kids)- should instead sit them down with a story at night. I'd love to challenge folk to a tv free day- i just think its sad that my cousin will hardly speak but he's fine talking about Peppa Pig and the like!
Also just to add- I had a tv in my bedroom from when I was about 8- but I knew not to watch it at night or i'd get in trouble so it only really went on for a bit to play games at weekends. Mostly if i was up late i had snuck a book into bed!
This ranks right up there with a new commercial I just the other night..
Picture: smiling, average family...2.5 kids, etc.
In their lovely minivan (shudders..and i dont care what you call it..its a bloody minivan)
Anywayssss.. child gets bored, starts asking questions...
BUT, you no longer need to even talk to your child anymore....because of the ever-present the cell phone!!
Parents smile as they dial, hand the phone to said child...and there he listens, spellbound, to some disembodied voice telling him 'interesting facts and the answers to all his questions' !! *phew* I mean inbetween the tv/computer/video games/texting...well every parent would need a break!!!
Along those lines it baffles me that parents cannot parent anymore.
Why in the world do they need a TV in the minivan to take a ride to the store.
Children are not taught to be able to take a car ride without a TV.
Totally wrong in my opnion.
My kids never had and still don't have a TV in their rooms.
When everyone has a seperate TV, how can anyone be taught to comprimise, to be respectful of others, to not always get whatthey want when they want it.
Soooooorry, I shouldn't even get started on these things.
Ugh, it is very very sad, and you aren't alone in being angry. It's horrible.
I am 16 and I agree with this.
Even as a child of the 90s TV was a commodity that my mom restricted heavily. In the summer we were forced to go outside. Now I work at a boyscout camp in the summer. The kids can barely go a week with out TV/computer/cell phones. It is so so sad.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
When I was little we were allowed to watch tv before school but only after we had eaten breakfast and got ready for school, and then again after school but only if we had done everthing else that needed doing and as soon as 6pm came around it was adults time and we had to put up with it or find something else to do. In primary school we didn't even watch tv before school, it was an adults privalige.I didn't get a tv in my room until I was 13 and was living with my nan. I used to watch tv alot but books would always be the first form of entertainment for me, if I had a book to read tv would be ignored. Even now I can either take it or leave it, I'm much more interested in books or word puzzles or doing my models. If I have the tv on its usually as background noise not because I want to watch it.
God when I was 5 we had one TV in the house. It was a Sanyo wood-grain finish model with a dial to change channels and a push/pull switch to turn it on and off. The only other source of entertainment was the radio and vinyl record player. There was hell to pay if I ever touched that or the TV. Colour TV didn't come in here until the mid 70s but my family couldn't afford one til after I was born (I'm almost 28). We didn't even have a telephone until about '87.
Today the average 9yo has a plasma TV, cable, DVD player, iPod, mobile phone, computer and internet access etc. In the 80s we made our own fun; bike riding, playing outside, taking the dog for a walk, playing sports etc. Sunday afternoons were usually spent listening to the football on the radio. If I was really lucky we would go away for a weekend of camping and fishing. It's very sad to see such a dramatic change in only the space of twenty years or so.
Last edited by airwolf282 : 29-11-2009 at 08:55 AM.
"For those who fight for it, life has a flavour the sheltered never know"
-Pinned to a noticeboard at the US Command Post in Khe Sanh.
I was having a discussion with children I coach trampolining the other week and like you discovered they can't function without TV. They were horrified at the fact I don't have a TV at uni and therefore don't watch it all week, sometimes it's weeks at a time between me sitting down in front of a TV.
It saddens me, all these kids are bright but they could only talk about some rubbish on TV when I asked them what they'd done with their week. I just don't understand it, I've never had a TV in my bedroom, my parents generally rule the TV, it's GMTV in the mornings and if it's on at night it's a rarity. Although my sister who's 7 years younger than me has been known to try and dominate it and watch it without permission it's thought as a privilege. In fact it isnt unusual for her to have TV bans when she's misbehaved.
It worries me these kids are gonna lose the ability to communicate.
It is sad.
I was shocked the other day. I went around to my cousins to see her new baby (hes 8 weeks)
And there he is sat in his bouncy chair 10 inches from the tv watching cbeebies. She said it soothes him so she can do other things.
I was disgusted. A child that age dosnt take much to entertain them.
I grew up aloud to watch some tv when i came home from school, the usual fun programes that where on from lik 3:30 till 4:30. But after that the tv was controlled by the parentals. I did have a tv in my bedroom, but it wasnt used much. I was aloud mybe 20mins when I got into bed and then it was turned off. Where as my friend puts her little boy to bed with a film on every night and it stays on till he goes to sleep. and if hes not asleep by the end of it somethign else goes on, no matter what the time.
And the programmes are just rubbish now, they dont encourage imagination or creativity like they used to. Its stupid.
But then kids have declined in alot of areas.
I was always bought up to respect adults. That if one came into the room you moved and let them have the chair while you sat on the floor, yet none of hte kids i know do this at all now. Same with things like food. If there sia buffet I was always taught that the adults take first but now adays kids seem to jump in are take all the best stuff and pile there plates high not caring about anyone else.
Its really sad.
It does make me wonder what future generations are going to be like,
