struggling alot today with confusion and anxiety mostly. dont know where the others are. theyre gone or quiet or something and ive had bad anxiety all day and worrying alot about different things and confused and lost and over analyzing myself..
i dont like being out alone with the others gone or quiet or far away for hrs or all day long.. it makes me honestly worry that im lying or faking and made them all up.. but how could i not know if i did or didnt do that?
im so very lost and confused and with high anxiety.. it scares me..
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Stellata - In response to your question, yes. Outwardly I never show any signs of being stressed, so really I never actually truly know when I am stressed. But I find my memory goes out the window and I often lose time - I won't remember doing a piece of work or handing it in but it's saved on my USB and then my teacher hands it back to me and I'm like O.o
Sorry to hear you're struggling Hiding, maybe they're taking a back seat today to try and teach you about how to cope with things? So that maybe if, one day, they can't come out then you know how to deal with the situation? Sorry if that doesn't make much sense.
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Time this morning is going by reeaaaally slowly.
Had a really weird dream last night, can't remember it all but I know it involved a lot of panic and lava. Just googled what lava signifies in a dream and apparently it's violent anger that I have kept inside for a long time. That sounds a lot like me; I remember when I was talking to my friends mum who's a psychotherapist and she told me that depression was anger turned inwards. Guess I just didn't think that it would still be bothering me now...
we are back or some of us. so she is not so freaked out now lol
it is weird when that happens its like something or someone puts us all in deep sleep inside.. and its hard to wake up from and we actually have a tough time getting out again. none of us understand it. it doesnt happen very often tho which i guess is good.
idk.
hmm strange about what your dream meant. interesting but strange. weve started having strange vivid dreems again.. usually happens when we are off meds.. which we are =/
take care hon
Hey guys, hope you're all well. Sorry we're not reading back & replying, it's really hard to concentrate at the mo. Thinking of you all x
Previously unicorn-tears
In a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of tempered grace,
falling into empty space
With no-one there to catch you in their arms
Kahlia1981 & silentgirl are my RYL sisters Plumeria Sister
hard time lately.. anxiety sky high..
joplin breaks my heart even tho im not in that state.. and one of us cant stop reading or watching things on it.
mom met with her onocologist today dont know much cause she needs more tests but he said that most likely she will need a double masectomy.
(the part with mom hasnt sunk in yet for me)
umm.. daughters so called friends at school upset and disappoint us LOTS..
been up today since 4am cause some of out little ones got triggered last night when the woke up..
went to chiropractor today and he freaking hurt our back.. right where the slipped disc is..=/
needless to say.. may called into work tomorrow and stay home to recover from everything but we will see how we feel in the morning.
the last 24 hours has been a bit weird... they keep switching over, trying to take over but are arguing with eachother. i'm completely confused at what's going on.. rachel one minute and dannie the next... they are competing at who's in charge then complete emptiness and emotionless... i'm not sure at what to do
sorry for not being about recently... sort of went into full denial about everything, which caused totally internal chaos... and on top of that got a lot of rubbish going on which seems to be making even more chaos
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
no worries. we havent been posting much here either, but someone checks it everyday.
we've had alot going on for us inside lately. its been hard and not gonna get easier anytime soon.=/
Know what you mean, I'm totally cut off from my alters, I haven't got a clue what's going on...
I hate when that happens, it makes me so scared. Hope you're ok & things work out for you soon.
Hiding, Sadie & co, hope things settle for you guys soon too.
Thinking of you all. We're having a rough time too - must be something in the air!
Thinking of you guys x
Previously unicorn-tears
In a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of tempered grace,
falling into empty space
With no-one there to catch you in their arms
Kahlia1981 & silentgirl are my RYL sisters Plumeria Sister
It has been recently brought to my attention that I might be dissociative..
I guess for years people have been catching me having a full on conversation with myself,but I don't ever remember it??:/
And people have noticed me saying things I wouldn't normally say..?
