Triggering (Abuse) - dissociative distress thread

[shadow-light]

Hi, welcome to the thread. I have been diagnosed with DID, but the fact that you have not as yet should not prevent you from posting here. Dissociatiion is a spectrum anyway, and with being co-consious I was assume that you would fall into the DDNOS section.

Have you ever concidered seeing anyone about it?




____________________


I'm going to be away for a few days. Going to partners mothers for a few days (which also means going out with partners posh private school friends which will probably end in me embarassing him, but meh) so will have no internet now until the 29thish
Hope you're all ok

[piffilipiancrew]

Thanks,
Shadow-light, I see a counsellor who is the one that triggered me onto the fact that maybe there was a name for what I was experiencing. But as for doctors, I went for an assessment then because I froze and couldn't talk (one of the younger ones) they had a huge go at me along the lines of 'you shouldn't have come if you arn't ready to talk' resulting me leaving feeling severley suicicidal, the follow up from the doctor left me with a failed attempt so now i refuse to see anyone medically apart from my councellor who I'm learning to trust

[Kitkat :)]

We know how you feel, I don't really like doctors because I've found they're quite inexperienced when it comes to mental health issues - which is understandable as they're trained purely from a physical health point of view. We were once told by a doctor "just don't do it" when we spoke about our self-harm, which isn't quite as simple as that.

Most of the alters listed in our signature are co-conscious with Kathryn (the body) but there are others who aren't; so we don't know who they are.

We'd like to see a counsellor but don't trust them (and psychiatrists) after our last experience.

Skye.

[[Awakening]]

Hiya guys Im Emma's (Cherry Trees) partner. Just thought id let u know she's in hospital atm and has been for 2 weeks already. She may be another 2 weeks as shes under a section 2 :-/ love to u guys, thinking of u x

[ghosts in the machine]

Hi Jocelyn, thanks for letting us know about Emma. We hope things are going ok for you during this time, and we're keeping you and Emma in our thoughts.

Sorry I've not been posting much, things have been a bit up in the air and paranoid and busy, no excuse, I know but I'm sorry. Hope Christmas wasn't too stressful/difficult for you all xx

[Kitkat :)]

Hi, thanks for letting us know about Emma, hope you are both okay and we wish you both well.

Know how you feel, Kathryn's not been posting on here either, don't know why but she mentioned being paranoid but I don't know what about. Same for you, hope Christmas was okay for you too.

Skye.

[CrispConnoisseur]

Well, what a breakthrough I had. I ended up in hospital (normal ward)
for a bad infection and I did get a little distressed when my mum left.
But, all in all, I only blacked out once which was for an hour or so, and I
think it was because of the three people who sounded like they were
being tortured. They sounded in pain, badly, but I think it was more
of an attention thing. It was horrible to listen to at points and at other
points I felt burning anger, which I did before I blacked out.

So really, I'm happy it only happened once. Better than when i've
been distressed in the past.

[hidingme]

my grandpa passed away today..
it really hurts just as it alaways does when i lose a loved one..
where are my "others"? why wont they take over for me so i dont have to feel this pain?
it makes me feel as if i am faking them.. i dont hear them talking or anything they feel far far away from me..
maybe they arent there at all ..maybe i am a liar .. maybe it is just me..
i never ever felt like i would ever do that.. it goes agaist all my morals and values..

but they arent here now to help me thru this pain when i feel i need them most.. why? why??

Hiding

[hidingme]

well today isnt much easier than yesterday or the day before .. my others are still here with me cause i can hear them and occasionally sadie will come out and say something bitchy lol

I guess they just dont know what to do to help me.. guess you cant really "block out" memories when a family member passes on.
ive cried off and on all day at work today.
sometimes i am really good and strong and feel like nothing is really wrong and other times i cant stop feeling guilty and sad and thinking about things he told me or just memories over the years..
iam just tired of this..im tired of the back and forth feelings..
just wanna sleep.. dont care about going to work at all but know i gotta..kinda numb..just here..
idk sorry if i dont make sense..

[Kitkat :)]

Sorry to hear about your Grandad Hiding, hope you're okay.

Maybe they're not around to help make sure that you deal with this pain? Because it's more painful if you suppress it and then a few months/years later all the pain and hurt comes out.

Feel free to PM us if you want to, and take care.
*offers hugs*

Skye.

[ghosts in the machine]

hidingme, sorry to hear about your Grandad... can you get some kind of 'compassionate leave' from work? Some time to grieve for him?

Vaxir, blanking out less than usual in a highly stressful situation is good, glad you had a better-than-usual experience of hospital.

[hidingme]

thanks
karma, serenity and sadie have been around today. its helped some i guess. its so ierd how when things like this happen you feel as if time should stop and the world should be paused.. but it doesnt happen.

my bosses wife pissed off sadie today. she said that we looked tired and i said i was tired.. and she actually had the nerve to ask Why..
Sadie was like " umm cause my grandpa just died??!"

*sigh*

[shadow-light]

hi all hope you're ok. cant really keep up with thread right now. but hope all ok

[Kitkat :)]

Hey hope everyone's New Year was good. Crystal drank so much and Kathryn doesn't really remember the night, she had a bad hangover yesterday.

Hope everyone's okay today.

Skye.

[hidingme]

hihi skye. new yrs bad cuz we mis us papa lots. but i tink we fels lil betr for now. i tink karma helps lots. an serenity help lots insid.
tey is busi.
yesrda we go mommi an daddis an we tri no cri rownd daddi cuz papa waz him daddi. but we did lil bits. we go in hows wif mommi and aly tho an hers had musik on lowd an hers danse. mommi alwas veri funni wen hers dans an hers maks us laff lots.
sadie drinkd lots an us gotd drunk an ten i waz out an i feld dizzi an i snuggl wif daddi an his tummi maks good pillow but it do maks funni noys somtims hehe. daddi tell me he not go wa. i teld him i herd him hart go thump thump an he sed it waz brik in his ches. i ask him wy him haz brik in ther ..he sed it bes wat mak everiting werk hehe

i nevr reeli evr talkd to mommi an daddi veri much as bes myself. but las nite i did. tey no sa nuffin bowt it i ges tey tinkd it waz cuz sadie drinkd to much growd up drink.

aniwas i sori i keeps talk lots an lots toda. i not kno wy cuz we did seep no good las nite.
i not kno.
aniwa i go an bes qwiet now . sadie sa i driv her mor crazee cuz i talk to much an i need shut up hehe
sori
Sarah

[Kitkat :)]

Hey Sarah, sorry that New Years is so tough for you.

Crystal always go overboard with everything, so of course when she's drunk she carries on drinking. And of course she threw up, which wasn't really pretty, but none of us can really remember it.

Hope everyone's okay.

Skye.

[shadow-light]

hello... i have not been around much for a while, and we are not meant to post on here anymore, but i just wanted to check in and say hi. Is everyone ok?

[ghosts in the machine]

Hi, Sarah is it? I think we've all survived the christmas/new year's period. Out of curiosity - why aren't you supposed to post here anymore?


We're getting by, stuck with family for the rest of this week trying to look after the parents and sibling as there has been a bit of an upheaval. You'd think they'd be adult and mature enough to stop being asses to each other, but no - it's down to us to keep the peace.

[shadow-light]

we had some problems online with people being nasty and calling us "fakers", so the host said that it may be best if we only post on the DID specific forum
that we are a member of. She can still post here and we can sort of post through her sometimes, but we are not meant to make it so obvious that we are multiple anymore on here

[Kitkat :)]

Was anyone on here being nasty to you?

I'm sorry to hear about that.