I feel like no one cares for me, and everything is out of control. I want to stop it all, just end everything, so then the world and couldn't hurt me anymore and I'd be free.
That I will never know what it was like to be her. But I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. You hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. -Susanna, Girl, Interrupted
Looking4Hope: Do you think you could try telling your psych that you're finding him unhelpful, and that he's underestimating your issues?
Maybe. But I just don't really have the guts to...I just don't want to go back at this point. I'm just so damn broken. And I guess I don't have right to say that because there are people here hurting more than I. But really, truly...I get sick of "getting back up" again and again. Would rather just stay down. I get so sick of talking about this over and over. But i can't. I want to disappear. Still. Still. I just don't see the point. I just don't want to keep on like this.
~Delancey
Please note that I don't use this account anymore. My account is now: backafterthebridge if you need me. Stay safe!
I just want to offer hugs to any one that wants them. I know it is really hard but i really hope you all stay safe. Please rember helplines and and your locol A%E departments. Even in extreem cercumstances please call an ambulance they will be more then will to help you. Life is honestly worth the fight. Keep going.
I am around for a bit if any one what's a chat my PM box is open.
"The body faught to survive, it evacuated toxins in any way it knew how. It made clots to stop the bleeding.Bones would find the quickest ways to heal themselves. It made scar tissue. In the face of violence towards it, it would become violent. It was amazing, yet excruciating. "
Lost in dreams: can I have one of those hugs please?
I had a really miserable week last week but then I managed to stay reasonably happy all of Saturday and then yesterday I started going down hill again. Today, I'm struggling so so much. It was so hard to get up this morning and it's so hard to do things. I'm on the verge of tears. Everything I do seems to be a struggle. It seemed so much effort to even clean my teeth. I really wish I could speak to someone. I'm under the home treatment team but I daren't ring them. I'm having suicidal thoughts and just wish I could switch off my brain and have a rest from all this negativity. I feel like I've been ill for so long now and I just want to get better but I don't seem to be able to.
I give up... I can't do this anymore... What's the point in trying, no-one needs me.. It's like I'm invisible to everyone unless they want to insult or hurt me...
"Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike." - Albus Dumbledore
I feel that i want to die .... i have my CPN tomorrow ...i dont get on with him , but am going to tell him
that i feel suicidal hopefully he dosent talk about changing my thoughts and that shit witch wont be
helpful.
It's a thief in the night to come and grab you
It can creep up inside you and consume you
A disease of the mind it can control you
It's too close for comfort
everyday is the same
voice suicidal thoughts self harm no eating pinching crying shaking
i cant leave cause my family will suffer but why should i stay here and suffer 24/7?
i don't want to be here, why can't you understand that!!?
letting go doesn't mean giving up but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be ♥
I'm sorry. I just... I cant do this anymore. I can't cope with fighting constantly for anything and everything in life. There is one person who I carry on fighting for, but he would be better off without me anyway
I keep trying and trying every day to shake these thoughts and feelings, and every day I feel like I'm tumbling deeper and deeper into a dark hole. Saturday I felt so accomplished and positive, I got cleaning done around the house, exercised, went shopping, and felt terrific! By Sunday I had spent all day on the couch in a deep dark fog. I tried to get up and get things done, but every time I tried it ended up in a fit of tears and frustration.
What is WRONG with me? Why can't I shake this?
I feel like it's never going to get better and I'd be less of a hassle for EVERYONE if I wasn't here.
I can't go back on antidepressants, it was way too expensive, and I'm tired of putting crap in my body that ends up having horrible side effects and god only knows what kind of long term effects.
I just can't do this anymore. I am so tired of being tired, in pain, and sad. I feel like I'm stuck in a dark room and no one can hear me screaming.
Hi guys, I've read this thread before, but never really known what to say before. Umm, I hope the people who are posting in here are finding it helpful, and I really want to say to you all that I really feel for you all, and it's not fair that you have to feel this bad. I'm sure you've heard if before, and I'm sorry if it's no help, but whatever your situation, things can get better even though it doesn't seem like it now. You'd be amazed what a few months or even weeks can do.
I urge you all to seek the help you deserve from anywhere you can think of (medical professionals, family, friends, helplines, colleagues), get rid of the things in your life that make you miserable, and pursue whatever it is that makes you feel happy or hopeful.
Sorry for that shitty reply, but just wanted you all to know that we DO care. If you want anything at all, please feel free to send a pm my way :)
Lost in dreams: can I have one of those hugs please?
I had a really miserable week last week but then I managed to stay reasonably happy all of Saturday and then yesterday I started going down hill again. Today, I'm struggling so so much. It was so hard to get up this morning and it's so hard to do things. I'm on the verge of tears. Everything I do seems to be a struggle. It seemed so much effort to even clean my teeth. I really wish I could speak to someone. I'm under the home treatment team but I daren't ring them. I'm having suicidal thoughts and just wish I could switch off my brain and have a rest from all this negativity. I feel like I've been ill for so long now and I just want to get better but I don't seem to be able to.
Baggyjeans, why can't you call the home treatment team? getting better takes time btw. *hugs*
Quote:
Originally Posted by xlaurenx
Can someone help? I really arent doing very well today. I'm scared of what will/might happen.
hey lauren (i hope that' your name), can you elaborate on what's going on for you? *hugs*
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkpelt
Feeling like total crap and family don't even care , a 5pm appointment is all that i've been offered f*** that
darkpelt, please stay safe. *hugs*
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Lost Soul~
I give up... I can't do this anymore... What's the point in trying, no-one needs me.. It's like I'm invisible to everyone unless they want to insult or hurt me...
lost soul, what's made you feel this way? i'm here if you'd like to share...*hugs*
Quote:
Originally Posted by on edge
why cant i get the simplist thing right?
why cant i stand up to him?
he's won, he's just ripped every last bit of strength i had left out of me.
just ripped me apart and left me lying here hurting, crying and dying.
oh god let me go soon please.
on edge, please stay safe. *hugs*
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disturbia
I feel that i want to die .... i have my CPN tomorrow ...i dont get on with him , but am going to tell him
that i feel suicidal hopefully he dosent talk about changing my thoughts and that shit witch wont be
helpful.
disturbia, i think telling your CPN that you're suicidal is a good idea. if you're not happy with your current CPN, can you ask for a CPN change? *hugs*
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nataliee
everyday is the same
voice suicidal thoughts self harm no eating pinching crying shaking
i cant leave cause my family will suffer but why should i stay here and suffer 24/7?
i don't want to be here, why can't you understand that!!?
nataliee, please stay safe. here if you wanna talk/rant *hugs*
Quote:
Originally Posted by shadow-light
I'm sorry. I just... I cant do this anymore. I can't cope with fighting constantly for anything and everything in life. There is one person who I carry on fighting for, but he would be better off without me anyway
shadow light, please keep fighting for that one person. here if you wanna talk. *hugs*
Quote:
Originally Posted by IdleButDeadly
I keep trying and trying every day to shake these thoughts and feelings, and every day I feel like I'm tumbling deeper and deeper into a dark hole. Saturday I felt so accomplished and positive, I got cleaning done around the house, exercised, went shopping, and felt terrific! By Sunday I had spent all day on the couch in a deep dark fog. I tried to get up and get things done, but every time I tried it ended up in a fit of tears and frustration.
What is WRONG with me? Why can't I shake this?
I feel like it's never going to get better and I'd be less of a hassle for EVERYONE if I wasn't here.
I can't go back on antidepressants, it was way too expensive, and I'm tired of putting crap in my body that ends up having horrible side effects and god only knows what kind of long term effects.
I just can't do this anymore. I am so tired of being tired, in pain, and sad. I feel like I'm stuck in a dark room and no one can hear me screaming.
idlebutdeadly, depression isn't something you can just get rid off. most of the time, you need therapy. you said antidepressants are expensive but there are many types of ADs, some expensive, some cheaper. can you maybe ask your doctor to put you on a different AD? sorry if i'm useless...
Last edited by no point : 18-01-2011 at 01:05 AM.
Reason: spelling
I really like the support going on here.. please remember this thread is here for support in getting through suicidal urges and thoughts, but not for posting suicide notes, which are against the rules. We're all here to help you and hopefully posting and getting the thoughts out can help, but also remember though things are tough you can do some helpful things to get through the pain.
If you're in an immediate, urgent crisis to call a helpline, or get to hospital, both really good options for if you need to speak to someone immediately. Another option is to make a doctors appointment (you can make an emergency appointment if you need) to speak to your doctor, letting them know what is going on is SO important.
Other strategies include things that just get you by, moment to moment. They may seem small compared to your feelings - watching movies, going for a walk, listening to music you like - but these things can serve as distraction and even if it eases the pain by only a fraction, you know the pain is still able to be slowly lifted, and as time goes on things will get better.
Suicide really truly is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and there is no reason why these shit feelings won't pass... for all of you.
Finally, however much it seems like the way out right now, suicide is not the answer. You will get through this with time, and things will get better. I know these words don't mean a lot right now, and they don't seem very helpful, but things always get better. Time really does heal everything.
I know this seems impossible, but sucide is not the answer. It will devestate and ruin the lives of everyone who knew you. Don't do this, get help before it's too late.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aimee in Wonderland
I really like the support going on here.. please remember this thread is here for support in getting through suicidal urges and thoughts, but not for posting suicide notes, which are against the rules. We're all here to help you and hopefully posting and getting the thoughts out can help, but also remember though things are tough you can do some helpful things to get through the pain.
If you're in an immediate, urgent crisis to call a helpline, or get to hospital, both really good options for if you need to speak to someone immediately. Another option is to make a doctors appointment (you can make an emergency appointment if you need) to speak to your doctor, letting them know what is going on is SO important.
Other strategies include things that just get you by, moment to moment. They may seem small compared to your feelings - watching movies, going for a walk, listening to music you like - but these things can serve as distraction and even if it eases the pain by only a fraction, you know the pain is still able to be slowly lifted, and as time goes on things will get better.
Suicide really truly is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and there is no reason why these shit feelings won't pass... for all of you.
Please don't give up <3
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
"Best Friend, Angel of the get-through, all living is storm chasing." -A.G.
