this is strange. I thought about this when i had to tell people about my selfharm and they ask questions like when it started or how u did it. And when i began to think about it and understand that selfharm wasnt just about cutting yourself i can remember doin similar things like others have already posted like biting my arms when i was a kid. I can think back to times when i was under a lot of emotional stress and did things like this to help me but didnt realise what it was that i was actually doing.
I suppose it kind of shows that while others learn better coping mechanisms, maybe as we've grown up we've found that being in physical pain can provide some relief from whatever was goin on, whether we did it intentionally or not, and thats why we now intentionally turn to it. Other kids learned to scream at the top of their lungs when they were upset, but we learnt to hurt instead. So as adults/teenagers we carry on the pattern.
well thats jst my thoughts on it... sorry for such a long rant lol
xo
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now that i think about it more? when i was about 8 or 9? i used to scratch the inside of my elbow til it bled. not even scratching that hard? just over and over while it got redder and redder. then it would start to bead up withy blood. then id get like hand sanitizer from my teachers desk and rub it on the spot. idk i just always would. school stressed me out cuz i had ADD and couslnt concentrate on my assignments
wow apparently im not the only one who used to bite myself o.O
lol [/pointlessness]
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
Thats what I kinda think too. I never learnt how to deal with my emotions properly due to how I raised.
x
qft
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
You know, I hadn't really ever thought about SI'ing when I was little... but I think when I was about 7 I would bite my arm if I was feeling stressed.
Wow.. that's interesting.
I first cut around the age of 8. I have a vivid memory of getting really angry at myself for not playing a video game perfectly, heading to the bathroom, and grabbing daddy's razor. I'm sure you know how the rest goes!
I only realized SI was abnormal when I asked a girl at camp if she ever cut???? Her odd look was enough for me to get clarification on the "normality" of the behavior.
I continued to engage in self harm, in a variety of ways, while growing up and then at 19 started doing it in a rather severe way. I'm 31 now.
I dunno. I always used to pick scabs, and try and make myself get injured. Accidentally on purpose kinda thing. Like trying to break my wrist for example, by engaging in activities where accidents like that happen, eg climbing a tree. I also used to bite my arms, still do sometimes, to leave teethmarks.
I dunno if that has anything to do with anything though.
I used to be able to disappear into a fantasy world - I spent more time there than the real world (and a lot more pleasant than the real world). It's when I stopped being able to do that (mid-teens, I stopped believing in my imagination in the same way as a child does) that I started to SH. I guess once that outlet went I had to find another way to cope.
I never thought about it before but now that I do...I used to hit myself on purpose in middle school when I was angry at myself and I used to scratch myself with a pencil as well. This IS an interesting thread...
You tell me everything's all right
As though it's something you've been through
You think this torment is romantic
Well it's not, except to you
I never did "proper" SI until I was about 16 due to things going on at the time causing a powerful belief in me that I needed to be punished... and the SI was a way to do that to myself
I'm not sure I grew up with it or was programmed for it or anything... I didn't really do the whole build up thing of starting with scratching or biting or wall banging... I pritty much jumped straight in, as it were...
I don't remember ever doing anything before my first cut at 16...
though I think this may just be me.. as most people I've spoken to on here did seem to start "small" and build up or whatever... I'm not wording this well... lol
I dunno. I always used to pick scabs, and try and make myself get injured. Accidentally on purpose kinda thing. Like trying to break my wrist for example, by engaging in activities where accidents like that happen, eg climbing a tree. I also used to bite my arms, still do sometimes, to leave teethmarks.
I dunno if that has anything to do with anything though.
I know exactly what you mean. I used to try to break my leg and stuff like that by playing where I could fall a considerable distance. I hadn't really thought of that before...
i dont know really , i used to let my upset out on others when i was a child (i was a nightmare) until i realised that it was totally wrong to hurt other people . this was when i was in grade 1 so from then on yes i guess i did sh in other ways , headbanging , swallowing things , scratching , but i tell people that i started SH'ing when i was 12 , becuause thats when the cutting started :/ so i kina guess yea...
i used to love injuring myslef as a kid to pubish my self and loved having bandages on , now i hate them ....
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