I also don't like being diagnosed... really, anyway. It's nice getting a label to fit the problem but when ALL people see are the diagnoses, well, it gets old. Fast.
:)
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
I'm very anti diagnosis but I think they can help people give themselves credit for what they are going through as a lot of people tend to belittle their problems.I think I used it to define my pain before I could admit it was because of things that had happened. Also if other people have been diagnosed the same it means you know you're not alone and can share advice/coping mechanisms/hope for recovery which is perhaps harder when you speak in terms of personal struggle.
It seems often the reason people tern to other ways of dealing with emotions whether that be behavioural (ie cutting, eating disorders) or psychological (eg personaility disorders, anxiety) is because they haven't understood their feelings as important when they first felt them so anything that 'presents the hurt' clearly is a good thing.
When I was depressed the only reason I refused to admit it was cos I couldn't admit I'd been hurt.
Personally I don't see myself in terms of diagnosis anymore but I use it as a guidline in the back of my mind but mainly its been depression and trauma related stuff; ptsd, anxiety, dissociation, insomnia, depression, ednos etc.
^^ Welcome to the thread, and I think you're definitely right when it comes to expressing feelings/pain in terms of behaviors or psychological problems. I learned something about that in uni but I forget... heh. Brain's not what it used to be. >_<
*hugs*
How is everyone doing today?
I'm up super early, it's just past 4am and I got up around 3:30am. Grrrr. Hubby took the day off work so he could go to my nutritionist appt with me then fill out some forms at the courthouse - then he has tomorrow and Christmas off too of course - so really only a 2-day work week!! That's so nice... I do so much better when he's around because he makes me eat. Hehe. :)
I'm worried about this N appt but I posted about that in the ED forum and also the Veteran's Support forum... so you can check that out there if you want to support/give advice/see what's up.
*hugs everyone*
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
My nutritionist appt went... okay. He wants to see me every week for awhile... but I don't want to. I don't think it's that serious... and I don't want to shell out the money, either. *cries*
I'm at my parents' house now and it feels like no one takes my ED seriously. Posted more about this in the ED forum if you could take a look at it... if you want. Don't want to force you all or anything...
:(
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
I like the idea of this thread. *Hugs April*
I haven't actually been diagnosed with anything, I am too damn scared to admit there's anything wrong to anyone professional I guess. I struggle with lots of things though; I tend to get depressed, I can get very anxious especially on public transport/on my own/in public and I'm pretty sure I've dissociated several times.
*Sigh* I just guess I fit in here, not knowing much about myself.
You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"
*hugs Lanny* I'm glad you joined us here. Why do you think you've been too scared to get professional help? It can be scary, granted, but sometimes getting those opinions really does help.
Sorry, am not good company tonight as am struggling a LOT. Can't talk about it to anyone IRL either as my parents are in denial... or something. Dunno. It's frustrating!! Thankfully we will only be here (we = husband and me) until tomorrow morning/afternoon. GRRRRR.
I feel so fat!!!
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
Am sorry I'm not much help now, but parents can suck. Heh. Mine don't all the time but we've had our issues in the past (and now present).
I hope that tomorrow isn't too awful for you... *hugs*
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
Pup, it's fine with me if you post here, and I'm sure that no one else minds. *gentle hugs, hoping you don't mind* Don't worry about feeling like you're making the mood of the thread go down at all when you post either, as I think I'm pretty good at that too... lol.
Anyway... what's up? I understand all of those feelings... they "come with the territory" I guess you could say... at times anyway. Coping... well, read, or listen to music, or take a bubble bath/hot shower, use aromatherapy... there are so many things that you can do to take "me-time" - which is very important for health.
Sorry I'm not much help. Still not in a very good place this morning. :-/
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
*Squishes April*
Part of me thinks I can't get help because there's nothing wrong and I should just snap out of it, whilst the other part of me is just too scared in case they're horrible to me. It's a no-win/no-win situation.
Wanna talk about what's bothering you? You're being lots of help to me xxx
You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"
Aw thanks for the compliment, Lanny. *squishes back*
Yesterday I was really struggling with my parents. They are too scared to be a real part of my support network and I've really just got to remember that they're not capable of handling my problems... which is so stupid, as they should be strong enough. It's pathetic that I, who am less than half the age of my parents, should be stronger mentally/emotionally than they are. Their marriage isn't as good as I thought it was either. My dad ignores my mum's eating habits, doesn't even try to confront her to make her eat more/eat more healthily. It's so frustrating!! and I never realized that until just now, as a woman who's been married for nearly a year and a half.
Gahh. And then my ED has come back, front and center, and I've been trying to figure out why. :( It really sucks... but I am working on it. It used to be more like AN but now is DEFINITELY more like BN... urges to b/p... which really suck as I don't know how strong I can be. I can't put off these urges indefinitely - or can I? :(
So that's what's been going on with me. Christmas was rough. I'm just thankful that I have my husband and that he is as strong as he is. :)
Last edited by Scarletdreamer : 26-12-2009 at 10:32 AM.
Reason: adding stuff :)
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
I'm really sorry to hear all of that April *big cuddles* I'm glad you've got your husband to rely on.
Is there somebody you can go see to talk about your ED? It sounds like you really need some help, and now before things get too bad. I really hope you can find out why it's come back and get some help.
Sorry, I think that's all the advice I can manage. Take care sweetheart xxx
You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"
Thanks, Lanny, for taking the time to post. *cuddles* I see a nutritionist and he's worried but I think I am going to "terminate" care with him as I am not doing what he wants me to do. I just can't. I'm not ready. I can't keep a ****ing food journal, because I don't want him to know what I eat or have to admit that I don't know how many calories were in whatever I just ate. :( Friends - including my husband - have noted that there doesn't seem to be a difference between when I see my N and when I don't... so... :-/ That's no good.
I do have a therapist and a NP that I see... therapist weekly, NP monthly, although I won't see them again til mid-January. >_< Am worried about how I am going to hold on until then... I'm so scared that I'm going to give in and purge... or binge... or both. I don't WANT to be a bulimic. *cries*
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
Sorry April, I never got back to, I was a little drunk last night. *Hugs*
I guess that you should terminate care with your Nutritionist if he's not doing you any good right now. Maybe you could go back to him when you're a little stronger?
It's not too long til mid-January, I'm sure you could hold in there but do you have a crisis time or somebody you could call if it was an emergency?
xxxx
You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"
*hugs* EDs do suck don't they? I'm having a bit of a relapse period too it seriousy is ****
food diaries are *** too. Any idea why the nutritionistisn't helping? maybe they could try a diffeerent approch if you tell them that the current one is not helping
Lanny, it's okay that you never got back to me. Hazel, I think that my N isn't helping because I'm just not strong enough to follow his orders. And yeh, I can call my therapist and/or NP anytime I need to.
I started doing the food journal after Christmas as I didn't want to admit how much I ate. It's bs trying to keep track of how much protein I've gotten. I hate it!! :( I just ate lunch and now I'm going to have to calculate how much protein was in the chef salad (make-it-yourself, so at least I have some idea of how much I put in it). Ugh.
And of course I want to purge.
But Lanny and Hazel, how are you? and everyone else? Ennui?
*hugs all*
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
erm, I'm in a similar place to you with the whole ED thing... though as I'm apparently "recovered" trying to ignore the signs
other than that, been very "switchy" for the last few days, and right now my hearing is a bit odd... everything sounds far away and as if it's behind a wall or something
but meh, hopefully it shall pass
*Squishes Hazel*
Meh. I'm struggling. Things are really bad between me and my boyfriend and I've just felt so low for days now. I'm just really sick of things.
You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"
*cuddles Hazel & Lanny* Hazel, sorry to hear that things are rough for you... if you're in "recovery" - well, it seems to me that you should pay attention to signs of relapse? so you could prevent them if they should come - and it sounds like they have. So please, sweetie, take care of yourself and ask for help if you need it... at least try.
Lanny, what's up between you and your boyfriend? (if you care to talk about it, as talking can be cathartic) My husband and I have had our share of arguments (big and little, over important things and over nothing), so maybe I can help? I don't consider myself an expert on relationships, but maybe I could help, dunno. *hugs* I understand the being sick of things... me too. I'm sick of life... sick of being an epic failure... sick of being sick... the list goes on. :-\
Just got back from target shooting and then a walk with my aunt (who's visiting for a few days) and my mum. Target shooting was good, although in 14 shots I only hit the target 5 times. But that's okay for a new pistol, and also okay for someone who's not too used to handguns (MOI!!! hah). The walk was nice although my pants (guys' jeans) got wet. Meh.
Gonna work on my "bipolar workbook" a bit. Looked at all of the criteria of (hypo)mania and out of 8 I fit 5 (which is the necessary number). Out of the 8 in depression, I fit ALL OF THEM. That was rather depressing... heh. Ironic, yes?
:-/
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
, not too much use tonight)
