A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I keep getting all these questions that I can only give an answer which is what they want to hear.
For example:
"Your eating's fine now right?"
What do I say to that? "No it's not actually, I'm having a hard time trying to stop myself restricting and I just purged about 20 minutes ago, so yeah I'm absloutely fine with my eating".
Trying to work now, think I can just about manage that.
Fraction, sorry to hear you've gone blank. Is there any way you can sort of "remove" the blankness?
thanks palemonn LOL @ luke sounds like something id say. thanks fraction.
things were ok last night until later when the high was wearing off..think it triggers flashbacks for me.. it was like a flood/combo of our diff fears and memoriesand just.. was bad.. why is it only me who gets them? it sucks im suppossed to be the strong one not weak or scared.. i took a xanax and went to sleep with sarah's teddy hoping shed come to get us to sleep but she didnt.. not sure where they are.. i guess they are scared or something but its strange when hiding isnt around (when im not smoking weed) i dunno just trying to make sense of it.. cause i dont understand.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Hope you're okay Sadie. Maybe you are seeing the flashbacks and experiencing all the emotions because you're the strongest one, and therefore more likely to be able to handle it?
I hate it when the high wears off... It's just back to reality and you feel incredibly rubbish.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I totally know how you feel.
Hmmm... It depends what kind of weed I've smoked. I think a few times I've become really panicky and fidgety because I've felt penned in when I've been in a sleeping bag. I do feel "vulnerable" in a way when I'm coming off the high, but haven't really deduced what kind of vulnerable it is.
well we had some dro our cousin gave us.. nathan wont seem to get the hell outta my head this morning seeing his face and hearing him and .. not really a full on flashback..but enough to bother me and piss me off and make my head fel foggy and fuzzy and i havent smoked anymore since last night-- that wore off. sorry .. i need to stop freakin whining.. ugh.. SADIE
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Hey (: good to talk to you again Sadie (:
Don't worry about talking about it, you're not whining, it'll be good to get it off your chest.
Kathryn's whining, you should check out her r/v thread... You think you're moaning.
I suspect her friend who said she threw up lied about doing so. I'm not best pleased with that, but she's coming over later so I'll have to put up with it.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Someone on Formspring said, "Hey you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility."
They're taking the p*ss, and it's annnoyed me. I know people can be insensitive... But what if I'm form-springing myself? Is that even possible? I'm confused...
bck in London now... in bedsit... haven't stopped crying since I got here... I was actually looking forward to coming back a few hours ago, but then it dawned on me that back to miserable life of not being able to afford food, stressing about rent and being alone and lonely and... eugh, I just want to curl up and die
Kitkat - Do you think it would be a good idea to be honest with people and tell them that you are struggling?
Sadie - It doesn't make you weak if you are scared or have flashbacks. In fact it makes you strong because you cope with so much. Hope you're ok.
Re: Weed... Smoking weed does kind of weaken the boundaries between reality and not-reality, so it's understandable that flashbacks would be more vivid and frequent if you have been smoking, as it's harder to hold onto the boundaries of reality. We used to smoke a lot, and I don't want to be lecturing or anything, but please do be careful with substances. They can do so, so much damage.
Hazel - Sending you big hugs. When do you next see Jack? Have you got a plan for how you are going to get through the next few days?
nah fraction dude you arent lecturing.. that made sense .. yeaa my friend and some family that know about us.. hate me smoking afraid it will interact with my meds.. but oh well whatever **** it..
Ayka!! hey girl! missed ya!! how ya been? thanks but still feel like i am being whiney..ya know? Kathryn- formspring? whats that.. sorry im confused.. SADIE
Hi All, hope that people are doing okay, supportive thoughts are with everyone.
Ok so I have to say I am very confused, I have in the last week or so become aware of some distinct others and they have finally become external of just inside my head. I am curious tho, my therapist seems to have expected this to develop. She has advised that I try as hard as I can to keep my 'actual' self present when dealing with the others, altho recognised at times that will be near impossible.
I guess my question is for those who have alters - why do you each have different names? It is my understanding and please correct me if i am wrong that each alter is a representation of self, of your self at various aspects in your life. I only have the tendency to refer to them as the little girl, the pre teen, and 18 year old. Does this make any sense?
Any experiences, thoughts people are willing to share would be greatly appreciated.
thanks.
life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself.
there was a discussinng of names a while bak. but with us we all sort of alwayss had names (other than nameless who has no name, ans Luna who had no name but then chose one)
Hey Becci,
Do you want to talk about what is going on? We're here for you...Listening and caring.
We're struggling. Still inpatient, and T's been away for 5 days, which isn't much but the part that has been speaking to her (still doesn't have a name, T is encouraging him to choose one, he says he isn't important enough) was coming out in sessions every second or so day. So I think his disorientation/confusion/upset is effecting me...
Finding reason,
For a lot of us we just 'had' names, others were named by abusers etc.
For us at least it's more than being a 'representation' of one person's self. I know some people who have dissociative aspects of themselves, that are, as you described a kind of embodiment of how they were at one point in time, but that isn't DID.
A lot of us inside didn't know we shared a body, had no idea of the body's history except the aspects that were their own. They have completely different ways of interacting with their environment, perceiving things, and thinking/feeling/behaving. Because these 'splits' happened when we were so very young they are quite pronounced and the amnesia walls are intensely strong. Yes, we are all aspects of the one person, but a lot of us don't even know we are in any way related, a very strong defense against abuse/trauma etc.
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