had no nightmares last night :D but I got up loged into deviantART and discovered that someoone had started a thead on the forum there staing I am a "lying attention wh*r*" and now I have over 100 notes and things about how I should go "jump off a bridge"
Might just go back to bed, no point even tryng in the wakng world to do anything
I would be the problem is I run some groups on there so have to log in for admin stuff :( been trying to only log in once a day for the last few days but well it hasn't woked too well
Hazel, that is just awful. Don't listen to them; they don't know you. They don't know what they're talking about.
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We have therapy today, and Gabriella has volunteered to talk to our therapist about the two systems and how things have been. I am extremely nervous about letting her out, but I feel too overwhelmed to do it myself. I never allow anyone else out in public, for fear of bad repercussions.
Hopefully things will okay.
My name is Matt, and I am a boy. Feel free to PM me :)
I have learned that the world is not a safe place. Not at all. But there are so many people who love me and want to keep me safe. And that is enough.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Hi everyone, haven't posted for a while but I am reading and keeping up and I'm thinking of you all.
Not got much to say... The others have gone, think they're still being held in with Onyx, and Blue got scared away by my friend who was pretty graphic to her and hurt her.
I'm over the stupid idiots now, decided they are not worth it and loads of people started backing me up and things which was nice :) but they are all reported and blacked now and decided stuff them if they dont like me that's there problem. However, for the next few days I am going to stay away from the site as much as I can.
My internet is beng really tempormental tonight not sure why but it is annoying
hope everyone is doing ok :) tried to read all the posts but the internet is loading at such an inconstent rate that got sick of waiting for it to work, right now I can see about half of the posts the others look squished and wihout writting :/ may need to do a virus scan or something
i jus wan say hi. we wen to stor an i i got ne tiny stuffies to hid in purs wif my otr blu bunni stuffie. the new ons bes tigrs..mamma an babi. tey is cut. michel also by me stikrs tinkrbels tat sparkly an pufy pmy litl pny stikers. =) i liks get prizes.it maks me hapi.
we no goin to zoo tomoro tho but tat bes ok cuz hiding meenie boss man wan her werk sunda nite sinc we tak monda off for dr. no fayr huh?
For me, my 'switching' happens when it happens. It's not something I can or should consciously 'control'. For me the aim is to grow in understanding and conscious awareness, working at setting boundaries etc.
I'm not sure which in me is most active right now. Katrina got really riled up in me on Thursday evening, but yesterday and today, it's sort of a twilight state. Still somewhat numb maybe from two major road accidents in two days locally, that I saw the aftermath of each time.
Sarah, it's nice to have stuffies nearby that can help you feel safe. I hope Monday is helpful for all of you.
Hazel, the internet sometimes *rolls eyes*. I understand how it can be. Take good care of yourself.. I have to keep working at 'protecting' myself online too, all of me.
tank you katie =) i hops it gos ok to. we no go to zoo toda but tat ok wif werk tomoro i tink it do bes betr if we sta hom toda.
i hat tat menie boss man. if he hir mor pepls he wuld no car if we hav 3 das off in row, but no..it just us an boss werk fron desk. big meenie. we need vacashun, but tat not alowd i gess plus we ned monee. so oh wel.sori i no get mad alot but i bes mad ovr gos werk moro.
Hiding an sadie dos sa tat we not werk long cuze we has get up erli for dr monda. an boss man sa we need com in at 4:30 so we gona only werk 4 hrs .. or tat wat hiding an sadie says.
sori i talk lots. aly got gam for her birfda we tink we gona pla wil hers is seepin stil hehe.
Kyle -- No Gabriella isn't a child, and it went well. Our therapist was very validating.
Hiding -- Work stuff just sucks, you know? I hope your boss can be nicer. Bad bosses are no fun :(.
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We had a good session with the therapist yesterday. Very "floaty" throughout it, so I (Jen) don't remember a lot, but I do remember Luke and Gabriella said hello to her.
We would probably switch a lot more in public if I allowed it, but White and I act as gatekeepers. It also helps that most of the alters don't want to come out anyway; they prefer to stay inside for various reasons.
My name is Matt, and I am a boy. Feel free to PM me :)
I have learned that the world is not a safe place. Not at all. But there are so many people who love me and want to keep me safe. And that is enough.
We are tired of going back and forth with ourselves about possibly having DID. Telling ourselves we're lying, then we're not, we're lying, then we're not. We're going to request an official psychological test from our therapist, or if she can't do it, from our psychatrist.
My name is Matt, and I am a boy. Feel free to PM me :)
I have learned that the world is not a safe place. Not at all. But there are so many people who love me and want to keep me safe. And that is enough.
Emotionallly tired but also physically achey. But just feel really awake at the same time, it's odd lol
Ooo I hate it when others disapear... usually not matter how silent they are I can at least feel them (well some of them) but when that stops I don't like it.. I'm sure kyle will return in time
We went to Ash's step dad's nonno and nonna's place for lunch today, they don't speak much english (they're Italian) and there was so much wheat and onion and we feel really sick. We're allergic to both. So know we're paying for it.
We're getting further on our pc rig. Got most of the components worked out which is very exciting. Just have to save the money now, what a pain :P
We switched last night, someone we don't know (not unusual) and Ash's mum came in. She said she was stroking our hair and asking who it was. We could only think, what was she thinking? You don't touch us when you don't know who is out, she knows this. Apparently they pushed her hand away but it 'was ok until then'
We're going to do some journaling when the sickness goes away, see what is going on.
