mine are all internal too and i was told t hat this meant it wasn't psychosis. I describe them as having headphones in, so only i hear them and they can sometimes sounds like they're outside but like I have head phones so they're not 100% outside. Sometimes I get does outside but very rarely, so maybe we jut think that's a bad patch.
Rasgool: I reckon you might be on the spectrum like me, but not full blown DID. I agree with the others, the best person to give you an opinion is a doctor or psychologist.
I'm OK today. HAd a blip yesterday, and i feel like i'm gradually getting worse again and slipping, but I can only try to continue and see how I go, no?
Hello everyone. I've been considering posting here a lot but I feel a bit dumb. I just want to know if it's possible for me to experience dissociation without extra identities?
This is from other things I've posted in rants or said to my boyfriend:
I think I've been experiencing dissociation but I don't know? I just know sometimes I feel separated from myself and I can't think straight and when I talk/type I don't really know what I'm saying. I read it over and I'm amazed I've managed for form a coherent sentence because my head certainly doesn't feel that way. People will be talking to me and I forget what we're talking about. I'll say something and immediately forget what I've said and have to ask for clarification. I mess my sentences up and then realise my mistake 30 seconds later. It's getting more frequent and it's scaring me. I forget names of people that I know, I forget names of places and I forget names for physical things. Surely this isn't supposed to happen?
It just doesn't feel normal - to be in the middle of a conversation and forget most of it? It's hard to describe but i do feel sort of disconnected... it feels like there is my body and there is "me" and the two are kind of out of line, and my brain doesn't work and stuff.
In addition to this, I'll often say something I don't mean to, or be unnecessarily harsh and end up in an argument without meaning to.
I've been feeling like this for a long time and I was just wondering if this sounds similar to dissociation people here experience? It's very scary and surreal and difficult to describe and I feel quite alone with it and wanted to reach out to people who might understand.
Is it worth taking this to a doctor? I'm considering doing so regardless because I feel very low a lot too.
Life is about love, last minutes and lost evenings,
About fire in our bellies and furtive little feelings,
And the aching amplitudes that set our needles all a-flickering,
And help us with remembering that the only thing that's left to do is live.
It might be worth asking for a psych review, they might be able to point you in the right direction. I can relate to a lot of what you said, so maybe but I can't say for sure.
How is everyone doing? I'm struggling a tad, but I'm sure I'll make it to Friday for my review. xx
Saw a therapist on monday - I have (officially) atypical anorexia, C-PTSD and some kind of dissociative disorder.
Wendy: I'm not sure how I know they're internal, it's just as if I'm talking to myself and people are talking back from in my head. Can't really describe it properly.
DollyPOP: why you struggling Hun? PM me anytime if you wanna chat :) x
How's everyone doing?
Ask me mistakes I have made
Ask me whether what I have done is my life
Others have come, in their slow way -
And some have come to help, or to hurt -
Ask me what difference
Their strongest love or hate has made.
when they are external it sounds like someone is talking or shaouting from behind you ro accross the room, or whatever. When internal it's like your thoughts only not under your control, things you would never think or in a different voice to your own.
for me I know they're inside my head because it's audio, but it's like having headphones in, I know it coming from within rather than outside of my body.
mine are a mix. sometimes its clearly within my head, other times ive seen the particular person and can see them talking to me. yet ive been told its all internal and derives from the ptsd rather than psychosis. i dont really get the difference. i mean, when you can see the person and they are making you do stuff, to the point you believe them and do as they say, then have to be pinned down in a dark lane by your husband to stop you carrying out these persons demands and even when pinned down and police have been called you are shouting at your husband telling him this person is going to get him and is behind him. that is so not in my head!
Qualified Peer Support Worker (2017)
current mental health diagnoses: depression, PTSD, GAD, self harm, bpd
current meds (as at Feb 2017): , thyroxine, metformin, iron, b12, vit d, atenolol, Butec, Naproxen, Nefopam, Lanzoprazole, Bupropion, quetiapine (prn)
Oooo I get that too!!! I mainly get internal voices, but somethings there is a man who talks/yells/commands me, but I have been told though that because the man I see and hear is someone from my past it is trauma/dissociation related, if it was on the other hand someone I didn't know then it would be psychosis.
that's what the early intervention team told me a few months back anyway
yeh mine is a particular person from my past and thats what i was told. sometimes though, especially more recently it has been a voice that i cant put a face too, its so confusing
Qualified Peer Support Worker (2017)
current mental health diagnoses: depression, PTSD, GAD, self harm, bpd
current meds (as at Feb 2017): , thyroxine, metformin, iron, b12, vit d, atenolol, Butec, Naproxen, Nefopam, Lanzoprazole, Bupropion, quetiapine (prn)
I have DID but my alters dont post here because of the unfriendliness of some members about people who have DID ...my alters would like to post here but there afraid that they might be ridiculed for posting ...
Any one else feel the same ?
My alters ages are from 2 to 300 ( oldest is a dragon ) they each have there own needs ...my husband is very understanding about the alters and cares for them just as he cares for me .
At the moment we are struggling with our eating disorder , we are hardly eating at all ...we need help but because the body is over a set BMI we cant get the help we need so we have to just stick to what we are doing until our BMI gets to that magic number even though we would be worse off .
Any way hi to everyone here and i hope you are all ok
Last edited by _Faint_ : 24-08-2012 at 03:57 PM.
Stop Cruelty To All Beings Including Yourself
Omniniest -A Person Does Not Believe In Any Religion or Practice or Belief But Finds Truth In them All
ok please no one get offended by this but I have a question: I don't have full alters as it were, but I have something similar. And the way they've worked is it's like they are "frozen in time" at the age that the body was when they formed, as such they are all younger than the body. How does it work when an alter is older than the body? I may be being thick but the way it's been explained to me by psychs is similar to the way it works with me - i.e. all being younger than the body. So just wondering how it works when they are older?
Hey Hun, I have the same thing, kinda- the voices I hear are mostly younger than me. But I have one that expresses what I'm afraid my parents hear, and she's older than me. I can't explain, because I haven't been properly diagnosed with DID or anything, but I think adult alters or voices, for me at least, can be the voices of adults around you at the time of the abuse or whatever causes dissociative issues.
Anyone please correct me if I'm wrong.
I'm not having such a great time ATM, how's everyone else? Hazel, are you ok? X
Ask me mistakes I have made
Ask me whether what I have done is my life
Others have come, in their slow way -
And some have come to help, or to hurt -
Ask me what difference
Their strongest love or hate has made.
I'm just stressed, moving to a flat on Thursday and worried about it. Plus it's gonna be a good seven or eight months before I get therapy and I'm scared I'll lose it before then.
*hugs* hope you start feeling better, its always a pain when you feel crap and don't know why.
Ask me mistakes I have made
Ask me whether what I have done is my life
Others have come, in their slow way -
And some have come to help, or to hurt -
Ask me what difference
Their strongest love or hate has made.
Sapphire, good luck on the move. I hope your stress level improves when you get settled.
Shadow.light: from what I leanred, people with DID often have two kinds of alters, those that are stuck in trauma time and those that do daily life. Those that do daily lif emay well be older than the body. There are also alters that imitate the abuser and those may be the abuser's age. My alters are all younger than the body, but some were older than I was at the time when they were created.
I'm stressed. Therapy appt tomorrow and I'm feeling left out. My therapist knows very little about DID and talks about me (the host) taking control all the time, while what we strive for is cooperation. Besides, we've only been in therapy for DID for a year or so, so it's not like we can reach integration or anything close to it soon even if it was a goal for us. (Oh btw I'm sorry if I'm not allowed to say "we" in this forum, I know in some places DID people are supposed to keep their alters hidden and that would mean no "we" statements.) Also I feel unsupported by my therapist because I want support ine stablishing cooperation, but she say stuff like "You do so well, you let the alters out only when you're alone." Yes I do try to present as the host whenever I'm with people, but this causes a lot of distress, and I still switch when with my husband or with certain staff.
"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller
I know I haven't been on here in the last 6 or 7 weeks. I was ip and didn't have access to le internet.
Anyway... I'm back outside now! Yaay!
How are you all??
Laura
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Elfgirl: Hey. Sorry you're so stressed at the moment. 'we' is allowed here, don't worry. Maybe you need to speak to your therapist and explain that you want to work towards cooperation, rather than forcing your alters down around others?
Laura: hey, glad you're out, how'd it go?
It's going to be months before I even get to talk to anyone. Feeling so bereft, tbh. I've been zoning out all the time. Moving out has been great, but somehow I want to cut, even when I'm feeling ok. I keep getting weird fragments of emotions I don't feel. It's kinda scary.
Ask me mistakes I have made
Ask me whether what I have done is my life
Others have come, in their slow way -
And some have come to help, or to hurt -
Ask me what difference
Their strongest love or hate has made.
I've been zoning out all the time. Moving out has been great, but somehow I want to cut, even when I'm feeling ok.
This is me right now. I even did it in my dream, I'm dreaming about dissociating :(
Mute.Scream: I hope you're OK now you're out of the hospital? DId it help you much?
ElfGirl: is there any way of talking about this lack of cooperation and understanding you feel with your therapist? Or another member of staff and ask to change maybe?
For all you know, some constructive criticism might help.
