Thank you guys so much. I'm feeling a little calmer now. I've been sectioned and will be assessed tomorrow to find out if I can have it lifted and go home. I m aware that the fact I 100% will go home and continue following the rules is indicative that they may not just let me walk out though. But hopefully there will be a middle ground.
I spoke to my family and after some shouting a d tears they concluded I was mad and needed to stay put.
Jenna, you have been truly amazing to me. I don't deserve you. Honestly, all this shit when you have exams and your own life stress. I'm just so sorry to have 'chosen' now to have a breakdown lol.
But yes. I spoke to the nurse which was hard but she's lovely and said any time I feel overwhelmed by the thoughts he shares with me i am t tel them so we can talk through it.
It will be hard because Rule number 1 is that I am categorically not supposed to talk aboutthe bad things. And I have spent so many years now not talking about it, suddenly having to do so is scary. It's taken me this long to be ale to tell trusted friends, never mind actual members of staff.
Thank you for your on going love and support. hopefully I won't be in here long, and hopefully this less depressed mood will last. Right now I'm feeling more glad that I was made t stay on the drip so I didn't die. More so than I was anyway.
They are doing a lot of making me eat which is scaring me, but I am a lot more unweight than I thought i was so I'm trying to reconcile myself with that.
Thank you Jenna for topping up my iPad so I'm not bored. Though this hosp is significantly more pretty than the Maudsley.
I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I have to get out of here. They are not listening. I have to do things to stop the man and they stop me and he's getting madder and madder and I don't understand how the discharge forms work so I don't know how to get out and I'm scarred and guilty and selfish for being here when he is making people hurt. I need to just deal with it better even when its hard I undersatdnd that now and I'm so so sorry if he hurts anyone or makes you hurt. I need to leave I need to leave. I feel so guilty and selfish and I'm sorry because you have all hbeen so lovely and I'm not greatful enough. I didn't mean to die when I took the pills I judt had to make things stop but now I wish I had.
Jodie, if you do not understand the forms and they are not willing to help you understand them then perhaps you or Jenna could look at getting an advocate involved. I am going to look online for a service in your area. I am so so so so so (I think you get the idea) glad that you didn't die and I am coming to give you ALL the hugs!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Narcissa
We're all going to be just fine, and if we're not, it's because we're a bunch of crazy people who do crazy shit, not because of anything you have or haven't done.
Sorry this made me lol a bit, but Jenna had a lot of wise....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bellatrix
Thank you guys so much. I'm feeling a little calmer now. I've been sectioned and will be assessed tomorrow to find out if I can have it lifted and go home. I m aware that the fact I 100% will go home and continue following the rules is indicative that they may not just let me walk out though. But hopefully there will be a middle ground.
I spoke to my family and after some shouting a d tears they concluded I was mad and needed to stay put.
Jenna, you have been truly amazing to me. I don't deserve you. Honestly, all this shit when you have exams and your own life stress. I'm just so sorry to have 'chosen' now to have a breakdown lol.
But yes. I spoke to the nurse which was hard but she's lovely and said any time I feel overwhelmed by the thoughts he shares with me i am t tel them so we can talk through it.
It will be hard because Rule number 1 is that I am categorically not supposed to talk aboutthe bad things. And I have spent so many years now not talking about it, suddenly having to do so is scary. It's taken me this long to be ale to tell trusted friends, never mind actual members of staff.
Thank you for your on going love and support. hopefully I won't be in here long, and hopefully this less depressed mood will last. Right now I'm feeling more glad that I was made t stay on the drip so I didn't die. More so than I was anyway.
They are doing a lot of making me eat which is scaring me, but I am a lot more unweight than I thought i was so I'm trying to reconcile myself with that.
Thank you Jenna for topping up my iPad so I'm not bored. Though this hosp is significantly more pretty than the Maudsley.
I am glad you spoke to your family despite the shouting and tears, however you are not mad, you have MH problems, there is a difference!
I hope that you are able to find some middle ground with the people doing the assessment so that a solution is reached which is acceptable for you but also keeps you safe.
The nurse sounds lovely and I hope you can try and talk to them when things feel overwhelming. The man is your mind being a troll lovely, nothing bad will happen because of you talking about things. I know this cos I am a genius!
Love you so much for ALL the days and nights and inbetweens :p
I hope you co-operate with the staff and let them help you. I will try and come back tomorrow to add more helpful words when I've had a little more sleep :P
Take care of yourself love, you deserve to be happy x
I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.
Right now I'm feeling more glad that I was made t stay on the drip so I didn't die.
*likes this sentence*
Sorry for not having replied before now, been reading, just been too wrapped up in my own stuff to really know what to say. But I am thinking of you and I really hope that things will improve and that this time in hospital helps you
I am glad that you are feeling a bit more positive and that you have a nurse on your side as it were. I'm sure that will help a lot
Hey my gorgeous right hand lady. I really hope you can work with them and come out feeling better. Just sending you love and muggles to torture. *Hugs* If I can do anything, let me know. <3
Jodie, sorry to hear you needed hospital but i hope you can try to trust the staff to look after you and help you feel better. i know it can be really scarey but they are there to help. sending love.
I can try to come and see you but it doesn't appear to be very feasible at the moment apart from this Tuesday coming. I shall liase with Jenna.
Love 'n stuff.
xXxXx
The world is just illusion always trying to change me.
You will find wonder wherever you can, and spread joy whenever you are able.
I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, divide within me. - Frankenstein.
My wonderful amazing strong Mum, your last post makes me so so happy and relieved, not the fact you've been sectioned but the fact you are trying so very hard.
I'm really sorry you have been sectioned though... but it's all in your best interests.
Maybe a little time in hospital will be of use? Help you get to a much better place? More stable and happier and more self aware? Think about it, maybe?
Or, discuss the pros and cons of staying in hospital and going home?
Try to think logically about this, hospital isn't there to hurt you or make you feel worse, its there to help you.
They are all there to help you.
As are we.
I'm glad you spoke to your family, I'm sure they don't think you're "mad", more ill... and yes, you do need to stay put, just for a while, so they can help you more and have your treatment be more intensive and one to one and such.
You haven't "chosen" to be like this JodMum, and I'm sure Jenna is very aware of this, we all are, Jenna and all of us just want you to get help and to feel better and to get better, we all just care about you sweetie.
I'm so so glad you're speaking to the staff there, and I'm glad you've got kind of a "deal" where you speak to them especially if you get overwhelming thoughts/the man talks to you and you get distressed, or anything like that.
They are there to help you, they just want to help you feel better, try to trust in that.
I know it's hard to trust people, but try, or try to try? :)
Rule number 1 is not right. It's not a good rule at all. I think you should break this rule. I think you should make rule number 1 to try and open up to people about bad things[anything actually, anything and everything], because then you can work through it and find ways to cope better you know?
Besides, being a rebel and breaking sucky rules is awesome :)
[I kid, I kid, I'm sucky myself at jokes lol]
But yes, I do think you should go against this rule you have, and try to trust and open up more to people around you and the staff there and the professionals.
All they want to do is help, love.
Try to remember this.
I really really hope you aren't there long, but if you are, that's okay too.
Sometimes we need to be in a safe place to help us feel/get better than if we were not in that safe place.
I'm actually so so proud of you for saying this;
"Right now I'm feeling more glad that I was made t stay on the drip so I didn't die. More so than I was anyway. "
You've no idea how glad and happy I am that you've said this, that you feel glad that you didn't die, that means a little part of you, no matter how small, really does wants to live, and you need to keep clinging to that side of you so tightly and to use that as your strength to keep on fighting, to keep going, you can do this, you can get through this.
Believe in that.
Believe in yourself.
We do.
I'm so so proud and glad you've also recognized you are actually very ill, and are underweight, and need to eat more and to get help with your ED side of things, and that it is quite serious, you are pretty unwell with your ED, let alone everything else going on!
A little help could go a long way with everything you're suffering with right now, you know?
But you've got to open yourself up to their help, and to cooperate as much as you possibly can, we know you can do this, you truly can.
Try to reassure yourself and logic with yourself that you ARE ill, you DO need help, and that it's OKAY to need help, ED wise - you ARE very thin, you DO need food, you ARE allowed food, and it's OKAY.
*gives permission to eat and to seek help for your ED/mindset*
*loves lots*
[Sometimes, hearing someone say you have permission to do something could help... sorry if not, *rubs it out if not*!]
If you send me the address, I could write to you if you want, or I could call you there/on your phone? Either way, I'm always a message/BBM/text/call away my wonderful JodMum.
You are simply amazing...
Keep fighting, keep going, you are so so strong, I'm so proud of you!
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