I used to pull my hair out when I was younger, used to deliberately fall off my bike and just scraped my knees and stuff.
I do remember harming myself with a razor before I was 7, but I dont think it was "self harming" I think it was me not comphrehending that doing that would hurt
Sarah: Give me the child.
Jareth: Sarah beware. I have been generous up till now. I can be cruel.
Sarah: Generous? What have you done that's generous?
Jareth: Everything! Everything you have wanted I have done. You asked the child be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?
Thanks guys, these are really interesting answers. In a way it's kinda helped qualify things in my head.
I've started recovery now, but I prefer not to call it that. I realised that self harm didn't help me any more. From that I thought about myself and my past. I thought how I started cutting when I was 14, but I allowed myself to get hurt a long time before that.
I have vague memories of falling off my bike when I was little. When I was very young, I'd cry, but I grew up and realised that actually, it wasn't that bad. Then I started letting myself get hurt. I'd tease people until they hurt me, or I wouldn't move out of the way of something that could hurt me. At the time I never really called it self harm. I didn't know what self harm was until my friend told me she did it. She didn't start me cutting, but I guess she put the idea in my head.
That's an interesting view to take. I can see that you hide it because your mother being angry. I hide mine at home because she gets scared and then cries. At school I've learned to ignore the looks I get. I don't hide it there any more.
If you started harming yourself at a young age, what type of harm was it? Did you cut/burn/whatever, or was it smaller and simpler, like head banging etc?
Simpler. I made pretty good use of my nails and scratched myself up like that. I would slam my fist into a wall, or bite myself. Stuff like that. The most complex thing I would do is attack bruises, sometimes with hammers & stuff.
If you made visible harm (eg. cuts) at the younger ages, did you realise it was self harm? Did you make an attempt to hide it with the knowledge we now have?
I didn't cut, but I did some other things that were noticeable. Many times when I injured myself accidentally I would deliberately make it much worse. So many times a very minor ankle strain or something that would have gone away in a few hours lasted much, much longer because I deliberately hurt it more. I also ended up with some really nasty bruises because I would hit ones that already existed in order to make them worse.
I had no idea that was self harm, although I did feel guilty that I was lying about it. And I did just the opposite of trying to hide them. I didn't want anyone to know that I had done it, but I wanted lots of attention for my "injury" so I would wear a brace or whatever, and make sure everyone knew how much it hurt.
I didn't want anyone to know that I had done it, but I wanted lots of attention for my "injury" so I would wear a brace or whatever, and make sure everyone knew how much it hurt.
I'm not really sure. I guess I liked the attention I would get from my parents, friends, teachers, etc. If I had my arm in a sling or whatever people would notice.
I think that instinct probably came from the fact that I was so dedicated to perfection in other areas as a little kid. I was always miles ahead of my classmates at an early age. People always thought I would go far. I did all my work with kids much older than I was. I impressed most adults I talked to. But I shunned a lot of "kid" things, and I rarely let anyone take care of me or anything. I wanted to be self reliant most of the time. I didn't ever ask for help. So I guess I was missing out on the affection I needed, so I compensated with countless "fake" injuries.
As long as I can remember, I've been picking and biting at my skin. I never realised it was self harm. I remember my mum telling me off a few times when she saw the bite marks on my arms, but she never mentioned the picking and scratching. I'd also bang my hands and head against things, or punch my head and pull my hair.
I started cutting at about twelve or thirteen. That was when I started hiding it. Almost everything else had stopped by this point, except now - at nineteen, I still pick at my skin. Especially on the tops of my arms, where I used to cut - before they found out and I moved onto my thighs.
You are a wonderful creation.
You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know.
Come to think of it I've always deliberately done damage to myself. I've always scratched and picked at my skin. And when I wad about 8 or 9 I would stand straight on the playground and hold my breath until I passed out. I also stay under water until I start blacking out underwater and my lungs are screaming for air. But I never thought much of it. Hmm.
Do what you love to do, and you'll never work another day in your life.
I first started picking aged 9-10 years but still going on now ever since my memory are vivid feelings that I had in the past..My mother knows that I still picking alots of times and tried to telling me to stop but I couldn't stop until my hands are busy enough..
I first harmed myself was a cutting that I was 25 (now)..that was last January cause I had moved on next "self-harm"..that's means it is getting stronger to hurt myself because of things happens in the past in my teens years..I haven't cut deep but it's only the temporary cuts..
If you started harming yourself at a young age, what type of harm was it? Did you cut/burn/whatever, or was it smaller and simpler, like head banging etc? I slammed my head into things, bit myself, clawed at my arms and legs [rarely if ever drawing blood]. I don't think I started cutting until I was 13.
If you made visible harm (eg. cuts) at the younger ages, did you realise it was self harm? Did you make an attempt to hide it with the knowledge we now have? No. I thought biting yourself to stop crying was perfectly normal. Never tried to hide it. Never thought it was an issue, so why bother, right?
When i was between the ages of 5 and 7, i would pick at my sckin, still do. It would bleed and get infected. I was 11 when i started cutting. I just couldn't feal with life. Now im 14. still doing both but have added other ways aslwell. sucks.
This Too Shall Pass, I Too Shall Grow, We are The lucky ones, one day at a time. MUSIC <3
I was around 11/12 when I first did any type of self-harm. Scratching and eraser burns.
Around 13 I did more. Then from 14-15 I didn't really do anything besides scratching. But I didn't really even notice I did it. I would scratch myself and then my skin would be raw. I never really hid it because it just looked like I scraped myself or something.
Then I started really cutting at 16.
- If you started harming yourself at a young age, what type of harm was it? Did you cut/burn/whatever, or was it smaller and simpler, like head banging etc?
I used to try and cut my fingers off with scissors but I never drew blood, and I used to scratch, nip and bite myself. I think I was about 7/8 when I started doing this and it grew more serious when I was 14.
- If you made visible harm (eg. cuts) at the younger ages, did you realise it was self harm? Did you make an attempt to hide it with the knowledge we now have?
I didn't make visible harm but I didn't realise what I was doing was like a form of self-harm anyway. And only recently I remembered that I used to do nd realised it was a form of self-harm even then as I did it when I felt like I was being a bad person.
Last edited by Birdy : 16-05-2010 at 10:19 PM.
Reason: Adding information
I dont know when i was younger i used to sort of bite and pinch my arms and legs when i was stressed or upset, from when i was about 13, but i didnt actually consider it self harm, to me it was just something i did. I still dont think its self harm it seems so minor. It was only when i started scratching and cutting that i figured it was self harm, but that i started when i was older.
♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed. Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
hmm...i used to saw at myself with a ruler when i felt down...this was at about 11 or 12...not sure...i didn't know what was...just that it helped me...i didn't bother hiding it because i didn't know it was "wrong" to other people...
If you started harming yourself at a young age, what type of harm was it? Did you cut/burn/whatever, or was it smaller and simpler, like head banging etc?
I was 11 when i started cutting, I used to cut a lot even though I was tiny.
If you made visible harm (eg. cuts) at the younger ages, did you realise it was self harm? Did you make an attempt to hide it with the knowledge we now have?
Yeah, I knew what it was. I did hide it, because I thought that my parents would send me to a psych. if they knew.
