it is waay to cold for where we live we arent used to this type of weahter here.. gonna be in 30s all day again today and suppossed to get sleet/snao starting at noon and all day tomorrow i think. that ank god we had decided even before we knew this weather was coming that we wanted tomorrow and weekend off work.
tooo ****ing cold.. yes im whinig about ir but we cant stand this uggh.. stay safe and warm everybody
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Hazel - sorry to hear about your kidneys ):
Disappear - I usually manage to control myself, though I have a tendency to wander a bit, which can be dangerous as I'm usually on public transport or near main roads. Its cos I usually feel really light-headed and dizzy.
Sadie - We know how you feel, in recent months our body has become way more sensitive to temperature and I don't know why :/ if it's a little cold I'm absolutely freezing and if it's mild I'm really hot.
went for a walk last night and ran into stalker guy... he's been harassing me for months, he was a friend of one of my abusers. But last night he grabed and hit me... Jack ended up coming round at 2am after I rung him in tears...
Now jack has had to leave, so all alone...
But it was my own stupiid fault... I knew that he might have been about but still weent out. think that on some level I wanted to run into him and be hurt as punishment
Find that this is the worst time of the year, everything is so foggy and disjointed. Not remembering work. Not really remembering home. Not remembering T, although I know I go to sessions - I just can't really grasp any concrete memory of what was discussed. This time is always bad, I don't know why. Well I think bad stuff happened around this time most often. I think. I don't know. My memories are not my memories and are patchy, foggy and make no sense. I don't know, I don't know. I wish things made sense in my head. I wish my T would discuss dissociation and things that go on in my life. I wish I could bring up the nightmares and the flashbacks and the body memories and the lost time. I don't know where this post is going. I don't even know if I'll remember it later. I'm sorry I've not been around.
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Don't worry for not being around Ghosts, focus on yourself first (: I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, we hate this time of year too. I find this is when I lose the most time too.
hey sorry things are bad.. =/ take it one day at a time yall.. go out and blowing out excess tax refund on stuff we've needed/wanted helped us feel lots better =) and luckily..Richard hasnt been bothering us too much this weekend.. hope it stays that way..
ok so like im always in a shitty mood when i come home from work cuz it never looks like mike cleans house much.. what else is new?
anyhow so like not in best mood when i walk in the door then i was hoping mike could throw some fix a flat in his 2 flat tires and we could run it to get new ones.. well he tried it and front tire wouldnt hold so he gets all pissed and i try to think out options but obvisiously he was too pissed for it cuz he just says "ive already thought of that" even before i finish my thought.. so i had to go get another can of fix of flat which now i have no cash left at all in our wallet.. he tried to apologize but ya know what.. i dont wanna ****in hear it right now.. hiding sat in room and cried a bit and Richard is laughing his ass off saying "see? i told yall women are weak and it dont matter what yall ****in think" and i seriously thought of getting in the car and going to my parents.. but truth is mike and us dont fight much.. Richard just makes all matters worse but the asswipe likes that..
we are starting to think there is a side of all men that is ****ed up attitude wise just like nathan and well that hurts hiding alot and she just wants to crawl in a hole and disappear from the world and everyone.. ****ing Richard wont shut the **** up.. anyhow guess that is all for now for this rant of mine.. it doesnt ****in matter...nothing we think do or say matters it makes me wanna ****in cut but doubt i will. ****in life just sucks ass.. mike is outside now ****in with the tire and van and shitty ass jacks ..sure hell bitch all ****in night..joy.. anyhow sorry for bitching im gonna stfu now..
Ha Kathryn I think you misunderstood. Richard is one of.."us" inside with us. He recently made himself known a few weeks ago. so umm there is no way to see or hear him any less unfortunately. I guess at least he doesnt seem to bother us a whole lot.. I mean it could be worse I guess with him but .. well of course he lways decides to laugh at us or be most active with his E/A **** inside when we are fairly quite upset anyhow.
anyhow sorry about my rant.. guess I shoulda kept quiet about it.. it really wasnt a big deal..just one of those things that get us all sorta upset/pissed off/upset, but things are ok now.
Just sucks that Richard has to be more active talking to us inside when we are already upset ya know.. it just makes it worse but well he is smirking over me talking abouthim and the situation right now and saying" that is the point.. to make the chaos (nomtter how small or short lived) worse because we need to learn to behave as women should" *rolls eyes* anyhow sorry i went off on such a rant about it all. SADIE
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Ahhhh I seeeeeeee, then it was him who posted here a couple of times. Blonde moment, sorry. Don't worry about ranting, we all need to vent our feelings (:
Do you know where he got his views from about women? Luckily for us Reizo's calm (even if he was angry he'd have Ayka and Onyx to contend with who have quite feministic views).
yeah that was him. he is basically a combination of the ex hubby (nathan) who was emotionally and sexually abusive *he was/is very narcissistic* and combined all our other brief negative relationships and warped it all into what he believes ..or something like that.
he always seems to be most active when we are already upset/pissed off or riled up over something so it makes it worse// but he is still new to us.. not like new as in never been there before.. but new as in now we know for a fact he is there..if that makes sense. so we are still figuring him out.. since we kinda have to i guess. we apologize if he is ever rude to anyone here,, but usually it is mainly aimed towards us like he did on another forum we post in. but occasionally he voices his opinions and rudeness to outsiders online (like he did with you before) Luckily, so far at lest, he doesnt seem to come out other that online cuz he doesn't wanna deal with being ragged on for living in this body i guess.. idk just a guess. guess we should go ahead and add the others to our signature here.. just in case they post occasionally..
Hey everyone, it's Jen. I haven't posted in awhile, so it's okay if some of you don't know/remember me (but I remember you guys! Hello Hiding and Kat!)
Our system as a whole has been doing really well the last few months, however, for some rather complicated reasons, the Others have decided to back off and we aren't so closely connected anymore. We are still co-conscious, but everyone simply has more room to breathe. We're going to stick around here at RYL because it helped us so much and we'd like to lend support where we can, especially on this thread.
On a lighter note, I (Jen) adopted a kitty today! :D She's a 1-year-old American Shorthair, a total sweetie, and her name's Mollie. She's right next to me at the moment, bumping her head against my laptop and mewing at me :D.
My name is Matt, and I am a boy. Feel free to PM me :)
I have learned that the world is not a safe place. Not at all. But there are so many people who love me and want to keep me safe. And that is enough.
