It wasn't a conscious thing, but it was like if I embraced the paranoia/psychosis that had already been a bit of a problem, allowed the voices to come more, and concentrated on the beings in my head rather than how bad things were, I could somehow cope.
I think I do similar at times... I know that when things are bad or when I'm scared of the future I will purposely trigger flashbacks to make myself focus on the past because it's like I can deal with them, I understand them, I know I can live through them, but the future and the pressent... that's all just one big unknown... when things are particulrly bad I also start to see my ex, he'll follow my about or just stand in the corner of the room either staring at me or insulting me... The professional types think it's a weird form of flashback, for ages I was convinsed it was a ghost lol. Now I think it's just another way o my mid trying to protect me from the pressent
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I don't understand it, I'm starting to feel a bit apprehensive about leaving my room in case nothing is outside. And I just fall into a black abyss.
But I'll see it and it'll be there.
Or is it an illusion?
Hmm. Some Matrix type thing. Hmm. Intriguing. HA.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
It'll be there cos I'll see it.
But like I said, it could be some Matrix type thing. A simulation of what world we could live in. Maybe this world is much better than the one this is being simulated from. I don't know.
HA there's too many ideas.
WHAT.
This is probably highly unhelpful, but there is a theory in quantum mechanics than anything not observed begins to collapse slowly into it's wave form. Should this be true, then yes kitkat you are right, however in reality it would take thousands of years for say, a tennis ball to dissapear so the chance of no one looking at it in that time is relatively slim.
T
System A
Sophie Mandi Max Gwen Mercy Erin AVA Tracey Bridget My Isaac
It's also a term used in modernist literature.
It was also something one of my uni lecturers called me.
And it hurt.
A lot.
And I'm not diagnosed with a personality disorder. Even if to some people's eyes, I have one.
I just had an unfortunate beginning followed by a shitty childhood.
And I DO know other people exist.
They existed to hurt me.
Right?
[Katrina]
I think it's more helpful, Kat, to focus on what might have caused it. Than the diagnoses it matches. Sorry, lostboys. But. uh. Majorly stirred up here.
And is not what we're talking about here a facet of lack of object permanence?
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Mmm. I'm not sure, I was just sitting in my room. The other time it happened was when I was in my friend's shed and I suddenly felt all boxed in, and I started talking about how I felt like I was in a box, then I started talking about death and how we don't know if there's anything beyond it, if we live on, or if we just die etc.
In short I'm not sure what's precipitating these feelings.
