going back on meds after being off them is always a bit of a difficult/odd time. Whenever I've been off them and then go back on I always totally forget to take them half the time lol
I am seriously struggling to get a doctors appointment :/ I went to the GPs at 8.30 time morning but they didn't have any appointments so have to go back again on monday to try again
Megan - I hope being back on the meds goes well for you, especially with a new semester starting up so soon. And I hope you are finally not ill!
Hazel - hopefully you'll get the appointment on monday. Is it possible to just take the first available one while you're there but still keep trying each day in the hope of getting something sooner?
Things are a bit hazy and disconnected for me. Was told by the third or fourth nurse who's redressed my arm that I really should be referred to a specialist for further consultation. Which I had been, but I was at my parents for christmas, so by the time I could pick up post at my usual place the appointment had been and gone and I was discharged from the hospital. So I'm gonna be re-referred on monday. I guess the problem is I can't really deal with attention being focused on me, especially medical people because I can't deflect the focus onto someone else as it's me being treating. And I can feel 'rumblings' of a sort inside, like deep within a machine something's happening / going wrong and everything going to explode in a minute. If that makes sense at all.
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
It makes sense, and I really hope you get to see a specialist so they can help you with all this. I can relate to the feeling of having too much attention on you, but try to remember that it's attention because they are trying to get you the best possible help and treatment.
I may have already asked this, but do you and your alters keep a journal?
Maybe that could help with the rumblings. Or letting the others paint or draw out their feelings? Sorry if you already do that or if they are useless suggetions. Thinking of you.
I tell myself that if I don't go to appointments then this will take longer to heal and may need even more medical treatment in the end. Trying to terrify myself into attending on the basis that this is preferable to longer treatment, but it just sucks that this is the 9th week since someone burned my arm and I'm still needing it to be treated.
Oh, journals... I have several; offline journals, private online journals, forum journals, all for anybody who want to use them. I can't write for **** though, and no one else seems inclined to try it very often. And I have extensive amounts of art books and art supplies. A couple of drawings have survived, but I don't understand them, and they're not recent either. And even if something does get written or drawn, it usually ends up being destroyed or deleted. I feel quite hopeless about it =(
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
well my lease runs out in like 15 days, so I'm on atime limit to get an appointment as after that I won't have this GP (then again I have no idea where I be going after the lease runs out so not sure I will have GP at all)
Ghosts - That's really tough. I'm sorry none of the creative stuff is working out. Nothing useful to say, really, other than feel free to pm me if you want, and that I'm really hoping for the best for you.
Hazel - That's a sticky situation to be in. Thinking of you as well.
On a side note, I've been feeling pretty positive these past few days (still think it's too early to tell if it's the meds or not because it hasn't even been a full week) and I thought feeling happy was a good thing, but I heard my dad comment to mom about how I am in a good mood and mom said "she is! I don't know who she is anymore! I want my old Megan back!" Now I'm confused. But I think this is because I'm slightly manic, not solely the meds.
That is crap, I'm so sorry you're in this situation again Hazel.
Thanks for the offer Megan =) I hope things stay positive for you. Maybe you're mum was joking? I've heard my mum say the same thing, literally word-for-word, when someone pointed out a positive change in me before (I think I'd started talking to people again?).
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
I'm ok-ish. Just pissed off with myself/people in my head for hurting the body. How are you doing?
As a sudden thought - is it weird that I tend to think in first person plural, and that my default response to some questions is "we"? There's times where I say something specific, and I use first person singular, but the rest of the time, especially when thinking, I revert to using the first person plural. Occasionally I have to catch myself before I say "we" out loud, or then deal with the funny looks I get afterwards when I fail to think.
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Yeah that's understandable. I'm good thanks, I'm trying to avoid using the words "okay" and "alright" when asking how others are because it's not exactly the best term to use when asking someone's wellbeing (:
most of my thinking is in pluralness, in fact half the time on here I go through posts after writting them an turn all the "we"s to "I"s, also have to focus before speaking to makesure that I and not WE comes out of my mouth... when I talk/type about parts of the body I have to kind of edit myself too, as my first reaction is to refer to things as "the" and not "my" (i.e. the head not my head)
I forget to edit my posts, so half the time I've said 'we' and the other half I've said 'I', and even I get confused reading them afterwards. I find myself talking about 'the body' too (especially 'the arm' right now)... I guess it's because I don't feel it's my body, I'm not really connected to it and it's not 'mine'.
Last edited by ghosts in the machine : 08-01-2011 at 11:02 AM.
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
I always double check posts before pressing the send button, had too many bad experiances online of people being really nasty about the "we" thing so now just learnt to make sure it's never typed
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I know how you feel, sometimes I get all my terminology mixed up and then I can't understand what I've written...
I try not to use "we" when talking to people in person because I know they're going to look at me weirdly and ask me what the hell I'm talking about.
I tend not to use "we" on my threads and when posting on other threads apart from this one because I know some people won't be as understanding as the people who post here. Once Crystal posted about how often she uses substances and the people who replied were really confused...
Sadie: Hi. We read your other thread but at the moment the host is not keen on us posting on forums so I thought that posting here may be safer. I would be willing to come over to this game thing, Rachel might too, I doubt Sarah will though as she doesn't like online games and things much.
If you send us a PM about it (url ect) I'll check it out
I feel kind of scared posting on this forum because I feel like Im completely butting in - so Im really sorry for that.
I just felt like posting in here because Ive been dissociating a lot recently, and Ive also been drinking alcohol a lot more because it seems to allow me to dissociate easier and sometimes Id rather feel dissociated than feel all the horrible things I do when Im 'all there'.
