In a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of tempered grace,
falling into empty space
With no-one there to catch you in their arms
Kahlia1981 & silentgirl are my RYL sisters Plumeria Sister
Yeah there are unicorn, any reason for the question?
We're struggling. Just can't lift our mood at all, and don't know what to do about it. We're getting overwhelmed with everything because we don't feel like we have the internal resources to manage it at the moment... It's making us feel really shaky and uneasy... Trying to plow through it all but having a hard time of it.
Sorry, that was a random question... thought I'd written it differently. I'm DID too... wondered if I was alone that was all.
Previously unicorn-tears
In a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of tempered grace,
falling into empty space
With no-one there to catch you in their arms
Kahlia1981 & silentgirl are my RYL sisters Plumeria Sister
The whole thread is filled with people who have DID or similar symptoms or diagnosis. You are most certainly not alone.
Plus, the occasional lurker, such as myself, who has some symptoms and interest in discussions - but does not formally fit the category (if it helps, my psych says most of my symptoms are dissociative, my dx is depression though...).
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
Me, uh. I have a work meeting on Wednesday now about something that I need to talk about, a change happening at work, and it's something that's related to someone/thing that triggers my Others.
I'm feeling sad, tearful, withdrawn still.
I agree with you and its unfortunately no medication that relieves dissociation, although anti-depressants can ease the depression and intense rawness and sense of vulnerability some and dissociation has definitely blocked me off from the world and other people to a large degree and reaching out from that is one of the most painful and beautiful things that there is, in my perception.
hi just wanted to say we are still here lurking occassionally.. been sorta isolating.. just too much stress, too tired and too depressed.. but still here. hope everyone is doing ok.. Hiding
All I can smell is blood, and it's making me and/or others very triggered. I've not had a nosebleed, there's no fresh wounds on my body, nothing in the flat that would smell like blood... but the smell is there and very strong. I feel very shakey and anxious. Trying to play the Xbox to get away from it, but my heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest and there's a ball of anxiety in my stomach. Head ache too. I wish this would stop.
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
does anyone else find theirselves forever trying to please everyone and make everyone else happy to the point where your own wants/needs/ect ust get pushed to one side? Like you'll know what you want but because it gets in the way of when someone else wants yyou'll put your wants to one side and help the other person gain their desires.
And if so, does anyone else ever get seriously sick of it and angry with theirselves and everyone else for it all?
Honestly I wish that just for once I could have a want and actually gain said want... that I could either not throw it away the second someone else wants something, or that the other person could act as if my wants actually matter and stop me from throwing them away
hi shadow-light, I do that all the time.. always have cause making other people happy makes me happy..plus i can not stand other people being mad at me, being in trouble , or other people thinking bad things about me.
that was the major reason i stayed in my first marriage and put up with his emotional abuse for8 and a half loong yrs... that and im afraid of change.
i get angry with myself over it some cause well it isnt fair really but then again ive never really felt that i deserve to be happy.
however, I think all tat is a huge reason why I have Sadie. she gets angry with me for being that way. she tries to help and get me to stop caring so much about others and more what I/we want but .. I dont know.. I just cant seem to be that way.. it makes me feel soo selfish. Hiding
I'm just feeling really rubbish right now... I left Scotland for Jack as he wanted to move to London, and now I'm stuck here. When we were discussing what to do about moving I had 2 wants: 1. to stay in scotland, 2. to live with him. And I didn't mind which one happened aslong as one or the other did, but somehow now some 3rd option of us both leaing scotland but not living together has occuured... and I hate it... angry and him and myself and just everything...
spending more and more time feeling disconnected from the body, and having mre and more trouble with Michelle and Nameless as they are sort of conected to anger and there is a lot of that right now.
but then at the same time I'm getting upset and frustrated with myself and generally feeling like and awful awful person for being angry...
just sometimes it feels like everyone thinks "we will just do whatever we want, we'll make plans and decisions and not even involve/tell Hazel. It doesn't matter as she'l be ok, she's always ok, she will just find a way to fit round us" and I am SICK OF IT!!! When do I get my life? when do I get to stop jst fitting round everyone else? When do I get to stop just adapting and surviving and get to actually live???
things are going ****ing mental at the moment. ending up all over the place and not knowing how. can't really be here. at a friends house today so can use the internet- other than that, the lifeline is gone. alone together. not a good place to be. so much this week. too much
Hey Hiding, Sarah & Sadie... nice to see a familiar face
I feel weird, have been inside for over about 6 weeks. my partner doesn't know Im back yet, but I can't deal with all the drama of talking to her. She reads the other forum I used for DID so I feel really unsafe. Meh, can I just hang out here for a bit?
Ps. there are 14 of us in my system... will do a list at some point.
-UT
Previously unicorn-tears
In a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of tempered grace,
falling into empty space
With no-one there to catch you in their arms
Kahlia1981 & silentgirl are my RYL sisters Plumeria Sister
unicorn-tears: Of course you can hang out here, stay as long as you like =)
Does your partner know that her reading the other forum you're on makes you feel unsafe? Could you talk to her about it?
Hazel: how are things going? You're moving in to your new place today aren't you?
I can really empathise with the whole anger at having to accomodate everyone else to the extent that you ignore your own wishes. I do that a lot. And then I get angry at myself for being such a ****ing doormat, before rationalising that it's all my fault anyway as I'm incapable of consistently maintaining boundaries for myself (I'm a moron, it's a well known fact).
You're not a bad person for being angry though. I think anybody else would be severely pissed off if they were expected to forget about what they wanted and accomodate everyone else's, and you have every right to feel that way too.
I feel really dissociated and it's scaring me. I really want to SI, but it would just make things too complicated again. And I feel really dirty. I've already had 3 showers today and I still can't get clean
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
i'm hoping tha after a few days I'll be more used to it and it will be ok. Don't like sharing a kitchen though... may take time to get used to that. I think currently just feeling very lonely, going to nip to tesco (it's like 100m from the front door lol) soon to stock up on some stuff
