First question: Depends on when you ask. Most of the time though, I don't think it's that bad. Obviously it's not an ideal coping method, but it works.
Second question: I'm not done with cutting and I'm not likely to stop completely anytime soon so I don't know if it will be worth it all in the end. I'm hoping it will be though, and I know I don't want to spend my entire life hiding fresh cuts.
In a word, yes. Cutting is bad, no matter how much you look after the cuts. Yes, it's bad. I accept that it's a coping method and that some people aren't ready to stop, but think for a moment. Is it really a good thing to do to go harming yourself? would you harm anyone else? Probably not. It's not good and it's not normal behaviour.
Sorry to be be so blunt, I wasn't intending to be. But yes, I believe that it is worth fighting the urges to quit, because in the end you'll be a stronger person. It's a coping method but it's not healthy.
Quite frankly, it's a pretty **** way of coping, anyway. It might work in the short term but it doesn't solve your problems, it gives you more, and it doesn't work forever.
And as for the 'as long as you don't cut too deep...', it doesn't really work like that. For most of us anyway, we end up feeling like we have to do more and more damage to ourselves to get the same feeling, and it gets to a point where you're not really in control anymore. Plus, you end up with scars which are not fun to live with; as much as we'd like to think they don't, they do affect how people see you, and how you feel about yourself.
I just, I don't understand why anyone would be happy to continue relying on SH as a way of coping when there are plenty of other healthy way to deal with your feelings that actually might help in the long run.
when we cut...we don't think much of it, we don't think much of our scars either...but to someone else who doesn't sh and especially to someone who cares, it's a big deal...
to me...it's weird to not see scars on someones arms...to someone else it's shocking to see scars on arms..
people who sh have esteem problems...we all do...we have low self esteem, which allows us to cut, some people cope better with their esteem better than others, there are obviously people out there who have low self esteem and don't sh but do other things. someone who has a healthy self esteem would cringe at the thought of cutting themselves and think "god that must hurt, how could they do that?"
i hope you see my point...it's funny how i can say this and not take it in myself...well i do...i dunno..lol
it is worth giving up when you're ready to...cos if you have kids, they will ask, you will always get reactions from people and i's just not healthy and won't help your esteem to keep doing it.
i certainly hope to give it up one day..
bad stuff happens - we cut - bad stuff is still there
also... in th majoority of people the cutting gets more and more intense in time, deeper or greater in quantity. it becomes more and more dangerous...
also... one of the dangers of SI tht is rarely noted is that it alterns our pain threesholds nd our reactions to pain... so we culd get into a random accident and the body does not react the way normal bodies do, so we are seen to be fine and then cllapse hours later from internal injuries that the body did not react to or show symptoms of.
SI works... it does. But there are better methods, methods that actually deal with the problems and methods that don't scar us or land us in hospital
As far as saying it's "bad", I don't necessarily like that word for it. I just have a problem with good/bad, right/wrong, as they pertain to a societal moral code that isn't always the best thing to go by. I'm just funny about that stuff. But anyway.
Obviously, cutting is detrimental to the body, but it is also detrimental to so many other aspects of life. We all know this. That being the case, I think that it's something that should be worked on throughout life. To just accept it, and give in to it is to say that you don't believe you'll ever be healthy and happy again. While it may seem that way now, you won't always have to rely on it. Seek help and eventually you will be ready to fight the urges. When that happens, so many things in life and about yourself will improve. Like others have said, cutting gets worse, you'll cut deeper, you'll use up space on your body, and you'll eventually feel negatively about what you've done to yourself because you'll have all this evidence. Think 10 years down the road...do you really want to be in the same place you are now?
So my answer...yes, it's worth fighting the urges when you're ready. Take steps to move toward initiating recovery, and let your mood guide you until you feel it's ok to move past cutting. You have to realize that it's not just the cutting, it's all this other stuff that originally drove you to cut in the first place, that's your biggest problem. When that stuff is changed, cutting will be unnecessary.
Sorry it was so long. I've thought about this a lot myself. :) Good luck, stay safe.
Just what am I supposed to say?
And tell you why I turned out this way?
Don't make me. Don't make me.
i think in the simple terms it is because honestly it issolate you, you fear telling friends, you hold back from relationships, you cant wear what you want or say go swimming (or if you do have to explain or you get stared at or feel uncomeftable).
Naturally a human instinct should be to prevent pain -self preservation & survival-, and as cutters/harmers somehow that is warped so we enjoy the adrenaline and high and even the pain, either to feel, purhaps as a relief for receiving a form of punnishment for feeling rubbish/inadequate or maybe to prove something to the harmers self,
Aside from scars it wont have the same inside physical harm as say being a smoker or taking lots of drugs or being an alcaholic, but emotionally and with the scars too, its jusr not very healthy, I think as a harmer we know that, because its why instinctivley we feel the need to hide it & keep it quite, think i know thats really why i hide it because if i'm being honest i know its not normal behaviour for dealing with everyday life.
It just takes someone who really cares to express how they feel about your SH to you.
My girlfriend helped me see SH in a completely different light - the light I think I needed to see it in, which I am glad about in a way, a strange way.
I mean, I still want to do it, I just know I can't, I know that I'll slip back into cutting 4-5 times a day...
Cutting is never as bad to the person who does it as to the outside world. The way my friends and family reacted when they found out about what I did, well it just wasn't good. I mean my teacher coped with it better. Sometimes they just think it is such a serious thing and it can actually cause you to get worse.
Depending on why you cut can make it 'bad'. I mean any cutting at all needs to be addressed and you need help for it. Cutting can be a silent scream for help, control, it can be a way of coping, a method of punishing yourself, adrenaline rush or simply survival. I don't really think that any of that isn't a serious problem and there are definitely reasons I haven't mentioned there.
For me, I am not ready to give up cutting yet but the looks I get and the constant worries and covering up of it, the unresounding secrecy is just unbearable sometimes. Sometimes we need something to show us where we can get to, that there is something better than cutting. That is not always what we want right now but it is believable. Cutting is not 'bad' to us because we are used to it and it is a 'friend' and something we grow to rely on. But isn't that bad in itself?
You have to also guard against infections and there is always that possibility you will cut too deep. So make sure you look after yourself and if possible, talk to someone to help you through this. I'm not really sure I have expressed myself all that well, my feelings are very mixed but I hope what I wrote is understandable.
And I agree with what everyone else said. The isolation is obviously a huge disadvantage.
yes.If you can ask that question it's ugly head hasn't turned your way...yet. It will ruin your life. You will start using more vicious ways to self harm. Things that you can't even imagine. But you love every minute of it. Its a you can waste years of your life trying to get that feeling you felt on your first cut.
I know recovered cocaine addicts that call it the worst and most addictive drug they ever tried.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
I don't think any of us can really answer that well. Most of us that are answering are self-harmers and this is part of who we are, part of our lives, so to us it's kind of normal.
It's worth it to quit to be healthier. It's like losing weight...it's like you may not want to because it's who you are, but you can feel better after you do. That's all I got at the moment.
Let's put a smile on that face
We are not alone
Find out when your cover's blown
There'll be somebody there to break your fall
We are not alone
'Cause when you cut down to the bone
We're really not so different after all
In my opinion.. no it's not that bad there are much worse addictions out there that people use to cope, if you're taking care of them and they're not too deep, I would say stuff like smoking and drinking is worse
Let the Force be with you
I'm not short, I'm space efficient
I'm not going to say any are worse than others as all are bad but with smoking and drinking, well you don't just drop dead while drinking a pint... if it does kill you it's over many years, and there are symptoms along the way, with SI people can (esometimes even with their first ever cut) go too deep and die... just like that... no build up, no symptoms, no realisation that maybe you're going too far, just done.
and smoking nor drinking alters the tollerance of pain on the body. SI does, it can cause delayed shock when accidents happen, it alters the brain, it does al sorts of stuff...
and even if none of them kill you... you can;t see the damage of smoking or drinking a its within, so you aren't forever reminded every time you look at yoursself of the damged that's been done...
I really want to say it's not that bad because I never thought mine was but now I look at the scars and they do look pretty bad even though none of the cuts were deep or got infected. I also know that, hypocritical as it might be, I feel sick when I think of friends I know have self-harmed cutting which makes me think it must be bad. The cuts themselves might not do a lot of damage to your body but they do a lot of damage to other parts of your life - relationships etc and sadly they can always get worse.
Worth it to quit? It depends on what you stand to gain or lose. For me I have no choice, I've been basically blackmailed into stopping by having my whole future and biggest dreams taken away unless I do. I guess it doesn't happen that literally to other people but I wouldn't recommend waiting to find out what might happen. If you think you're ready to quit on your own terms I think you should go for it!!! You might never find out what you saved yourself but it will almost certainly have been worth it.
I always think there are worse addictions, and worse things to do to help yourself. I guess what's led you to do it is the problem, but really- as long as you aren't putting yourself in danger I don't see a problem.
i'd only come here seeking peace i'd only come here seeking me it seems i came to leave
